Episode 331: Your Urban Legends LXXVII - Totally Normal Stairs, Don’t Worry About It
/Julia reminds you to warn your partners about your childhood hauntings, Amanda discovers something creepier than smells, and Eric makes it harder for us to sleep. It’s an urban legends episode, y’all!
Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of illness, arson, fire, child labor, misogyny, sexual harassment, gore, guns, and home invasion.
Housekeeping
- Recommendation: This week, Julia recommends BBC’s Ghosts
- Books: Check out our previous book recommendations, guests’ books, and more at spiritspodcast.com/books
- Call to Action: Check out Tell Me About It, a madcap game show about proving that the things you like are actually interesting, hosted by Adal Rifai (from Hello From the Magic Tavern and Hey, Riddle Riddle) and our own Eric Silver.
Sponsors
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Find Us Online
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Transcript
AMANDA: Welcome to Spirits Podcast, a boozy dive into mythology, legends, and folklore. Every week we pour a drink and learn about a new story from around the world. I'm Amanda.
JULIA: And I'm Julia.
ERIC: And I'm Eric.
AMANDA: And this is Episode 331, another installment of your urban legend.
ERIC: Bang bang. We are coming to you live recorded and just me—
AMANDA: Well actually tape hmm.
ERIC: —from the room, I've been stuck in for some time now. Kelsey is currently sick with a cough. She's not like sick, she just has a cough that particularly gets up to trouble in the night.
AMANDA: Oh yeah.
ERIC: And then we also have Herbie who because he's on a lot of steroids still needs to go out. So I have been just hanging out in the office. So you got me and Herb, I stay up a little bit later, take them out so he doesn't have to go out in the middle of the night. Doesn't always work but sometimes does so like this is—this is my space and it is being haunted by me now.
JULIA: Ohh, not just the ghost that lives in your attic.
ERIC: Yes, not just the ghosts. I am the one just haunting this very specific room.
JULIA: Well, now that you are in the room that we have seen the most ghost sightings in. And by that, your chair moved that one time.
ERIC: One time a chair move.
AMANDA: Uh-huh.
ERIC: One time a door open
JULIA: Ohh, yes I forgot about the door opening.
AMANDA: Yup.
ERIC: The two—the two things you need.
AMANDA: You can't sleep on the door.
ERIC: You can't sleep on the door, I sleep on the futon. it's Right here, Amanda.
AMANDA: Yes, yes.
JULIA: Now my question is how has the ghost been as a roommate in the situation that you are currently living in?
ERIC: Well, the ghost has been fine since it's nonexistent. Herbie has taken to in his later years, nesting a lot more. He really has been going at making a nest with—with his tan blanket here that's on the bed for like minutes at a time, which is a big uptick from him. Usually, he's just like, I only will sleep wherever. But now he's a big nester.
AMANDA: Like many of us, he comes to appreciate, you know, the finer things, the creature comforts, and making sure his environment suits him, which I think frankly, is icon behavior.
JULIA: Yeah.
ERIC: Yeah. I mean, I think so as well. But yeah, no, no, nothing spooky has happened here. I do— I do sleep with—with that headband headphones on, and I listen to some ASMR videos while I sleep.
AMANDA: Nice.
ERIC: And sometimes there will be a sound in those that I think is a sound from outside, and that does throw me for a loop sometimes. But like that's gonna happen when you're just listening to an hour and 40-minute video of someone tapping on wood.
JULIA: Yeah, that will do it. Can I ask you a question about the headband headphones?
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Are they comfortable when you're a side sleeper, because I have yet to find—
ERIC: Yes. See, I'll show you.
JULIA: Yes, please. I know this is like a plug for not a product that sponsors us, not Sponcon.
ERIC: Oh, this is definitely not a plug. These are—as an audio engineer, the worst audio experience I could possibly— I gave them— I gave them I think 4 or 3 stars on Amazon because the batteries like fade very quickly, probably because I kill them like literally every two nights.
JULIA: Yeah.
ERIC: I have two pairs so that one's always charged.
AMANDA: Smart.
ERIC: They vary. It's either nice and sleek.
AMANDA: Oh, it looks like a like a workout—
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: —headband, like kind of micro modal fabric, that's nice.
ERIC: They do show on Amazon that they can be worked out it. If I saw someone at the gym wearing this, I would beat them up. So don't do that.
AMANDA: It's a wide headband.
ERIC: It's very, it's very big. It also keeps my neck sort of warm now that I'm bald. So it's not a hat, but it does weirdly keep me a lot warmer. So yeah, I so yeah, but I think sometimes those videos that I'm listening to do have like some random sound love, like what is that and—
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: It's ghost.
ERIC: It's always I take off the headband just to check, maybe it is a ghost and it is. It just simply has never been, and I've never heard the sound with the headband on. Unless the headbands are haunted.
JULIA: Can I suggest another theory? I like the idea that the headbands are counted, and now I'm not going to purchase them. But my other theory might be what you're hearing is the ghost in the recording of the ASMR video and the person who's doing the ASMR is in fact haunted.
AMANDA: It's good Julia, that's good.
ERIC: Yeah, that makes sense. That I mean, it makes sense. There's a lot of—a lot of spooky ASMR, I don't listen to some of the spooky ASMR. If you— here's the thing, if you watch too much ASMR on YouTube, the recommendations start to get very weird and we've talked about this before—
JULIA: Yes you talked about that.
ERIC: [4:56] ASMR that, that.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: [4:59]
AMANDA: Listen, boring. We all know about that, come on.
ERIC: Yeah, but then there—then there's just like weirder ones that are like, I can't even begin to describe them. Not because they're like lewd or anything, but like, they just get too niche and too specific where it's like, it feels like somebody requested this from you and you've just sent it to everybody instead.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: Okay.
JULIA: I'm gonna do it.
JULIA: Okay.
AMANDA: I mean, listen, a mass— a mass BCC ain't a bad thing. If you do like favorites, you return to where you try to get some variety.
ERIC: Whole lot.
AMANDA: Because for me, I—I tend to listen to podcasts that I'm like medium interested in because it's enough for my brain to be a little bit listening to instead of my own anxious thoughts, but then not enough to keep me up, you know?
