Episode 58: Your Urban Legends V
/You sent us some great stories this week: protective women spirits, murderous otters, toe-crunching bear grannies, and so many more! Amanda explains what the ideal ghost roommate would be like. Julia pitches an article series on accidentally dating cryptids. Eric grapples with what it would be like to have a ghost host. We all argue over horrifying ways one can incorporate chicken legs into your look.
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Transcript
AM: Welcome to Spirits Podcast, Episode 58: Your Urban Legends, Part V
JS: We're back, y'all.
AM: We're back. Less about spaghetti. So in case, the last episode wasn't your thing. Here we are again with more stories.
JS: But who doesn't like spaghetti?
AM: I don't know. It's my least favorite pasta, I think.
JS: What?! Why?!
AM: Julia looks really betrayed for a second.
JS: Why?! Why is it your least favorite pasta?
AM: It doesn't hold sauce very well, and it's, it's like complicated to eat. She's just shaking her head sadly.
JS: I don't believe this. This is the end of our friendship. [inaudible 0:28] You're very good live on the podcast.
AM: Do you know whose friendship we haven't ended?
JS: Our new patrons.
AM: Our new patrons that's just started.
JS: Yeah!
AM: Welcome to Lisa, Sharyl, Connor, Willard, and Laura. Thank you so, so much for joining us on Patreon. And as always, our supporting producer level patrons. Neal, Chandra, Philip, Julie, Sara, Josh, Eeyore, Mercedes, Sandra, Robert, Lindsey, Phil, Catherine, Ryan, and Debra.
JS: I'm not gonna lie. It's been a while since we recorded this episode, and I don't remember any of the stories we did. So I can't give our patrons a wonderful thing that they are.
AM: They are the like, they are the New Year Ball confetti of our hearts.
JS: Okay, that's fair. That's a good one.
AM: As our, our legend two level patrons, LeAnn, Erin, Ashley, Shannon, Cammie, Cassie, AshleyMarie.
JS: Yay!
AM: Welcome.
JS: Thank you AshleyMarie for distinguishing yourself from the other Ashley, we appreciate it.
AM: That was Ashley's username. I don't know if that's what they go by in everyday life. But we are going to call you AshleyMarie until told otherwise. And yeah, thank you so much for joining us. over on Patreon, we have a very funny goal inspired by our last Hometown Episode to go to Akron, Ohio, and visit the Spaghetti Warehouse, which I really wanna do.
JS: We're actually getting kind of close to that goal.
AM: We are.
JS: Are we like, less than $300 away from Spaghetti Warehouse at this point?
AM: Yes, we are. We are.
JS: That's insane.
AM: And Julia is going to be very close to visiting Ohio for the first time.
JS: Guys, I don't. I was, I was about to say I don't know if I want to go to Ohio. But if you guys are paying for it, I'll go anywhere you want.
AM: We would also like to thank this week, Audible for sponsoring us again, you can visit audible.com/spirits or new, new uh-uh thing alert here you can text the word Spirits to 500 500 for a 30-day trial and your first book is free with audible.
JS: That's super cool.
AM: I know!
JS: I love it. I love being able to text Audible and get free stuff from it. [inaudible 2:15]
AM: I know, occasionally on the subway like the, the you know, LTE will be spotty but your texts will be fine so you can text it and then get the URL that you can then open later when you get LTE service.
JS: There you go, so easy.
AM: Love it. And Jules, what were you drinking during this episode?
JS: I got a coffee from Starbucks around the corner because it was very cold outside.
AM: Yes.
JS: And then I dumped a bunch of brandy into it.
AM: You did.
JS: I did indeed.
AM: It foamed weirdly.
JS: It foamed weirdly.
AM: Like Aphrodite's birth story.
JS: Yes.
AM: Hey!
JS: Creepy foam. Love it.
AM: And I was drinking Bullet, which is my Christmas present for my dad literally like more than a liter of Bullet.
JS: It was really impressive.
AM: It's the biggest glass bottle I've ever owned, I'm very excited about it. In apple cider because fall never ends in the McLoughlin household.
