Say Hi to Uncle Rob (Ghost) | Your Urban Legends 114
/There’s something about hearing a ghost story told aloud that makes it 1000x scarier! That’s why this episode definitely has us scared! From haunted schools to haunted bedrooms (both in the past and the present!), we’re glad none of our listeners got GOT by ghosts!
Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of fire, death, child death, hospitalization, illness, sexual content, insects, and car accidents.
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Cast & Crew
- Co-Hosts: Julia Schifini and Amanda McLoughlin
- Editor: Bren Frederick
- Music: Brandon Grugle, based on "Danger Storm" by Kevin MacLeod
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions
About Us
Spirits is a boozy podcast about mythology, legends, and folklore. Every episode, co-hosts Julia and Amanda mix a drink and discuss a new story or character from a wide range of places, eras, and cultures. Learn brand-new stories and enjoy retellings of your favorite myths, served over ice every week, on Spirits.
Transcript
[theme]
AMANDA: Welcome to Spirits Podcast, a boozy dive into mythology, legends, and folklore. Every week, we pour a drink and learn about a new story from around the world. I'm Amanda.
JULIA: And I'm Julia. Amanda, I feel like we're coming off of the high of Halloween now. If you are a patron and you heard our bonus Urban Legends episode that came out on Halloween, you might know I was a little burnt out from Halloween this year. But the spooky season continues all the time because this is Spirits Podcast and we're always talking about spooky stuff. So while we had a banger of a extra-large episode for the Halloween season, I'm really excited for this one. I'm back at it. I've taken my little break. I've taken a breather and now I'm like, spooky stories again, please.
AMANDA: And Julia, I prepared for us several voicemails for this episode, several voice notes—
JULIA: Ooh.
AMANDA: —stories told with your mouths here on Spirits. Because I think in this time of year where we're all about to spend some time on the phone with relatives that we may or may not necessarily call the rest of the year.
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: I just want to remind you that you can also call up your spooky bitches and get great stories told to you. And if you are visiting your hometown or talking to folks you haven't talked to in a while, and you're not quite sure what to talk about, except how proud you are of New York City for voting in Zohran Mamdani, our first democratic socialist mayor.
JULIA: Yes.
AMANDA: So excited. We love it.
JULIA: We love it.
AMANDA: I encourage you to just ask somebody, what urban legend did you grow up with?
JULIA: You know what? I almost always forget that November was the season in which we decided to start doing Hometown Urban Legends, and it does—
AMANDA: It sure was.
JULIA: —bring me a lot of joy. I feel like our December one in particular is going to be a banger because it is going to be— everyone went home for the holidays, they reminded themselves what their hometown urban legend was, and now they're writing in. So if you are listening to this, this is your mental reminder to go home, find out your hometown urban legend, and then write in so that we can feature it in our December urban legends.
AMANDA: We're going back to the well, Julia, and we are going to bring up a full pail of spooky shit.
JULIA: Actually, Amanda, because we're talking about this, I'm very excited for the voicemails, but I do want to read a story that was actually submitted by a friend of mine. We're gonna— he's going by A.S., because that's the name he chose for this one.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: But this is from kind of our hometown.
AMANDA: Let's go.
JULIA: So he writes, "Hey guys, longtime listener, first time poster." Extremely funny. He told me ahead of time that he was submitting this, but thank you, I appreciate that.
AMANDA: Just for context, we've known this now man and father since he was 13.
JULIA: Yes, we have. Wild. Okay. "I have many experiences with spooky, paranormal and unexplained things, but my first post, let me tell you about the school that I work at." We love a haunted school. I will say this is not the haunted school that we went to. A different haunted school in the same school district, though.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: "There are many stories about this school. First off, it's over a hundred years old, so of course there are ghosts hanging around. I've been told stories about the man in the black hat. Some of the guys that work at night claim that as they are shutting the lights off of the building to leave for the night, keep in mind, they are alone for this, they will sometimes see a very, very tall, black figure in a black hat walk in front of them from the hallway to the stairwell and disappear."
AMANDA: Hmm.
JULIA: "Most recently, my night guy called me because the fire alarm was going off. It was a mess and the fire department was there. And I asked him to send me pics of what he was doing to remedy the situation so I could guide him through the steps to reset the system. When it was over, he took a picture out the window of the fire trucks as they were leaving. Now keep in mind, he was the only one in the building at the time. And over his left shoulder in the photo were two large figures standing behind him." He goes on to say, "I gave this photo to Julia to share. Please blur out my night guy's face." We won't share it on the pod right now, but I will show it to Amanda so that she can see it.
AMANDA: Whoa! Those are two full silhouettes.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Looking like they are putting their heads together to conspire against this man.
JULIA: It's extremely scary. It's extremely scary.
AMANDA: What the fuck? Julia?
JULIA: I don't like it.
AMANDA: This might be the most haunting image I've seen on the show.
JULIA: Jake also showed it because he sent it to us in a group chat and he said, "Oh, that's fucked."
AMANDA: We're gonna go ahead and put this on the Spirits Instagram, @spiritspodcast. We will put a little heart over the man's face just to give a little levity, but good Lord, those are two distinctive silhouettes.
JULIA: So he continues, "Finally, I'll tell you about my own experience in the school. One night, I had to stay for a fire watch. That's an overnight shift in which the fire alarms aren't working, so we have to walk the school every half hour or so to make sure that no smoke or fires are happening."
