Episode 62.5: The Confrontation

This has gone on long enough. We’re getting our Eric back!

Featuring Kristen DeMercurio as the Spagghost. Series written by Eric Silver.

Find Us Online

If you like Spirits, help us grow by spreading the word! Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, & Goodreads, and review us on Apple Podcasts to help new listeners find the show. You can support us on Patreon to unlock bonus audio content, director’s commentaries, custom recipe cards, and so much more. Merch is for sale at spiritspodcast.com/merch.

---

Transcript

AM: Bye, Sponge. I'll be back in the queue for that DMB show. Oh, my god. I know. I love his stage banter.

JS: This is Spirits Episode 62.5: The Confrontation.

AM: Okay. So, quick recap, step one, a pasta ghost stole Eric. Step two, we traveled to Ohio. Yes, actually, Ohio. Step three, we are now outside of the Akron Spaghetti Warehouse. We are here people sneaking our way. I should lower my voice. Sneaking our way inside. Thanks to insider intel.

JS: Step four, we get the ghost to hightail it off this mortal coil. Forever.

AM: Step five, profit – or wait, Julia. Julia, we don’t actually have a plan though.

JS: What, what do you mean? Of course, we have a plan. We're going to kick ethereal butt and send her back to 1890s or whenever, sometime, when they think that medicine was mercury and leeches.

AM: Also, bloodletting. But like how, how are we going to like do that and kick ethereal butt? We are just – we're like – we're normal types. They are ghost types. Observed this pop cultural reference. We like to tackle and we double kick, but, but like those don't work on them. We’ll be like, like Magikarp against them.

JS: Well, for one thing, double kick is a fighting type move.

AM: Oh, my god.

JS: Oh, yeah. I, I hadn't thought about that. We’ll wing it.

AM: Wing it? Just improve a massive drawn-out fight with a ghost from the 1890s. Yeah. Okay. That sounds good. Perfect. We'll just go ahead. Julia, I was – I was being sarcastic. We really do need to --

JS: Hey, ghost lady.

AM: Julia, get down.

Ghost: What was that? Mmm. Nothing will stop us now, husband. We can live together forever in the great yawning realm that will swallow us together. It will be you and me for eternity. Doesn't that sound nice?

ES: I have a girlfriend. This is crazy. Let me go.

Ghost: You're so funny. Teasing me like that. Maybe you’ll get your sense of humor in a few hundred years from now.

AM: We need to know what we're doing, Julia. We can't just run in like that.

JS: I don't know. We’re, we're here. Let's just – let's just – oh man, I don’t – I don't know. Uh. We're toast. What are we doing? We're at a Spaghetti Warehouse and we're not eating pasta. There's a terrible spectral monster out there. This is a nightmare.

AM: Okay. Okay. We, we can figure it out. We just need a think.

JS: No. There's no thinking our way out. It's, it's hopeless. And, shit, it's all my fault.

AM: Jules, no.

JS: If I hadn't been messing around with the Ouija board, this never would have happened. Ever. I, I know better. I just wanted to meet a dead wrestler. That's, that's not a good reason for anything. I'm so stupid. I put all of us in danger.

AM: Julia, come on. That's my favorite part of you.

JS: That I put everyone in danger?

AM: No, only sometimes. It's that you're adventurous. That you do what you want. You take risks. You are courageous, and you're reckless. And it's not always safe. Okay. But like it is so, so fun to be around you. You make me better.

JS: And you make me better. You're reliable and smart and, and always prepared. And --

AM: Go on. Go on.

JS: And you're always prepared. That's it, Amanda.

AM:  Shhh. Shhh.

JS: Give me your bag.

AM: Okay.

JS: Wait. Hold on. How did you fit all of this stuff in here? There's like five outfits, snacks for you and me --

AM: Yeah. We just need a --

JS:  -- a scrapbook for our journey so far.

AM: They’re for memories. Yeah.

JS: You brought the Smartfood popcorn that I like too. Amanda.

AM: Of course, I did babe. I’m a perfect packer.

JS: Oh, nice, toiletries. And --

AM: That's not weird. What do I need to like shape up my undercut on the road? We always got to bring an electric shaver.

JS: Bingo. And I know what to do. Follow my lead. Hey, Marinara Mary.

AM: Hey, hey Alfredo apparition.

JS: Give us our Eric back.

Ghost: Oh, it's you two from before. I thought I got away without any more meddling from you, but this one's mine. And he's not Eric. It's Charles.

JS: Well, what makes you think that that's your husband?

Ghost: I'd recognize this beard anywhere. My husband always kept up with the most modern facial hair fashions of our time.

JS: Yeah, I don't think so. Amanda, hold him down.

AM: You got it.

ES: What? No, Amanda. No, no. What are you doing? Ghost lady. Ghost lady, I need your help. No, my, my dear no.

AM: Ho. All right. Done. Now, Ma'am, Miss, Miss, Miss Ghost, Ghost Lady, Madam, Madam Spectral, Miss, Miss.

JS: Mhmm. Those are all good.

AM: Mrs. Ghost. Miss. I don’t know. Anyway, is, is this your husband?

Ghost: Well, no, it's not. He doesn't look anything like him.

JS: Yeah, we know!

AM: Yeah, we know.

Ghost: Well, I'm terribly embarrassed. I did all that, came through a portal, dragged a human all the way to Ohio. I don't know what I was thinking. I, um, I just miss him so much.

AM: The pasta ghost guy?

Ghost: Well, he was my pasta guy. I'll keep looking. I'm sorry. Again, really, I’ll best be going now. Just one more thing. Don't, don't tell anyone what happened here. Let's keep it quiet. Okay?

JS: Well, we kind of --

Ghost: Well, then I’ll curse you and anyone who hears this story for a hundred years.

AM: Yup. Nope. Sounds good. Got it. No problem. Bye now.

Ghost: Great. Let our paths not cross again.

ES: I can't believe you shaved off my beard. I feel so naked. And I look like I'm 15 again.

AM: Listen, it's, it’s like we met when we were in elementary school. Like Julia and me instead of after college. You look – you look so – you look like an adolescent. No, you're right.

ES: Well, what do we do now?

JS: Well, we have a whole warehouse of spaghetti to go through. Let's see if they have any leftovers in the fridge.

AM: No garlic. No cheese. Extra pasta for me.

JS: Nice.

ES: Hey, it's midnight. It's officially our two-year anniversary.

AM: Guys, I don't know what I would do without you.

JS: Awww.

ES: Disappear into spaghetti hell apparently.

AM: Don't you mean, Spahelli?

JS: Spahelli.

ES: Oh, god, you guys are the worst.

JS: We know.

AM: We love you too.

Transcriptionist: Rachelle Rose Bacharo

Editor: Krizia Casil