ERIC: Yeah, I've got— I've got a few—a few standard people I go to, and then every so often, I just search ASMR sleep and—
AMANDA: Nice.
ERIC: Sometimes it just will throw out some of the like a creepy clown makeup doing like we'll falling asleep at the carnival, but also it's weird. And I was like, no, thank you. That's—that's too strange, that's too strange.
JULIA: It's my nightmare, what you just described is my nightmare.
ERIC: Yeah, yeah. So there's a wide range. But yeah, I used to like ones where it was someone talking, but I've —recently there's a channel called ASMR bakery that has—
AMANDA: Ohh nice.
ERIC: Just as— as I said, 100 like minute long video of someone just tapping out a variety of different woods and it is Choice. Choice, because we're definitely—
AMANDA: I'm so happy for you, bud.
ERIC: —asleep by the end of that video and it is chill. We are talked now for almost five minutes about ASMR. So I'm going to read a story.
JULIA: Great.
ERIC: Instead of continuing on this path. We'll link some of my favorite channels in the Patreon extras which you can get for $4 a month.
JULIA: Great.
AMANDA: Oh, hell yeah, dude.
ERIC: So this first story comes to us from Angelica and she writes “my parents very creepy, uninvited, houseguest.”
JULIA: Whoa.
AMANDA: Alright.
ERIC: Now, I picked this quite a while ago, and then we've just haven't had time for me to read a story on recent episodes, on bonus episodes are on the Patreon, so I don't remember any of the context of this, so I'm excited—
JULIA: Great.
ERIC: — to read it
AMANDA: Ideal baby, that's podcasting.
JULIA: We're gonna discover it all together. Let's go.
ERIC: “My name is Angela and I'm from”— Okay, it's from Quebec. So I—
JULIA: Okay.
ERIC: —as you know—
JULIA: [7:27]
ERIC: [7:29] without saying any forward words, Gatineau. We're gonna say that.
AMANDA: Sure.
JULIA: That's French.
ERIC: We're gonna say start “Gatineau—
JULIA: That's a little start.
ERIC: —Quebec, Canada.”
JULIA: Great.
ERIC: “I really enjoy Spirits and it has gotten me through many long drives to and from gigs. I wanted to write to you because I have a ghost encounter that might interest you.”
AMANDA: All ghost encounters interest us.
ERIC: That's true.
JULIA: Also, I want to know what kind of gigs they do, you know? Is it band gigs?
ERIC: I mean, we might— we might find out.
JULIA: Oh, that's true. Okay.
AMANDA: Hell yeah. Eric doesn't know, so we're just gonna find out [7:58]
ERIC: I don't know what I'm about to read. Mostly words. Hopefully not many more French words. “For most of my life, I thought I just had an overactive imagination and sleep paralysis, but recent happenings have changed my mind. The first encounter I can recall with the house ghost was when I was 3 to 4 years old, and I started having recurring nightmares. Or at least that's what my parents reassured me they were. I would wake up in my bed in the middle of the night and turn over towards my door. Every time I would see a tall indistinct shadow profiled in the dim light of the hallway nightlight. I wanted to scream but couldn't, and I would try to hide in my blankets. Unfortunately, I would unerringly find myself completely incapable of moving as a crept closer and closer until it was right by my bedside.” Now that I like, because like—
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: The shadow people are usually like there and then gone. Or the sleep paralysis—
AMANDA: Yes.
ERIC: —demons, I feel like, are like, it just stood there at the bottom of my bed. The—the approaching, the approaching is bad.
JULIA: Yeah, I know. You don't want it to move, you don't want it to move.
AMANDA: You don't want it to move.
ERIC: You don't want it to move.
JULIA: But it moved.
ERIC: “A pale hand wo—”
JULIA: Oh, absolutely not.
AMANDA: Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Two—two textures here, two colors, I don't think so, baby.
JULIA: [9:21] only be one.
ERIC: Nope.
AMANDA: Monochromatic ghosts much easier to deal with.
ERIC: “So this pale hand would reach up the side of my bed and would simply wait near the bedside light to switch for me, to try and turn it on.” That's the worst part, it's like you—you know what you have to do to like, I'm going to make the room bright. And there's just a hand there.
AMANDA: It's a hard no, it's a hard no.
JULIA: I also need us to understand that this is a tall figure, but the hand has to come up from below the bed, which means the arms are very long. The proportions are not right, I don't like it.
AMANDA: Julia, you are so right and it is so wrong.
ERIC: “I would eventually fall back asleep from exhaustion.”
JULIA: Oh, no.
ERIC: That's a—that's a bad way for this to resolve itself, I'll be honest.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: “This went on periodically for another—” how many years do you want to think? So Angelica was 3 to 4 years old. How long—how long do you think this persisted for
JULIA: 10 years?
AMANDA: Yeah, I'm gonna say— I'm gonna say 8. I think 11 and 12 is an age when you're hauntings, like, your body starts to change.
ERIC: “This went on periodically for another 16 to 17 years.”
AMANDA: Fuck!
JULIA: I was gonna say 50, and I was like, they're probably like 18 or 19 when it stopped, I don't know.
ERIC: In—into their late teens, early 20s.
JULIA: Absolutely not.
AMANDA: Hey, listen, Angelica, your fucking hero. You're so brave. You are so brave to keep sleeping and waking, under these circumstances.
ERIC: At least it was only periodically, So —
JULIA: Yes.
ERIC: —I mean maybe— hopeful—hopeful—hopefully business periodically, so only 4 times a year.
AMANDA: If this was every night, I'd be like, ah, my nighttime haunting, here we are.
JULIA: Periodically the worst.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: That's the worst.
JULIA: You can't expect it, that's the problem.
AMANDA: Yes.
ERIC: I see. Yeah. So— so I will say that the sentence ends with when they finally moved away for university. So this was a—
JULIA: There it is.
ERIC: —specific—
JULIA: There it is.
ERIC: —to house ghost.
AMANDA: If it were me, I would have emancipated. I would have set house fire. I would have told one of my friends that I simply can't sleep at home anymore. I would have become one of those Victorian garden hermits and gotten child wages to go live in someone else's garden shed.