AMANDA: Okay, Julia, I had to stop you here. I think that one of the things that Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani can work on here in New York City and the surrounding suburbs, over which he has no jurisdiction but spiritual jurisdiction.
JULIA: Uh-huh.
AMANDA: I think not enough dogs in this economy have jobs.
JULIA: Okay.
AMANDA: If you are saying that you are paying a person to work an overnight shift who typically does not work an overnight shift to literally walk a, I don't know, probably 30,000 square foot suburban high school to make sure there are no fires, when the fire alarms are going maintenance or something.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: That's a job for a dog. I'm sorry, that's a job for a dog. And I think we're robbing dogs of purpose.
JULIA: How do you get the dog to do that, though?
AMANDA: We can run all around and chase a ball. And then if they sniff sniff and then they find the smoke, then they can go over and just bark.
JULIA: Hmm, okay. All right. Do you think we should put like— you know how when they used to do dog races—
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: —they had the little fake rabbit that the dogs would chase around the track?
AMANDA: No, I think you just train the dog, and then the dog gets the frolic, and if they sniff sniff, and they sniff the fire, they're trained to alert to fire.
JULIA: Okay. Interesting. I'm just worried that, like, in the middle of the night, the dog might be like, "And now it's nap time."
AMANDA: But I think the dog will smell the smoke.
JULIA: Hmm. Okay. All right.
AMANDA: Just saying, I— not to, like, rob humans of their jobs, but I think this is a human-dog combination job.
JULIA: Yes, I was going to say maybe the dog can supplement some of the loops—
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: —that this person has to make.
AMANDA: Exactly. I think as we abolish the police, we can retrain good doggos—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —that are currently needing to work for the carceral system instead to work against fires.
JULIA: Agreed. Okay. So, continuing, "I began walking my seventh or eighth time of the night. It was around 2.30 A.M. I start in the second floor, looking in each room, no issues. So I head down to the first floor, same thing, no issues. I head to the lower floor and walk, looking in each classroom, and nothing."
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: "Which is the ideal situation, you know? You don't want to find a fire during this. So I go to finish up this round of walking at the gym. I head up the stairs and round the corner to a long hallway with the gym at the very end of that hallway. I do not have the lights on in the gym, so it is completely dark. I begin walking down the hall, checking the cafeteria, the faculty room, et cetera. Then I get closer to the gym. Now remember, again, I'm the only person in the building. I hear a basketball. Bounce, bounce, bounce."
AMANDA: Oh.
JULIA: "And then I hear what sounds like kids laughing from the gym."
AMANDA: Oh, my God.
JULIA: "At first, I rationalize this to myself, maybe it's coming from outside. But then I realize, it's 2 A.M. There are no kids outside. So I fling open the door and nothing, just still darkness."
AMANDA: I mean, I was a little creeped out, Julia, by even the basketball, which could have fallen off a rack or something or a shelf.
JULIA: But, like, how?
AMANDA: But—
JULIA: Why?
AMANDA: Yeah, exactly, that's creepy. But the kids laughing? Oh, my God.
JULIA: "Needless to say, I removed the gym from my walk for the rest of the night."
AMANDA: It's fine.
JULIA: "Thank you for listening. I'll have more stories to share soon enough."
AMANDA: Hell yes. Excellent job, A. You were present for my only fender-bender when I was listening to Dave Matthews Band so hard that I did not check my blind spot when pulling off of a curb—
JULIA: Classic.
AMANDA: —and did scrape my dad's car a little bit. So I'm glad that our story has come full circle in this way.
JULIA: It really has. Almost 10 years of the pod and it's finally happened.
AMANDA: Julia, that's incredible. And I would like to follow it up with our— I guess A is a mid-millennial. We are not quite elder millennials, we're kind of on the cusp.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: How about a voicemail from an elder millennial?
JULIA: Okay. I'm honestly— I think we're young millennials, Amanda. I think the cutoff's like '95, so we're pretty close.
AMANDA: Here is our voicemail.
SPEAKER 3: Hey, y'all. I am an elder millennial, and my story takes place back in the 1990s, mid-'90s. Now, imagine a completely normal house in the middle of North Carolina, backyard pool, four bedrooms, I think, and mine was tucked away in the back of the house. I was the only person to find this house weird. Two little sisters, mom and dad, everybody thought it was normal. But I would hear my name being called, you know, my mom calling my name from another room. I'd go and say, "Hey mom, what's up?" And she's like, "What? No, I didn't call you." And there were, like, windows out of the house that I couldn't cross at night.
AMANDA: Already, Julia, I'm getting creepy vibes from the middle of North Carolina, where there is famously the research triangle of Durham and two other cities that are not Durham, but it's giving Bermuda—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —triangle already. I'm just— I'm worried.
JULIA: You know, depending on where you are in North Carolina, that can get kind of like woodsy.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: You know? And I think we've had a couple of stories about, you know, weird animal and bird noises coming out of the woods in sort of suburban, sort of rural areas. And I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER 3: I was just very spooked by this house. One day or night, really, imagine a teenage girl's bedroom in 1998. You've got your sun, moon, and stars. You cover it on a twin bed. You've got a wall full of your favorite band's pictures and song lyrics. You've got, you know, posters and books everywhere."
JULIA: You know this bitch loved The Craft.