JS: I'm actually excited for you to finish that bottle and then see what you do with it because you're very crafty.
AM: Yeah, I uhh... I am considering many possibilities. I don't want to commit too early.
JS: Okay. Solid choice, there is still like, five-sixth of that bottle left.
AM: Don't judge me It may be over sooner than you expect.
JS: I'm not judging, I would never judge.
AM: I know. We don't really do January but uh, but good luck to those who are.
JS: Do not do January.
AM: Happy New Year to all of our listeners.
JS: Happy New Year, guys. I am just super excited, and I hope that your new year is just a 1000x better than the last one. I don't care if you had a good year or not.
AM: Yep.
JS: A thousand times better than last year.
AM: It won't be that hard to achieve, like three orders of magnitude change in how good your year is, I believe in you.
JS: Yes, we do.
AM: As a reminder on Friday, our new podcast begins. It's called Waystation: A Lost Girl FanCast. And Jules and I are just so excited to bitch about wigs and, and costumes--
JS: Just so many wigs.
AM: -- just way more than we usually do.
JS: Oh, God, it's going to be so good. Actually, a lot of you are super excited about the podcast already.
AM: Yeah!
JS: And that makes us excited.
AM: I know it does and especially If you subscribe now, it'll help us on that first day that the new episode comes out to really, you know, rocket up the charts to the extent that we can to get some attention and get some momentum. It's more exciting to do podcasts when there are people listening, which is why we're very thankful for you. And also, I would love for you to check out Waystation. You don't have to know the show. You don't have to like the show. We are kind of iffy on both, but it's going to be a really good opportunity to, to watch stuff with people you like, and to sort of focus on something fun for you know, 45 minutes every other week.
JS: Yeah, and I think we should spell that for folks.
AM: Yes.
JS: So, W-A-Y-S-T-A-T-I-O-N. Just search that in your podcatcher and you'll find us.
AM: Waystation because Eric is good at SEO.
JS: Yes, just find it. It's all one word. You're great. We love you.
AM: We do love you and we hope that you enjoy Spirits Podcast, Episode 58: Your Urban Legends Part V.
Intro Music
AM: Hey, Hi, Hello, and welcome to our Fifth Edition of Hometown Urban Legends. This is Order the Phoenix, Order of the Urban Legends where I'm very angsty. We have all sort of decided to like, find deeper relationships in our lives. I rediscover a godparent and know I had, there's a fight in the mirrored hallway and a government bureaucracy, a lot going on.
JS: You're putting a lot on this episode.
E. Schneider: I also think that that's the quickest we've got into a Harry Potter reference. Like, just off the gate.
JS: Yeah, it is 100%.
AM: It's a Harry Potter cold open.
JS: I actually just wanted to spend like a minute saying how much I enjoy doing these.
AM: Oh, yeah.
JS: I just listened to the one that's going to come out this way, not the Wednesday that these listeners are going to hear this episode, obviously.
AM: A month ago.
JS: But a month ago, basically. We're recording this a month before this comes out.
AM: Time is a construct.
JS: But guys, I just love doing these. I love having Eric and telling stories. I think our dynamic is a lot of fun when we do that.
AM: Me too. It's very exciting for me, personally because I met Eric on YouTube. What? Like, seven years ago by this point? I think.
E. Schneider: Possibly longer.
AM: Something crazy like that, possibly longer, I know. Maybe, maybe even eight or nine. But it was always so different like, my social circles IRL and on YouTube, and all my YouTube friends knew very little about my you know, IRL friends and vice versa. And so for my you know, best friend from kindergarten and fr- I mean, for Eric, who is one of my very, very best friends in the world today happened to meet online to, you know, now for the three of us to like, meet every month and talk about people's urban legends like I don't know, it's just it's my favorite thing.
E. Schneider: It's a lot of fun. It's like sitting around a campfire every month.
JS: It is.
AM: That's true. And we have boozy coffee and boozy booze to go along with it.
JS: Yeah, I put rum in my coffee and I don't know, but it's making me emotional. I don't know why.
AM: Oh, no!
JS: [inaudible 6:45] episode time!