ERIC: Amanda's gonna be on the like front page of like the New York, post-woke child to divorce her parents—
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Over—
JULIA: Burn house.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: I also— I just want to quickly go back to the idea which Eric described, where the haunting is quarterly, and then every 3 months. And I feel like we skipped over that.
AMANDA: Oh, yeah.
JULIA: I just wanted to— I want to appreciate that Eric. I didn't want to skip over it.
AMANDA: I'm sorry. I totally missed that thinking about my own child Hermit's imagination.
ERIC: No, you're good.
AMANDA: Incredibly good.
ERIC: So we've got a couple more stories here from Angelica.
JULIA: Okay.
ERIC: “As a young teenager, I became convinced that I had sleep paralysis, and then I kind of got used to the occasional terror-filled night. However, when my sister and I started looking more like women than kids, things changed.”
JULIA: Uh-oh.
ERIC: A haunting of puberty.
AMANDA: What did I say?
JULIA: Ohh, no.
AMANDA: What did I say?
ERIC: We would sometimes feel a presence watching us or hear breathing when we were alone in the house.
JULIA: My fingers are crossed for a protective ghost, and not a creepy ghost.
AMANDA: Not a lecherous one. Yeah, we—we get enough sexual harassment on this plane.
ERIC: Well based on story one, have you might have feel like a creepy in that way ghost, but [12:42] is probably going to lean more towards the creepy than a protective dose.
JULIA: Alright.
AMANDA: Well allow it.
ERIC: “When I was 16. I was getting ready to get out of the bath while home alone.” Okay, so I was wrong. I want to just acknowledge quickly that I was incorrect about the type— type of creepiness that the ghost would be.
AMANDA: Thank you.
ERIC: “I reached out of the shower curtain to pull it back, and my hand wrapped around a man's cold hairy leg.”
AMANDA: No, Angelica simply no.
ERIC: “A pit formed in my stomach, and fear flowed through my veins.”
AMANDA: [13:18]
ERIC: “I wanted nothing to do with the situation. I slowly let go, brought my arm back into the bathtub, and simply waited until I couldn't feel the presence anymore before trying to get out of the bath again.” Just a— just a hairy leg out there. Hairy ghostly leg.
JULIA: I don't think of ghosts as hairy very often, and I think this has opened up a new fear inside of me. And I don't appreciate it.
ERIC: Hairy ghost.
JULIA: Hairy ghost
ERIC: Hairy ghost is bad.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: This um, this might be leading me to revise my opinion that smell is the worst sense to be haunted by. Maybe it's touch if that touches a hairy leg.
ERIC: Yeah, yep. No good, no good. So the final story here we go. Hopefully less hairy legs involved, but no guarantees.
JULIA: Please.
ERIC: “On several occasions, my sister tried to tell my parents about the hauntings, but they blamed our overactive imaginations.” A classic parent move. “I convinced myself that they were right. Until recently, when I moved into my first apartment. First of all, I haven't had sleep paralysis since I moved here. Furthermore, when my boyfriend and I went to visit my parents, and we slept in their guest room, we heard breathing in a corner of the basement. We both played it off as a trick of the ventilation. However, he was also visited by the same dark being and pale hand and was caught in the same terrorizing immobility I had lived with for so long. He woke me up early in the morning after our first night there and told me about his terrifying ordeal. I was shocked. Thinking it was all very foolish, I had not told him about the dreams. To me, this confirmed the existence of my parents' very creepy, uninvited, houseguest. Stay creepy, stay cool Spirits crew. Hope this story gave you a chill.” I would say so.
JULIA: Oh, yeah.
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: I'll say.
JULIA: Also, I just want to reiterate, once again, if you were haunted as a child, you have to tell your future partner or spouse about that, It should be one of those conversations like do you want to get married? Do you want to have kids? Also, were you haunted as a child? Should I be concerned about that?
AMANDA: Exactly. What cultural and religious environment? do we want to raise our children in if we have them? Do you have any debts that we should know about? What do— are your end-of-life plans and caregiving responsibilities? Are you a haunted child?
JULIA: I need to know.
ERIC: You might be indebted to the ghosts with the pale hand.
JULIA: Yeah.
ERIC: I mean we literally just talked about deals with the devils.
JULIA: Right.
ERIC: A few episodes ago. So like, if you unbeknowing to you might have made an unconscious deal with the devil, you have to—you have to acknowledge that.
JULIA: You got to know.
AMANDA: Now guys, is it possible here that we are leaping to conclusions that the hand was trying to prevent Angelica from turning on that light? Is it possible the hand wanted something? And if so, what could it have been?
JULIA: Amanda, I think if the hand wanted something, it would have been palm up like gimme, gimme, and not pumped down, like no, no, no, don't touch.
AMANDA: That's true.
JULIA: Universal sign for I would like something is palm out to gimme, gimme.
AMANDA: You're right, you're right.
ERIC: Is it possible—follow me on this one?
JULIA: Uh-oh.
AMANDA: I'm with you.
ERIC: For ghost needed a razor to shave its hairy leg?
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: Okay. Also, I don't want to assume, impose body standards imposed on us by the big razor, right?
ERIC: Of course not, of course not.
AMANDA: But maybe it was [17:01].
JULIA: Maybe?
AMANDA: Maybe it was [17:03] that's femininity. Maybe it's like simply wanted it. It's true, it's possible.
ERIC: I mean, who knows? Who knows?
AMANDA: Who knows? I'll be thinking about this one when I take my nightly bath.
ERIC: I do like that. Like genuinely listeners, I did forget what this story was about. And I do like that the [17:19] went from, here's how I get peaceful nights of sleep, to me telling like one of the creepiest story, I think I've ever read on the podcast that we [17:28]. So I genuinely, purely accidental one, two punch with that intro and first story.
JULIA: Yeah. Yeah, you really did that to us.
AMANDA: That's an old-timer.
JULIA: I have two stories sent in by Eric, he/him. The first one is called something slightly off. And the second one is called haunted sea captain's House. So how about I start us off With something slightly off? We take our refill because we'll probably need it.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: And then I come back with the haunted sea captain's house.
ERIC: I love it.