AMANDA: You know this bitch loved The Craft, Julia. You know there was that poster of The Craft. Like a good eight inches of midriff on that girly right there.
JULIA: 100%.
AMANDA: Incredible. Some jelly bracelets. This is such good word.
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: Picture painting.
SPEAKER 3: My bed was pushed up against a wall with two sides exposed. Oh, and also, importantly, I had a beaded wind— a beaded doorway. I was a very cool kid, obviously. So I waked up to two figures, one at the side of my bed and one at the foot of my bed. They were kind of covered in some sort of cloak or sheet. And I thought, for sure, it was my sisters, because this is what kind of prank they would pull.
JULIA: Doppelgangers. Doppelgangers are bad, Amanda.
AMANDA: Especially in a house with three girls.
JULIA: 100%.
AMANDA: There's like some kind of mathematical relationship where the more sisters you have, the higher the odds that someone is gonna have a doppelganger somewhere in the world.
JULIA: Yeah, anyone who has seen The Conjuring knows that to be true, a 100%.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: The more girls you have in a household, the more haunted it is. Sure.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
SPEAKER 3: So I'm like, "Oh, hey, guys. Funny, haha. Go away." You know, being the oldest, didn't really want to have anything to do with them in the middle of some random-ass night. I close my eyes and turn over, and I do not hear my door. You know, those beaded doorways like, "Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack." And I'm like, "Oh, jeez, younger sisters." I opened my eyes and there's nothing there. I am prone to hypnopompic hallucinations. It's like a dream hallucination, except for instead of in front of you falling asleep, it's behind you falling asleep. But I've never had one like that where I talked back to it and was able to move around. So I don't know quite what was happening there, but as soon as I graduated, I moved as far away as I possibly could. Later, Satyrs.
JULIA: You know, that's like kind of a perfect horror movie setup, you know what I mean?
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: You have a sort of— I'm like creating the moments in my head, like I'm establishing the shots, right?
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: Like you have several instances where you hear the clicky clacking and so you turn and you see someone walking into the room, right? And then you have this situation, they turn over, and you're waiting for the clicky clack, and it never comes. And then they're just gone. Hell yeah, dog. Incredible.
AMANDA: It's a haunting with sound. We know I love it.
JULIA: You love sensory situations, for sure.
AMANDA: Yes. And the other part, Julia, that really got me in this story is that there were figures on both sides of the caller's bed.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Because we are used to like the figure at the end of the bed, the figure next to the bed, maybe the sensation of a pet, right? Like landing on the bed. But two of them blocking you in like this is a traffic stop, I am spooked.
JULIA: Yeah. No, that's not a good situation. And I feel like a lot of times, if you're trying to maximize the space in your room and/or just like in children's bedrooms in general, we would typically put a bed against one wall or, like, in a corner, so it's kind of blocked in by two walls. And I just realized now how scary that can be if you have someone at the foot of the bed and the side of the bed. No way out.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: Just fully no way out.
AMANDA: No way out.
JULIA: Hate that.
AMANDA: Great call. Hate it.
JULIA: Very good. Very, very good.
AMANDA: All right, here's another one. We're going to go into the Monster Man.
JULIA: The Monster Man? Does he do the monster dash?
SPEAKER 4: Hi girls, I wanted to call you guys and let you know a story that I have. So I live here in California, in a little place, a little town, Stockton. So basically— so we moved in and it's been like a couple years. So when we first moved in, I was sleeping in my room alone by myself. And my roommate at the time wasn't home and so I was home alone in the apartment. So basically I was on my phone, it was a cold night, and I had the blanket over me. And as I was going through— I believe at the time it was Instagram or TikTok, I'm not a 100% sure. But basically, I hear a big monster man walk up to my doorway and I hear the big, heavy feet. And then I hear it walk towards my bed, towards my face, and stop literally where my head was. I'm not kidding. I was one of the dumb girls like in the horror movies. I literally threw the blanket off of me and, no joke, there was no one in the room, but I [15:41] everything heard someone coming into my room, walking up to my bed, walking up to my face, and literally standing over me. And I, to this day, don't know what it could have been. And I swear it was something or someone coming into my room. You girls have a nice day and that was my goat story.
AMANDA: It hits so much better when they say it, Julia.
JULIA: It's— they say it, but also it was the like, "This horrifying thing happened to me. Anyway, have a nice day."
AMANDA: "Love you!"
JULIA: "Okay, bye! It's a real, "Happy Halloween, love you, bye," energy. Oh, God.
AMANDA: Happy Halloween, love you, bye.
JULIA: I think particularly something about heavy footsteps as a haunting is very scary because you can feel heavy footsteps. It's not just a kind of sound experience, is you can feel it sort of— even if you don't realize, you can feel it. Like, if you blocked your ears, you still can feel heavy footsteps coming towards you, right? And so at first, I— you know, when the listener was describing the footsteps outside the door, I was almost picturing like in the hallway of an apartment and I'm like, "Yeah, I've been there before."
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: Echoey hallway, you know, you hear footsteps of someone outside. Scary, but like not terrifying. But then the minute that they were like, "And then it came into my bedroom." I'm like, "Well, fuck that, actually. Actually, fuck that."