AMANDA: Hell yeah, dude.
JULIA: Beautiful. So we're going to start off. Eric says “I'm a longtime listener and have thought about writing in for some time, but finally decided to bite the bullet and do so when I heard the recent Urban Legends with Corrine! I grew up in and still live in the Greater Portland area and decided to make my own meaning out of what the universe gives us, by taking the fact that you have a guest who lives in my neck of the woods as a sign that I should write in. By the way, the full name of the cocktail bar that Corrine mentioned is The Bearded Lady's Jewel Box. Which is—”
AMANDA: Ahhh.
JULIA: Great name. “Which I thought y'all would enjoy. Also, they usually don't have food, but sometimes they bring in a panini press and we'll bootleg you some grilled cheese. Again, just fun facts for your entertainment. Also, mazel to Amanda on her recent conversion. I have two stories I would like to share with you today, both from when I was in high school.”
AMANDA: Hell yeah, dude.
ERIC: I just gotta say, bootleg grilled cheese is my new Gamertag.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Yay!
JULIA: Changing my Tumblr account to bootleg grilled cheese. So let's start with something slightly off. “The first took place at my mom's house. My mom lives in a semi-rural, semi-suburban town outside of the city that is mostly planned developments from the late 80s to early 2000s. Surrounded by trees, marsh, and other small farms. One summer night circa 2011, my mom was out of town and my sister was at my dad's. So I invited some friends over to have a fire and barbecue. The evening started off perfectly normal with four of us cooking some food and having a beer to around the fire. A few more friends were supposed to show up later around 10 pm. My mom's house is a large colonial style built in the 90s with a front lawn about the size of the house's footprint and a backyard that is about two of the house in size. The firepit is essentially centered in the backyard which is surrounded by a thin line of trees on all sides dividing it from its neighbors. The front lawn faces onto an open street.” Already, I'm like, hmm I'm concerned, but let's go.
AMANDA: Yeah, I'm also just like put off by the planned development is suburban-ish vibe, which just inherently creepy.
JULIA: Yeah. And I mean, like having a colonial that was built in 1990 throws me for a loop. So here we are.
AMANDA: Yes.
ERIC: We just— we just got a plaque for our house.
JULIA: I saw that, I'm so excited.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Very cool.
ERIC: And on the back it said, certified not haunted.
JULIA: No, that's a lie.
ERIC: [20:21]
AMANDA: Eric, it did not say that.
ERIC: Man, if I could get the Historical Society to confirm the house isn't haunted, that would be a huge ep for this podcast.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: Eric, here's a—here's a—here's a little nugget for you. Little idea. Do [20:34], ready? You buy a Dremel. You carved on the back of your plaque, not haunted. Then you affixed the plaque to your home.
ERIC: Gotcha. Gotcha. I do need a Dremel for another thing. So this—this could just be added to my to-do list.
AMANDA: Yeah. And so then in the future, if and when somebody else buys the house or the historical society comes to, I don't know, upgrade your plaque. Someone takes it off, turns it over. That's a future of Urban Legend, baby.
ERIC: True, true.
JULIA: There we go.
ERIC: True.
JULIA: Eric, you are truly living my dream by having a house that has a historic plaque on it, but I will not hold that against you.
ERIC: And we were staying in Portland, Maine last summer, a bunch of houses in the neighborhood who had had them on. I mean, like literally we got like when we got home like we got to let us like hey, your house is 100 years old, you could get a plaque.
JULIA: [21:17]
ERIC: [21:18] I actually ordered the plaque because I was all for it. She was like I don't know. And [21:21] I was like, we got a plaque, baby.
JULIA: I have to wait 28 years for my house to be 100 years old, so I am— I'm living here. super jealous.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: So Eric continues. “Around 9 pm we were chatting around the fire when we heard a voice coming from by the house. We turned around to see a figure standing in the side yard, a thin path between the side of the house and the trees. Everything about this gave a vibe of being slightly off without being obviously wrong either. The figure was making sounds but we couldn't make out exactly what was being said. Despite the fact that it seemed like we should be able to, given how far away they were. They were standing right on the edge of the light cast by the fire and some exterior yard lights. It seemed like the lights should have been enough for us to clearly see the figure, yet they were totally cast in shadows. They were holding something to their head as if they were talking on a cell phone but no screen light illuminated their face. They were very tall, not horror movie, this is definitely a monster tall, but one of the tallest people I had ever seen. We shouted to them asking who it was and what they wanted, but they did not respond. They stood there staring for another moment and then turned around and walked away. Two of my friends and I immediately grabbed heavy objects, a fire poker, a stick, and an empty wine bottle which had already only had a tiny amount left when the night started, I promise and ran after the figure. We came into the front yard and there was nobody in sight. I can't emphasize enough how impossible this was. The front yard was wide open with a good view of the street. We would have been able to see them running away, hurt a car, etc. And the forest was layered with dead leaves and dense enough underbrush that we would have heard them moving through it, yet we didn't hear a sound. We stationed one friend out front and another out back while the two of us circled the house, but there was absolutely no sign of our shadowy visitor.” I'm gonna point out a problem here with the story, with a mistake that they made and that was they didn't check inside the house. So what I would have done I would have been like oh, now I gotta go through my entire house because this person may or may not have broken into my house while we were on the other side, you don't know. "They finished with a several hours later after our friends had arrived. Our neighbor who was the town fire marshal came into our yard, giving us all quite a fright. He promptly announced hey, don't you know there's a burn ban? We did not. We asked him if someone had called us in hoping that it would partially explain our shadowy visitor. He responded with something along the lines of, no, you idiots, I looked outside my kitchen window. Fair enough. I still think about this incident as I can neither wholly dismiss it as mundanely explainable nor definitively say it was supernatural and spooky. I'm happy though to hear all of your thoughts." So what do we think?
ERIC: Hmm.
JULIA: Hmm
ERIC: I mean, I recently had a breaker on our street explode while I was outside and I thought was fireworks because of there were a bunch of like flashing things—
JULIA: Oh yeah.
ERIC: —which I realized after I started seeing the sparks, I was like, oh, no, something's on fire.
JULIA: Yep.