AMANDA: It's also like— it is— now that I'm thinking about from the first call in a sort of like, you know, teen bedroom in the '90s to now. And so that really is our version of that image of being like in your bed, cuddled up under a blanket, scrolling on your phone. And I can imagine this in my own room as someone starts— you know, I perceive, I think someone's walking toward me. I'd be scared as hell.
JULIA: Yeah. And, you know, there's times where we'll be watching TV in the living room and we have a pretty good sound bar. And, like, you know, there'll be a knock on the TV and I will turn to look and see if there was someone at our door, you know? But on your phone, you're not going to get that kind of bass resonance that will make you be like, "Oh, is it the TikTok video I'm watching or is it the real life?" No, you're— you know if this is real life or not footsteps like that, 100%.
AMANDA: Good stuff.
JULIA: Oof. Oof.
AMANDA: Well, Julia, let's take our own footsteps just to the other side of our virtual shared home and grab a quick refill before we keep going.
JULIA: Let's do it.
[theme]
JULIA: Hey, this is Julia and welcome to the refill. Before we get started, I have to tell you that for the rest of November, our podcast and all of our sister shows at Multitude are offering 30% off annual Patreon and MultiCrew memberships. We are proud to bring you weekly episodes all year long. That means we need your support all year long and an annual membership is a great way to do that. Listen, Black Friday sucks. Money's tight, consumerism's at an all-time high, corporations are pressuring small businesses to juice up their sales around the holidays. But we, like so many other businesses, need your support all year round. So if you're in a position to support us on Patreon, please spend your money where it counts most and sign up for an annual membership and you can get 30% off 12 whole months of support now through the end of November. So head over to patreon.com/spiritspodcast to sign up now. Whether you're annual, monthly, or a free member hoping to support financially one day, that's a wonderful place to keep up with the show. And again, that is patreon.com/spiritspodcast. And if you go over there, you can join the ranks of our new patron, like Just Julie with a Wookie, [19:41] as well as our supporting producer-level patrons like Uhleeseeuh, Hannah, Scott, Anne, Matthew, Rikoelike, Lily, and Wil. And our legend-level patrons,
Audra, Bex, Chibi Yokai, Michael, Morgan H., Captain Jonathan MAL-uh-kye Cosmos, Sarah, and Bea Me Up Scotty. And hey, if you're thinking about gifts to give, and particularly, if you're thinking about giving books to give for the holiday season, we want to tell you about bookshop.org. bookshop.org works to connect readers with independent booksellers all over the world. They believe that local bookstores are essential community hubs that foster culture, curiosity, and a love of reading, and they are committed to helping them thrive. So every purchase on the site financially supports independent bookstores. Their platform gives independent bookstores tools to compete online and financial support to help them maintain their presence in local communities. Don't buy your books from Amazon. Get them from bookshop.org. And if you'd like, you can use code SPIRITS at checkout at bookshop.org. That is code SPIRITS at bookshop.org and get 10% off.
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JULIA: And now, let's get back to the show.
[theme]
JULIA: Amanda, we are back and hey, what's been your drink of choice lately? Amanda, how's it going? What's been your cocktail, mocktail, coffee creation, THC seltzer of choice lately?
AMANDA: I have been continuing with the— did I call it a custom THC seltzer?
JULIA: You did. You did.
AMANDA: Yes. Wherein—
JULIA: Where you just take a gummy and then have a seltzer.
AMANDA: I take a wee gummy and have a seltzer. I have been, Julia, trying really hard to find my ideal ginger seltzer. So far—
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: —my top contender is the Wegmans ginger-flavored seltzer. I love a ginger beer. I love a bite of real ginger. I don't always want to have a full ginger ale. Quite sugary, though. I do love it. So I'm going to grow ginger next year and try to make my own—
JULIA: Ooh.
AMANDA: —fermented ginger ale. But in the meantime, the Wegmans Ginger is really good. Second would be the Polar brand ginger lime.
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: It is definitely less gingery than I would prefer, but is still good. So if anyone out there has recommendations for a ginger or, otherwise, kind of, like, savory seltzer, I could imagine like one with a bit of, like, a thyme, sort of like syrup infusion in there.
JULIA: Oh.
AMANDA: I gotta get my Julia herb infusions on, but that has been my sort of recent snacking imbibing journey.
JULIA: You could always do a Cel-Ray, Amanda. That's always an option.
AMANDA: That— a Cel-Ray is a— hmm. Hmm.
JULIA: Hmm. Hmm.
AMANDA: I was gonna say too sweet, but I think a diluted Cel-Ray over ice might be what I'm looking for.
JULIA: My other suggestion was going to be when we were upstate the last time we were visiting, I got this ginger tonic that—
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: —I will add now to make like a hot tea, essentially, just, like, to—
AMANDA: Ooh.
JULIA: —boiling water, about three-quarters of an ounce into just, like, a coffee cup-sized hot water.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: And it is a banger. So what you could do is essentially take, like, just plain tonic water or plain seltzer and then add a shot of your own ginger tonic, which is super easy to make. It's just like—
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: —lemon, ginger, honey, and then whatever other flavor you want to add to it.
AMANDA: Julia, I should have called you long ago.
JULIA: I'm sorry.
AMANDA: Excellent idea. We're going to do it. How about you? What have you been enjoying recently?
JULIA: I'm doing a lot of wine lately. I feel like when fall and winter hit, I tend to go easier on myself and just like a nice bottle of red wine every once in a while. I did discover a new white wine that I'm kind of obsessed with.