ERIC: So that was very spooky in like a disaster kind of way. I'm trying to figure out like, what would like make a figure appear at such a thing. I mean, it could just be like maybe it will come up.
JULIA: Yeah.
ERIC: Maybe it's like you were doing stuff, you're making some noise. You were burning something. I mean, ghosts hate when you burn their bones because it puts— it puts them in hell forever.
JULIA: That's true.
ERIC: I think I don't remember something—
JULIA: Sure.
ERIC: —something Supernatural, the show not the concept of Supernatural. So yeah, I mean, maybe it was like ah, and they wanted to like get stop you from some— for some reason, maybe they thought they were next. Something like that.
JULIA: Hmm. Interesting. Amanda?
AMANDA: I'm thinking about what the figure was holding against their head as if they were talking on a cell phone. Some options here, old-timey ear horn.
JULIA: Okay.
AMANDA: Maybe the ghost can hear very well. And to hear your conversation a little bit better. Maybe it was just chilly and lonely and wanted to come toward the fire, hear a little bit conversation. Other options, maybe the ghost was their head was carved in twain, and they were holding one half back against the first half. Those are my two options and that ghost give a sense of where I'm at today.
JULIA: Like the green ribbon.
AMANDA: Yep.
JULIA: I gotcha.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Alright.
ERIC: Did they say it was about the shape of a telephone, maybe it was like a magical sending so that they were using like a cell phone.
JULIA: They specifically said they were holding something to their head as if they were talking on a cell phone, but no screen light illuminated their face.
ERIC: Maybe they're like an old-timey ghost doesn't know what a cell phone is. So they're imitating—
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: —the current modern cell phone by just hold like a rock. Maybe it's something along those lines.
AMANDA: Eric, that's good.
JULIA: Now Amanda, what you just did was you did the thing where it was the thumb and the pinky.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: And—
AMANDA: I did the Chaka but no, they were like holding you know, holding as if like a brick to their head or something.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Well, the interesting thing is I just recently saw a video of like the difference between like Gen Z and Millennials. And if you like ask a child nowadays to be like, oh imitate a cell phone or like you know, how do you show that you're like holding your phone? They just like kind of hold it to their—the full hand to their ear.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Rather than the– you know, receiver speaker situation.
ERIC: But hang loose but up to your ear.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: And that just made me think of that. So maybe this ghost you know, it was outdated and it was doing the—the old—
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: —the old phone's dial.
ERIC: Now my—my go-to reaction emoji on Slack has recently become the hang loose.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Because I've moved away. I feel like thumbs-up people are starting to think is like aggressive at times. So I'm left like hang loose, you can't— you can't interpret hang loose as aggressive in any way, hopefully.
JULIA: That's fair.
AMANDA: I'm hanging loose, baby. There's—there's no aggression there.
ERIC: Exactly. I'm just like, oh, you guys recorded the thing, hanging loose. Thank you for letting me know.
AMANDA: Tight.
ERIC: But now I realized that someone might be thinking this like, why is Eric always using the telephone emoji.
JULIA: The call me emoji.
AMANDA: And it's because you're like, hey, I want you to know that I am a mid-age millennial.
ERIC: Yeah, that's exactly it. Yup.
JULIA: There you go. Now, you know.
AMANDA: And that's important to know. I gotta be honest, Julia I don't have any bad vibes from this ghost. I think they are this—this apparition the shadow. You know, they stand near the fire, the people got excited. It's an— it's a nice story that the family can you know, the friend group can tell each other and they learned about the burn ban and so nobody started a forest fire. So you know, no, no notes here.
JULIA: Here is my logical explanation. I don't think that they're entirely off. I think that probably it was someone who's walking down the street, saw smoke called the fire department, and then went to investigate, saw that was just a bunch of kids like drinking around a fire. And was like, actually, you know what, it's fine, I'm gonna like let them get back to what they were doing and then walks away.
ERIC: Yeah. Also, they seemed like they were a normal, tall.
JULIA: Yes.
ERIC: Cause they were like, they were tall but not like spooky tall.
JULIA: Monster tall, yeah.
ERIC: So,so that— that also helps.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Yeah. And their arm didn't extend like from the foot of the bed all the way to the edge of the bed, and then up toward the [28:19]
JULIA: [28:19]
AMANDA: So we're good there.
JULIA: I hate it.
ERIC: Their legs, unclear if hairy or not.
AMANDA: You know that's my [28:24]
JULIA: So we'll get to the second half of Eric's email, but first how about we go and grab a refill?
ERIC: Sounds good.
AMANDA: Let's do it.
[theme]
JULIA: Hey, this is Julia and welcome to the refill. Of course, we have to start out by thanking our amazing patrons, starting with our producer-level patrons Uhleeseeuh, Anne, Brittany, Froody Chick, Hannah, Jack Marie, Jane, Kneazlekins, Lily, Matthew, Megan Moon, Nathan, Phil Fresh, Rikoelike, Captain Jonathan MAL-uh-kye Cosmos, Sarah, Scott, and Zazi. And of course our legend-level patrons Arianna, Audra, Bex, Chibi Yokai, Morgan, Sarah, Schmitty, & Bea Me Up Scotty. If you would like to join the Patreon and get some awesome rewards like Cocktail Recipe Cards, both cocktails and mocktails, bonus urban legends episodes and so much more, head to patreon.com/spiritspodcast to join today for as little as $4 a month. You don't want to miss out, we have some great content there. Speaking of great content, this is the part where I get to tell you about something that I have been loving lately, and I—I will admit, I slept on this for a little bit. Many people recommended it to me and I finally sat down to watch it on HBO Max and it is BBC's Ghosts. And man, I got a lot of feelings about these ghosts. I got a lot of feelings about these ghosts. I haven't felt this way in a long, long time watching a TV show. I love them. they're funny. They're an eclectic crew and they're great. Check it out BBC Ghosts if you have BBC America, I think probably watch it on that. HBO Max has it BBC Ghosts, it's great. I'm also here to tell you about one of our sister shows hear on the Multitude Collective and that is Tell Me About It. Tell me about it is a madcap game show about proving that the things that you like are actually interesting. It is hosted by one of my favorite podcasters of all time Adal Rifai from Hello from the Magic Tavern and Hey Riddle Riddle and of course our own Eric Silver. So Adal is basically an eccentric billionaire who has wrangled his audio butler Eric to prove that the single most interesting and cool thing ever is the movie musical Grease. You know, like with John Travolta and stuff, Sandy, yeah, that one. In every episode of guests comes on to share and defend their favorite thing through a series of absurd games and challenges. Most recently, Amanda was on an episode saying that retirement plans are the greatest thing of all time. And you can imagine that is a fun and wild ride. It is hilarious. I've never laughed so hard about retirement plans before. You can check out the episodes now, and there are new episodes every other Thursday. Tell Me About It, is the most fun podcast run by a multi-billionaire, and that's saying something. And now let's hear it from our sponsors. Listen, it's officially springtime now. I don't have to crawl under my blankets and hide like a little freezing-cold bunny anymore. 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And I think that you will find that therapy is a wonderful way to talk out your problems and your concerns and deepen your self-awareness and understanding. And BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are. I know that I have really benefited from therapy and it is an experience that I always recommend for other people especially when they are going through a hard time, and even when you're not going through a hard time. Therapy can help you check in with yourself and make sure that you are the best version of yourself. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get started with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. 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JULIA: Alright, we are back and I asked myself as we were taking a little break, what I've been drinking lately. And also what's going on with my life and the answer is wine.