AMANDA: Oh, tell me more.
JULIA: I found a new wine store near me that has a lot of really interesting options. And so the wine that I've been really enjoying, I'll make two recommendations for the folks at home, one red, one white. The red that I'm really enjoying right now is a Spanish red blend called Almodi Petit. Extremely good, it's like very cranberry and like tart cherry sort of flavors. I really like that for a red wine particularly. And then the other one that I enjoy is a white wine. It's a white blend. It's called Soulgraphie, so S-O-U-L-G-R-A-P-H-I-E. And that is, like, very sort of
Granny Smith green apple flavor, but also like a little on the funky side. I really, really dig it. It's pretty fantastic.
AMANDA: Tart and funk is the Julia way.
JULIA: Tart and funk, that's how we roll. Amanda, how about I share another urban legend? This one is from FlyerPie, [25:05] she/her.
AMANDA: Love it.
JULIA: And the email is titled I've Been Adopted By Ghost Children.
AMANDA: Okay, okay. We don't often see the reverse adoption by ghost children of a living person. Let's go.
JULIA: So Flyerpie, [25:19] you might remember from a previous urban legend where she accidentally created a theater ghost named Eleanor. [25:26]
AMANDA: Incredible.
JULIA: She says, "Yes, I do have an update on her, but today I have another story and it's fresh as in it happened this week and this was late October. So here we go. First, a little background. I live in a very old house. It was built over a 120 years ago and it sits on land that used to be an 11-room tavern." Already going to be haunted.
AMANDA: Oh, shit.
JULIA: Already going to be haunted.
AMANDA: Oh, my God. Yes.
JULIA: "We purchased the home from the descendants of the original family that built it so we get all the lore and all the ghost stories straight from the source."
AMANDA: Oh, my God. I didn't know that I fantasized about living in a former tavern, but that's what I want.
JULIA: "The family that built the home is Catholic." Word.
AMANDA: That was implied.
JULIA: You just have to assume. "Across the street, I have the very first chapel where the family met for worship. In my side yard, I have the first Catholic church the family built for the community. Neither is used anymore other than for storage and good stories. Not being Catholic myself, I have to rely on their good authority that the children buried in my front yard couldn't be buried in the Catholic cemetery up the hill because they died before they had been baptized in the church."
AMANDA: I take it back, I don't want to live in a former tavern.
JULIA: Well, listen, a former tavern does not guarantee that there's also a Catholic cemetery and then a non-Catholic cemetery for the unbaptized people.
AMANDA: You're right, you're right. I don't need to give up on my whole dream. I'm just gonna say I don't wanna live in this particular tavern, but I'm very glad that you do.
JULIA: That's fair. And then the next line is, "Yes, you read that right. Under the tree in the front yard of my house, I have the bones of three infant children. I believe houses have personality and feelings. My house is happy. And the ghosts that live here seem to be happy, too. Uncle Rob," in parentheses, "(ghost)."
AMANDA: Just like I have Uncle Danny, Little Danny, and Big Danny, our three—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —different related men in my family. We, of course, have Uncle Rob (ghost) and presumably Uncle Rob (living).
JULIA: "So Uncle Rob (ghost) hosts poker parties in the kitchen and someone (ghost) plays beautiful music like a music box on the all-season porch. Grandma Rosie (ghost) keeps my three orchids alive and blooming in the sunroom, despite my inability to garden anything."
AMANDA: Oh.
JULIA: "Now until now, the children have been quiet, just bones in the front yard. The closest room to their resting place is our library. My partner and I used this for our home office. Last week, I needed to print something to take it to a meeting. I was running late, so I hit print and ran off to make coffee. I came back, grabbed the print, shoved it in my bag, and went to my meeting. When I pulled the print out of my bag, I noticed some faint writing in the margin."
AMANDA: What?
JULIA: "It looked like maybe something had been written on the back of the page and was bleeding through, so I flipped the paper over. Sure enough, there on the back in children's handwriting and colorful marker are the words, Happy Mother's Day."
AMANDA: What the fuck, Julia?
JULIA: What's up, Amanda? What's going on?
AMANDA: I have literal chills. My sphincters are sphinctering.
JULIA: Your sphincters sphinctering?
AMANDA: I am— wow, the ghost kids really said, "Let me just make you a cute, little card." Because this is not— your partner didn't scribble down a phone number when, like, on the phone, like writing a note, it wasn't like the back of a shopping list. This is presumably in the middle of a ream of paper that came from the paper mill.
JULIA: Uh-huh.
AMANDA: Or it was a ghost.
JULIA: It gets better.
AMANDA: No, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm ready, please.
JULIA: "In children's handwriting, colorful marker, the words Happy Mother's Day. But that didn't seem to be what I was seeing on the front of the paper. The colors and the words didn't line up. So I flipped it back over and took a closer look. The front of the paper looks like it was written in pastel crayons. It says, 'Mother, you're the angel who brought me into.' Setting aside the fact that the term mother is possibly the creepiest thing a kid can call their mom."
AMANDA: Yep.