ERIC: Nice.
AMANDA: Well, what kind of wines do you go for Julia? You have more wine knowledge than me, so you probably don't do what I do, which is pick a cool label.
JULIA: I am currently on more of like a Cabernet Sauvignon kind of kick right now. Which is like fine. I'm excited for it to be closer to summer so I can go back to my— my Rosae all day situation. And yeah, I'm just looking forward to that. You know, that's all I want my life.
AMANDA: I like it.
ERIC: Thought you would you say Rosae all-day
JULIA: Rosae all day.
ERIC: Okay, just —just— just making sure.
JULIA: If it's the weekend Eric, Rosae all day.
ERIC: Okay, okay.
JULIA: I'm at the beach, Rosae all day.
AMANDA: We picked up an orange wine recently, which I keep reading about what that means. These [37:03] the grape skins and the wine, and it just deletes itself from my brain every time. But I am certainly enjoying it. It tastes great and looks cool.
JULIA: Yeah, it's white wine, but they keep the skins on.
AMANDA: There you are, thank you.
JULIA: I got you.
ERIC: We won't go into a wild tangent, but the newest season of Top Chef has recently started which I assume Amanda is watching along with me.
AMANDA: Oh yeah. I showed Julia an episode when we were at PAX East by the way.
JULIA: Yes, that's true.
ERIC: Oh, nice. I will never not think of this—the iconic season one moment where there was a Somalia out the show because they didn't know what the show was yet.
JULIA: For some reason.
ERIC: And he said, ah Rosae, this is quite rare. And I will never not be able to—
JULIA: It was 2008, Eric.
ERIC: —it was— it was a long time ago, and Rosae's are not popular. But I will never not think of Rosae and I'd be like, oh yeah, there was a point in history where it was like this is— this is quite classy, a quite a rare. No one is drinking these. This is the sophisticated choice.
AMANDA: That's true.
ERIC: Yeah, very good. For me, I've— I've— I've led in with this before, and I'll do it again. I've been trying all of the westward whiskies I have tried. Honestly, perfect—perfect ally up you've given me here. They're Pinot Cask Whiskey. So it's whiskey that is aged in—in a wine barrel, and it's quite good. I do think that the stout beats out that and the— the—the traditional, but I would say—it just by a little bit because the stout and the Pinot Cask both have really, really complex flavors and are very good. So yeah, so I'm kind of drinking wine, but in the loosest sense.
AMANDA: There you go.
JULIA: You're drinking wine adjacent, and I appreciate that for you.
ERIC: I'm drinking a Whiskey pour that has some wine notes that I want to be very clear, I'm not pouring a wide glass of whiskey.
JULIA: I would be so curious.
ERIC: I keep saying I'm dri—I'm drinking a glass of whiskey guys, I'm drinking last, I'm drinking last. I just want to have one glass, but it is about four glasses of whiskey. It's just a wine pour of whiskey.
JULIA: We check in on you every like month or so to see. So if you're going through like a bottle a month Eric, we're not judging you. That's fine.
ERIC: Yeah, no,
AMANDA: Yeah, that's—that's the move of a—a 20-year-old who doesn't know what it's like to wake up dehydrated just from like the house you're staying in.
ERIC: Yup.
JULIA: That's true.
ERIC: Yep
JULIA: That's true. So I have Eric's second half of the email, which is the haunted sea captain's house.
AMANDA: Ah, nothing could be more Julia.
JULIA: That's true. “My second story happened when I was staying over at a friend's house way down east. For those of you who don't know, down east is the east/northeastmost part of the main Coast beyond Acadia National Park to the Canadian border. The name comes from the days of significant sailing trade between Boston, Portland, and Penobscot Bay in Maine with St. John, Yarmouth, and Halifax in maritime Canada. From Boston to St. John, you sail downwind on the prevailing winds heading east, thus Downeast.” I desperately want like nautical music to play is like just [40:04] that's just me.
ERIC: Well, I— well good news, I have forgotten to cancel the subscription for the sound effects from It's Norse, Of course, so I'll just—so I'll just take that one out the check for that $50 that I'll download, use of nautical music Julia.
AMANDA: Hell yeah, dude.
JULIA: Excellent. Thank you. “This is also why folks from Maine and New Hampshire say they're going up or shopping up to Boston because old-timey sailors would be sailing upwind on the return trip. Ah, etymology.”
AMANDA: Genuinely very helpful.
JULIA: “Moving on. My friend's house is a large old captains mansion from at least the 1800s maybe earlier, I've never looked into the exact history. In order to get there, I actually needed to take a water taxi from the tourist town of Bar Harbor—” Bar Harbor. “—to the town dock and then be driven up to the mansion. I for one felt like I was in a regency novel. Everything started off normal. My friend M and her sister J, and their dad picked me up and we had a fun day skateboarding and goofing around in their driveway. Shortly before dinner, we decided to bring my bag up to the guest room. I must emphasize how Austenian this house feels, especially the upstairs. There are oil paintings, mostly portraits, and seascapes on many of the walls, and the lamps are all gas lamps converted to electric.” Again, this sounds like a dream for me, I'm having a great time. “The stairs up are an ornate open banister at the top of which you can turn back down a long hallway which is open so that you can look down into the foyer. We entered the guest bedroom, and the moment I crossed the threshold, I get a vibe, which I can only describe as nope, I was simply not allowed to sleep in this room. Something was telling me with the utmost certainty, I could not sleep in this room. I let M and J know, a little freaked out and a little embarrassed for causing such a fuss.” Which like, you know, imagine you were like visiting your friend's house and they're like, alright, let me bring your bag up to the guest bedroom and you step into that guest bedroom and you simply say, I cannot sleep here.
AMANDA: Julia, you know what, if you were the person hosting me, you'd be like, I get it. No questions.
JULIA: I get it. We have a nice futon and the couch pulls out which would you prefer?
AMANDA: Yep.
JULIA: “So they gave each other a look, which I took to mean, why is he being so weird? And then M hesitantly suggested that I could stay in the other smaller guest room if I want it. I said that sounded good and thanked them and apologize for being you know, a weirdo. We went to the other guest bedroom at the far end of the hall. It had an oil painting of a young girl in it, which was creepy purely because movies have conditioned us to be creeped out by young girls, but not for any additional reason. I was still a little freaked out and didn't feel totally comfortable here either, but I figured it was just residual from the strange experience I had just had in the other room. I certainly felt better in this room. We went downstairs and played cards while her parents cooked dinner, which was a delicious lasagna if I remember correctly. And slowly my feelings of discomfort subsided. At dinner, M mentioned that I was going to be sleeping in the smaller guest bedroom to which her father gave her strange questioning look but made no further comment. You know that look that actors give in movies to signal to the audience that something suspicious is afoot, but we will learn exactly what approximately 30 minutes from now, it was that look. I was slightly confused but the conversation moved on quickly. And I decided to just roll with it. That night I had a little bit of trouble falling asleep but thought nothing more of it and had an essentially uneventful night. The next morning over cereal, M and J asked me how I slept with a strange sort of nervous hesitance. Fine, I told them. They both visibly relaxed immediately. They were worried they went on to explain because the reaction I had had to the first guest bedroom was exactly the reaction guests usually have to the smaller one that I slept in. It was so bad that they essentially don't use that room in the house. The family has never felt the do not enter vibes, but the girls were all a little creeped out by the small guest bedroom and made their mom do all the cleaning in there.” Which division of labor feminism. “They had tried to put me in the first larger guest bedroom in the first place because it seems to be the most comforting, quote, safe room for guests. They also proceeded to tell me about their house ghost, which they had previously never mentioned.”
AMANDA: Oh, sure.
JULIA: Again, if your house is haunted and you're inviting guests over, you have to let them know. You have to let them know.
ERIC: You got it.
AMANDA: That's just polite.
JULIA: It's just polite, it's good hospitality, you know? Anyway, “the ghost had been seen by all four children in the family. They have an older and younger sister who aren't in the story in exactly three places. Place one, the rocking chair in the living room. Place two, walking down the upstairs hallway into the small guest room, always seen from the downstairs foyer or the foot of the stairs. Place three, the first half of the narrow staircase which leads to the attic. Always going up and always seen from the hallway.” Eric, I'm looking at you and your narrow staircase that leads to your attic.
ERIC: It's not a narrow staircase, it's a normal-width staircase, I'll have you know.
JULIA: Okay, okay.
ERIC: It is. it's literally— it's literally directly above the main staircase and is the exact same way.
JULIA: Alright.
ERIC: It is a completely normal staircase.
JULIA: I'll allow it, I'll allow it. “So the ghost appears as an elderly man wearing nondescript slacks and a collared shirt and some sort of coat or vest, which seems contemporaneous to the early 1800s. But we were high schoolers and Regency fashion was not our particular nerdy fixation, so I can't give you more details. The ghost has never given anyone scary vibes other than the initial surprise of seeing him out of the corner of your eye. He does not give a guardian spirit kindly type of vibe either, however, more like a grumpy neighbor who will tolerate you and you just have to tolerate him as well. No one has been able to explain why that particular room was off-limits or why the opposite was true for me. But it was an undeniably creepy experience. I hung out there the rest of the day, then took the evening ferry back to the less haunted parts of the world, staring cinematically into the sunset. That's all I have for now, but the only other story I can think of at the moment is the one time God called me an asshole on my way into the shul, which as a reform-ish agnostic was very surprising. But if I think of any others, I will let you know. By the way, I'm a kayak guide in the Portland area. If you ever are visiting and want to come out for a paddle, see some seals or explore a cool old fort, where canonically no one has died. I'd be happy to take the Spirits team out on a trip.”
AMANDA: Hell yeah.
ERIC: Oh, now I will be near Portland this summer. So perhaps I will do that. I went on a boat that seemed to go right past an old fort. So maybe that was the same fort.
JULIA: There you go. Canonically, no one's died there Eric. So you can go on a nice kayaking trip with this other Eric and have a great time.
ERIC: Just two Eric's kayak and up to completely deathless fort.
JULIA: Makes sense and it checks out.
ERIC: Yeah. I just want to add the stairs to my basement are also a normal width.
JULIA: Okay, bud I believe you.
AMANDA: We're—we're joshing you.
ERIC: All the stairs at the house are completely normal.
JULIA: You have a real the gentleman doth protest too much instance here about your staircases but—
ERIC: That's fine, that's fine.
JULIA: —Okay. Okay.
AMANDA: My staircase in my apartment too narrow, and the one that goes up to the roof even narrower, even worse.
JULIA: That's true.
AMANDA: So you know I'm—
ERIC: You do have an— I'm impressed how much stuff you got up that staircase because I was like this is pretty small. Even for like New York, It was pretty small.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: Yeah. No, it is. Well, folks, let's close this out with a– a brief hometown logical haunting. This is called the logical Haunting of the creepy toy from Betty she/her.