JULIA: "I don't have any children living in my home right now. All my kids are grown up and out of the house, age 25, 22, 21, and 19. Not only that, but I haven't had any small children visit my home in well over a year. The final nail in the coffin, pun intended, is the fact that I haven't refilled the printer paper in about two weeks. I print things only occasionally at home and not in large quantities, so it takes a while to empty the stack of paper. That means this sheet has been in my printer for well over a week now, in the middle of the stack of paper. Short of there being some quality control issues at the paper factory, I have to assume that the children in my front yard are trying to send me a message. It seems they have adopted me. We're going to have to convince them to find another term of endearment, though." She continues, "I do have a picture of the house decorated for spooky season if you want to see it. So hit me up via email and I'll send it over to you along with the pics of the ghost kids' scribbling."
AMANDA: I need to see this.
JULIA: We will respond to this so we can get— we can see the pictures.
AMANDA: Holy shit. That is so scary.
JULIA: Holy shit. Holy shit. I hate that.
AMANDA: Also, what an incredible—
JULIA: I gotta say.
AMANDA: —way to prank someone is to write in the middle of the stack of paper in their printer tray—
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: —and then, like, you don't know when it's gonna hit.
JULIA: Listen, I'm not saying that's what happened. I want to believe that these ghost children have adopted you and are making this happen [31:20]
AMANDA: Oh, yeah. Separately, also good [31:21]
JULIA: But honestly, yeah. Yeah. So if you want to do that, April Fools is a long way away, but—
AMANDA: I mean, start planning now.
JULIA: —start planning now.
AMANDA: —depending on how often you print.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Wow, that is so scary.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: Also, respectfully, I want to see your entire home. I'd love to see, like, any picture of your home, because it sounds amazing.
JULIA: Absolutely.
AMANDA: I mean, it's implied that they're saying, "You got me into heaven," right?
JULIA: I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I guess so, right?
AMANDA: You're the angel who brought me into—
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: —heaven.
JULIA: Yeah. "Mother, you're the angel who got me into—"
AMANDA: Heaven, yeah.
JULIA: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know, Amanda. I don't know.
AMANDA: I—
JULIA: Would they be— but would they be leaving messages if they got into heaven?
AMANDA: I think they— yeah. I think they were like liberated from— you know, if you're in this cosmology—
JULIA: Liberated.
AMANDA: —whatever, like purgatory, you know, the unbaptized are in. And then—
JULIA: Oh, yeah, good point.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: I forgot about the unbaptized purgatory situation in Catholicism.
AMANDA: It's not our worldbuilding, that's okay. And then— I mean, now they get to— you know, they get to frolic or maybe they got to sort of leave a message on their way up.
JULIA: Very possible. Very possible.
AMANDA: Wow. Astonishingly creepy.
JULIA: Wow.
AMANDA: That's a good one.
JULIA: Dang, dude.
AMANDA: That's an all-timer.
JULIA: Hell yeah.
AMANDA: Hoo!
JULIA: Hoo!
AMANDA: I have another voicemail here that I titled Grandma's Angels.
JULIA: Uh-oh.
AMANDA: Which sounds like a good pairing. Let's get going.
SYDNEY: Hi, Julia. Hi, Amanda. My name is Sydney [32:44] and I am going to tell you my story, I'm calling Grandma's Angels. When I was younger, my sweet Grandma Judy told me how she knew angels were real. It was many years ago when my dad was a young boy. My grandpa had to go in for a heart procedure, non-specified. My grandmother told me that something went wrong. Again, a non-specific wrong. And my grandpa was dying. During the chaos of nurses and doctors working to save him, my grandma saw a nurse come in who she had never seen before. The nurse touched his face and his heart and then walked out of the room. After the mystery nurse had left, my grandpa was miraculously cured. He was fine.
AMANDA: Love a ghost nurse.
JULIA: Classic. Oh, in this case, it might be an angel nurse, but I'm into it.
AMANDA: Yes. It is— you're right. This is specifically the angel. I cannot think of a human profession that I would more want at my side than a nurse.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: Like maybe a stage manager. You know, just depending on the situation, a librarian, but like I'm gonna say like I'm voting for the nurse 10 times out of 10.
JULIA: Before we continue, I recently had a conversation with— actually the friend that wrote in for our first story, about—
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: —who in our friend group we think could survive a horror movie.
AMANDA: Oh, good.
JULIA: And we kind of decided it was between myself, his wife, who is a nurse, and then our other friend, who is a full-ass doctor. And I was like, "Yeah, I mean, one of us would make it to the end." And I was joking around being like, "I think part of it is I would make it to the end, but then I would die in the sequel, a la Jamie Kennedy in the Scream series.
AMANDA: Sure, yeah.
JULIA: And I was like, "I'm okay with that. I'm too genre aware to really be in the movie for too long— or the franchise for too long."
AMANDA: Well, you'd, obviously, be a favorite final girl and then you're, you know, brought back for the sequel, but they kill you right away to show that they mean business. You know?
JULIA: They Drew Barrymore me.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: Yeah, for sure.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
SYDNEY: Grandma knew from this interaction that the nurse was an angel sent from heaven and God wanted my grandpa to stay longer here on Earth to be with his family. My grandmother passed this story down to me and her son passed away many years ago now, but I still remember the story. I thought it was beautiful.
AMANDA: Can I just say? If this was my family at least—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —it would be maybe two weeks before someone said, "God didn't put you back on this earth to not take the trash out, Joe. God didn't save you for you to forget to bring the milk home."
JULIA: Yeah. I'd give it a month in my family, but I feel I feel you there, for sure.
AMANDA: Yeah, we get there.
SYDNEY: While reminiscing about her with my parents this summer, I recounted the story thinking that my dad would know exactly what I was talking about. Turns out grandma never told this story to anyone else but me. My other family members had no idea what I was talking about, but fully agreed that this seemed like a very Grandma Judy story to tell. Did my grandma really see an angel or a helpful spirit who healed my grandpa at a time of need? Was that just a nurse who walked in and did her job? Was she just telling me a wild story she made up to go along with her extensive angel figurine collection? I'm not really sure. I'm not really sure that I care to know, but I'm grateful for the sweet moment I shared with my grandma, no matter how true or false it may be. Stay creepy, stay cool. Thank you guys.
JULIA: Grandma Judy seems wild. I'm such a fan of Grandma Judy.
AMANDA: I'm a fan. May I say, Julia? My grandma has been known to tell my siblings and me out of pocket stories that she never told her children.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: I think because by the time us grandkids were grown, she's like, "It's fine." Like, I'm [36:13] you know, that's okay." And I can only hope to be an elder, you know, get to that phase of my life, but also an elder that can just say to people, "You know how this used to be."
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: And I just can't wait for that.
JULIA: The only grandma lore that I've unlocked recently from my grandma was we were sitting with her and she— I don't even remember why this came up in the first place, but she said, "You know, I was a virgin when I got married," and my mom was sitting right next to me. And she said, "Well, I wasn't." And I said, "Neither was I." And Jake said, "What do you mean?" And I said, "No." It was just very funny. He misunderstood what I was talking about, but it was just a real funny moment, for sure.
AMANDA: It's really good.
JULIA: Just immediately my mom goes, "I wasn't." Fuck, Jesus.
AMANDA: Oh, incredible.
JULIA: Jeez. Anyway—
AMANDA: [37:06] damn.
JULIA: Amanda, I have one more email submitted for us here. This is from Anna Lee, [37:14] titled Southern Arizona and a Woman in White.
AMANDA: Okay.
JULIA: A classic.
AMANDA: Hits different in the desert, man.
JULIA: "Hey, Spirits. I've been listening for years. I think I found you guys first sometime in 2018, but the strings of time have become tangled beyond my abilities to untangle them."
AMANDA: Well said.
JULIA: "Let's just say you've been my companions for long desert drives, cozy gaming sessions, and many showers while home alone. Yes, that sounds weird. Both because you didn't know you were there and that I enjoy listening to spooky things while showering home alone."
AMANDA: I'm fully with that.
JULIA: "I'll add that I was home alone in a living person sense as I'm pretty sure the house that I previously lived in was haunted. But that's another story."
AMANDA: Okay. So you end the ghosts were listening to spirits, which honestly, that just means that you're maximizing the value of each download, so thank you.
JULIA: Exactly. "I'm writing because my favorite episodes are the hometown urban legends episodes and I realized recently that my hometown and home state seem to be missing, and I am in the position to remedy that. I grew up in a smaller city in Cochise County, which is in the southern eastern corner of Arizona. I had many strange experiences that I can't quite explain throughout my childhood and adolescence, and they really weren't that uncommon. This is Apache territory, and the county was named after one of their most notorious chiefs. Everyone who grew up in the area has a ghost story or can tell you about a ghost story that they heard from a family member or a close friend. Some of my earliest memories are eavesdropping on my mom telling her ghost stories and legends to anyone who came over. My mother was born in the '50s and her family moved to the area in her teens when my grandpa was stationed at the army base that is right next to my hometown of Sierra Vista. She had a wild time and it's always been difficult equating those images with the mother that I have always known, but who wants to think of their parents being wild?"
AMANDA: Apparently, your mom at any opportunity to tell you that she wasn't a virgin when she got married.
JULIA: I think she was just like, "Shut up, Joyce." "I would overhear these stories when the adults would stay up late and I'd been put to bed. No one ever knew that I suffered from a bit of insomnia and probably had a lot of FOMO, so I would listen to the conversations from my bed down the hall. Here's one of the stories that I heard the most."
AMANDA: Hmm. What a beautiful frame narrative for telling us this story. Thank you so much.
JULIA: "Charleston Road stretches through the desert between Sierra Vista and Tombstone. Yes, that Tombstone coined the town too tough to die and home of the infamous shootout at the O.K. Corral."
AMANDA: Hmm.
JULIA: "The real life location of the 1933 film was based on. Just a hop, skip, and jump away." One of my favorite movies, actually. I'm not a huge Western person, but Tombstone is like the one exception that I make because, man, Val Kilmer is good in that movie.
AMANDA: I've never seen it. We'll have to add it to our list.
JULIA: Amanda, you're gonna love it. Anyway, "If you drive down Charleston Road on a quiet night, you'll come across a woman in white on the side of the road. As with how this myth always goes, if you stop and offer a ride, she'll get in and after some time, everyone in the car will swear that she was just there in the seat, but she will have disappeared. However, if you don't stop for her, she will still appear in your car, usually in the back seat. The shock of her appearance is said to lead to many accidents along this stretch of road. Now, I've done research on this myth, and aside from similar stories, it seems Charleston Road may have been mistaken for the Devil's Highway or El Camino del Diablo, which also crosses through Cochise County. The original name was Highway 666."
AMANDA: Nice.
JULIA: "This is 100% true. It was renamed in the early 1990s and 2000s to US-191 in Arizona—"
AMANDA: Come on.