JULIA: Okay. Alright. Hit me with it.
AMANDA: Betty writes, “after a difficult semester of being both a teacher and a grad student, I am finally getting caught up on Spirits episodes from fall 2022. I recently listened to the logical explanation episode which reminded me of my own story. It was Christmas Eve 1996. My father descends the stairs of our haunted house. You read about it in Episode 150.”
JULIA: Oooh, it's been a while then.
AMANDA: “He enters the basement to gather the Christmas gifts for my brother and I. He turns on the lights and hears a disembodied voice saying peekaboo.”
JULIA: Uh-oh.
AMANDA: Now I share with you all yesterday that during a very stormy and like eerie afternoon in the studio, I hear from the open window floating on the breeze, the wheels on the bus go round and round. And I probably shut the window, and it was terrifying.
JULIA: Yep.
AMANDA: So that's what I've got in my brain right now. “Scared shitless, he run upstairs to grab his shotgun and came back down to the basement.”
JULIA: Uh-oh.
AMANDA: “Seeing nothing he moved further in a turning on the next light. He heard it again. Peekaboo.”
JULIA: Okay, hold on real quick. Let's talk about.
ERIC: Like gun safety?
JULIA: Yes, gun safety. Let's talk about home invasion and how if you hear the phrase peekaboo and probably a singsong child voice
ERIC: [49:16]
AMANDA: That's not what that means.
JULIA: That's probably not a home envasion.
ERIC: Yeah, we just saw that, that Knock at the Cabin movie with big old Dave Batista.
JULIA: Yeah.
ERIC: No one said like peekaboo in that movie as far as I can recall.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: That movie it's trip. It's a [49:30] and it ain't that bad.
JULIA: There is a great Queer Movie Podcast episode on that movie if you don't mind being spoiled. Not that there is really a twist in that movie all that much for an M Night Shyamalan but—
ERIC: Honestly the twist because the setup is pretty immediate. The twist is kind of like is the twist this way or that way? Because you know it's got a twist—
JULIA: Yeah, right.
ERIC: —but you're like, I don't know which way it's twisted.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: That's fair. That's just tension. So of course, guys, this does not end sadly, and America should ban guns as far as I'm concerned. “He turned and faced what was responsible, Tyco's Playtime Big Bird released in 1996 with features such as this little piggy went to market and Patty Cake activated by pressing the toes.” And then in parentheses, Betty wrote bird (claws ??? ) and hands (wings ??? ) respectively. “The final feature is a motion and light-activated sensor on Big Bird's forehead that triggers him to say peekaboo.”
JULIA: Yep.
AMANDA: “Thankfully Big Bird was not shot that night and my 3-year-old self received a fun creepy toy. Many years later when I was in maybe fourth or fifth grade I was going through my old toy box to donate toys I didn't play with anymore—”
JULIA: Great.
AMANDA: “—when I to heard peekaboo.” Now what I want to know guys is why my makeup mirror, I have a little like makeup mirror with a ring light on it. Why it runs out of battery fucking every 5 days when I use it for five minutes a day, when these toys from the early 90s would have batteries a decade later that still work.
JULIA: There's a word for that and Amanda I'm forgetting what it is, but it's—
AMANDA: Planned obsolescence, Julia.
JULIA: Yes.
AMANDA: Is what it is.
ERIC: I mean, it's probably— it's probably that for some reason your ring light has a microchip in it, and all of these things were just like a tape cassette with the smallest sensor though.
AMANDA: I know. I know.
JULIA: Just very quickly before we wrap up, Jake recently got a new phone because his phone of over a decade finally died.
ERIC: Big Jake vibes.
AMANDA: He fully had it, I think he got it the year we started college or the year after we gra— or the year we graduated high school?
JULIA: Yep.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Was it even a smartphone?
JULIA: Yes, it was, it was a Samsung Galaxy.
ERIC: One?
JULIA: Uh, probably.
AMANDA: But I think you access the internet via an app, was that right Julia? Like it was that era of smartphones or not quite?
JULIA: I couldn't possibly say. I very rarely enjoyed using his phone. But he brought it to the store and the reason it died wasn't just because it died, it's because he dropped it in a hot tub.
AMANDA: Sure.
JULIA: So the guy looked at the phone he's like this still fucking worked and Jake likes, yeah, it was a good phone. I mean it was little slow but like, and the guys like man they don't make them like they used to. And now that's what I think of every time I think about just like yeah, they don't make them like they used to.
ERIC: Wow.
AMANDA: Well, they no longer make them like they used to for playtime Big Bird which I am dropping a link in chat about halfway through the video, I just posted you too can hear the peekaboo.
JULIA: Oh boy.
AMANDA: And don't worry, we will link this for patrons
JULIA: I wouldn't think that there was a home intruder if I heard peekaboo.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: But that's just me.
AMANDA: Yeah, that was— that was too melodic. Thank you Betty for— for this—this [52:33]
JULIA: Well next time you hear peekaboo in your basement, remember, stay creepy.
AMANDA: Stay cool.
[theme]
AMANDA: Spirits was created by Amanda McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, and Eric Schneider with music by Kevin MacLeod and visual design by Alison Wakeman.
JULIA: Keep up with all things creepy and cool by following us @SpiritsPodcast on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr. We also have all of our episode transcripts, guest appearances, and merch on our website. As well as a form to send us in your urban legends and your advice from folklore questions at spiritspodcast.com.
AMANDA: Join our member community on Patreon, patreon.com/spiritspodcast, for all kinds of behind-the-scenes goodies. Just $1 gets you access to audio extras with so much more. Like recipe cards with alcoholic and nonalcoholic for every single episode, directors' commentaries, real physical gifts, and more.
JULIA: We are a founding member of Multitude, an independent podcast collective, and production studio. If you like Spirits you will love the other shows that live on our website at multitude.productions.
AMANDA: Above all else, if you liked what you heard today, please text one friend about us. That's the very best way to help keep us growing.
JULIA: Thanks for listening to Spirits. We'll see you next week.
AMANDA: Bye!
Transcriptionist: KA
Editor: KM