JULIA: "—and US-491 in New Mexico because of the obvious connection to the number of the beast, but also because the signs were often stolen."
AMANDA: Oh, okay. All right. That is—
JULIA: That's a good [41:28]
AMANDA: That is a practical reason to rename it. Yeah.
JULIA: "The myths surrounding this highway include a phantom semi-truck that would speed up behind your vehicle and threaten to plow you over, forcing you to pull off the road only for there not to be any other vehicle on the road when you pulled over."
AMANDA: Wow.
JULIA: "Ghost hitchhikers like the woman in white, UFOs with reports of lost time, and demonic hellhounds with glowing eyes that appear suddenly and shred your tires before disappearing." Classic.
AMANDA: Oh.
JULIA: Well, like, you know, if your—
AMANDA: Wow.
JULIA: —tire is overinflated or if you, like, hit something like metal that can really, like, tear up your tire and make it seem like it was attacked when it was just— you're going at speed and rubber don't keep well together at some times. She continues, "The desert can play tricks on your mind on a good day with every mesquite tree looking like the last, but when the sun sets on a long, quiet, and lonely drive down a desert highway, you better be armed with your favorite creepy but cool podcast to keep away the lady in white and all of her hellpuppers. Stay creepy, stay cool, Anna Lee." [42:37]
AMANDA: Oh, Anna Lee, so perfect.
JULIA: What a banger, you know? Just a classic, you know? There's something really nice about the classic abandoned highway kind of vibe and all of the ghosts that may or may not be there when there's no other witnesses.
AMANDA: And ,Julia, I don't think that it has occurred to me before that the hitchhiker figure is kind of, like, a modern hospitality legend.
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: We talk often about particularly around the Fae and passing travelers, comes up with Yokai sometimes as well. It's really universal that, you know, you're meant to give help to people in need. And sometimes the myths reward you for doing that. Sometimes they punish you for doing—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —that because it's an inversion on, you know, normal societal standards. But this is—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —really fascinating because it's like she's going to make it into your car whether you want her to or not.
JULIA: I also think that's interesting because I think if we're going by that standard, right, of hitchhiking and allowing— like giving help to someone in need is the thing you're supposed to do. That definitely swapped around to, like, '80s and '90s.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: Where it was like, "Oh, stranger danger. Like, don't pick up hitchhikers. Hitchhiking is extremely dangerous. You never know who that person could be or vice versa, don't hitchhike because you never know who the person picking you up is going to be. So I think that there is a certain level of like, "Ah, now, the hitchhiker is dangerous and you definitely shouldn't pick up this woman who's going to cause you to get into an accident in the first place."
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: So I love the inversion of the story, might be one of those situations where it's like, "Oh, you dared to pick up a hitchhiker? Well, now, she's a fucking ghost and you're in an accident."
AMANDA: Exactly. The last—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —30 to 40 years have had a lot of, you know, society getting more insular, more suspicious, more—
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: —individualistic.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: And I think we see that reflected in our urban legends.
JULIA: Look at that, Amanda. We did a little bit of anthropology, a little bit of historiography while we're here.
AMANDA: Little analysis, mwa, just a bit. Julia, let's give folks a wholesome button to end this episode on, shall we?
JULIA: Yes. This is the one that you can take back to your family members this month and tell them this at the— your Thanksgiving or whatever holiday that you're celebrating.
AMANDA: Let’s do it.
BETTY: Hi, Amanda and Julia. My name is Betty. [44:52] I wrote in a while back about my mom and her wholesome urban legends that she made us as a kid. And one of the ones that I wrote in about was how she would— or how she hid nickels under cicada shells because of the story my brother made up."
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: I remember this so much, it's so good.
BETTY: Well, a couple months ago, I was visiting my parents at home and there was a cicada, and she had put a nickel under it. Unfortunately, I didn't find it before my dad picked up the nickel, but she did tell me about it and I just wanted to share that with you because I thought it was sweet.
JULIA: That is so adorable. I, like, teared up a little thinking about it. And also—
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: —it's so funny that the dad was not in on it and he was like, "Oh, a fucking nickel. Great."
AMANDA: "A nickel, nice." So good. So cute. Your mom is so sweet. Thank you for sharing that with us.
JULIA: She like— she didn't tell him like, "Steve, Steve, Steve."
AMANDA: "Not today. Okay?"
JULIA: "Not today. It's for the kids."
AMANDA: "I keep telling you, when it's a nickel and when it's under a cicada shell, it's for our kid."
JULIA: "I did it for a reason." That's so cute.
AMANDA: Incredible.
JULIA: Dang. Honestly, that is also— I forgot how cute that one is, and I really love that you're taking something which a lot of people find creepy. I think cicada shells are extremely cool.
AMANDA: Me, too.
JULIA: Just seeing the husk of an animal is extremely cool.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: But taking something that is kind of creepy and making it into, like, a fun, little treat for your kids to normalize it, I think that's adorable.
AMANDA: Amazing. Well, folks, safe travels and happy trails this month if you are celebrating a holiday that requires it. Otherwise, you know where we're going to be, keeping the spooky season active all year round, bringing you new episodes every dang Wednesday. And in the meantime, next time you see a nickel glinting out under the husk of an animal, remember—
JULIA: Stay creepy.
AMANDA: —stay cool.
JULIA: Later, Satyrs.