E. Schneider: [inaudible 6:45]
AM: Oh, boy. Well, why don't you lead off our emotive queen?
JS: You got it. The first listener story that we're going to read is from Jesse, and Jesse writes in, "Urban Legend? The Chicken Footed Lady." when I heard your episode about urban legends and made me recall one that my dad had told me when I was younger. It gave me nightmares and I often thought about it when I was out camping in the woods. So a good start so far.
AM: Let's do it, fam.
JS: When he went to military school in Tennessee, where the boys went on morning hikes, they ran across a tree that looked like lightning had hit it burning out the bottom of it. According to my dad, it had looked like someone had had a barbecue in it. Fair enough. My dad was younger at this point, and the older boys told him that what caused it was someone called, The Chicken Footed Lady. According to dad today, "I don't know how much about The Chicken Footed Lady except the fact that she has chicken feet."
AM: Okay. Cool. I accept.
JS: However, upon recollection, he remembered that he assumed later the older boys had placed animal bones in the burnt-out tree stumps. It was said that this forest witch would cook and eat children who became lost in the forest.
AM: Yes.
JS: That in fact, he said you could go into the forest and find a few of those tree stoves scattered across the wilderness. The charred bones marking stumps as places where The Chicken Footed Lady had been.
AM: Oh my god.
JS: It's really good so far.
AM: Tree stoves, I love it.
JS: Jesse writes, "I decided to look further into this much to dismay and surprise, there was no prominent urban legend in Tennessee about something like this, but there was the Baba Yaga.
AM: Baba Yaga returns!
JS: Who has accounts of being described with chicken legs or just a singular chicken leg or the singular chicken.
AM: Oh!
JS: [inaudible 8:45]
AM: Wait, wait, wait. Okay, let’s pause. One leg?
JS: W--
AM: And that leg is chicken leg?
JS: A pseudo chicken leg.
AM: Oh, no!
JS: No, I'm not sure if that means that she has one leg and kind of hops around.
AM: That's what we're asking, Julia, it's very important.
JS: Well, they don't specify.
AM: Or one human, one chicken leg.
JS: I think might be one human, one chicken leg?
AM: We have to know. Jesse, please talk to whoever you have to talk to you and get back to us.
JS: I-I-I need to know. So described with chicken legs or just a singular chicken leg. Still not sure which like, variety that is.
AM: Because just to dig into this image a little bit. I see Julia, the your look of disappointment as I cut you off once more.
JS: So close to finishing scene now.
AM: Welcome to our friendship. One singular chicken leg would be an adorable pogo stick. But one chicken, one human--
JS: No, don't, don't pretend that if you saw someone with a singular chicken leg, you wouldn't be terrified of that. Because you would!
AM: No! I'd be like cool, what's your story?
JS: Uhhh... no!
AM: Yes, I would.
E. Schneider: I… no, I mean, I would definitely be more scared of someone with a human leg and a chicken leg than one chicken leg.
AM: It's like an ominous limb.
E. Schneider: Because there's nothing disjointed about it. It's, it's extremely strange. I would not like it by any means, but I-I would understand... chicken leg.
AM: What's happening?
E. Schneider: Once you've got two different species on there.
JS: I cannot get behind you on this.
E. Schneider: on there. That's a, that's a different game.
JS: But it already is two different species. Because it's one chicken leg and then a human body.
AM: I know, but...
JS: It's not like the rest of it is chicken.
E. Schneider: That's not evenly distributed. It's about symmetry.
AM: Exactly. Like, like, like a centaur you're like okay, human from belly up, horse from neck down. Let's not talk about the innards and the organs. It's a little bit complicated.
JS: Yeah.
AM: But like that, you can wrap your head around. But like a Griffin or Hippogriff, or some of those freakin’ horrible monsters you've described to me in the past? No, I don't want some kind of like tie-dye effect of like you throw a bunch of animal parts into a food processor and then what comes out is some unholy terror.
JS: The Chicken Footed Lady was described as being wicked in some folklore. Also, the Baba Yaga described as wicked and some folklore, Jesse making a point. So they say I suspect this might be a tiny bit misremembered, or there might be some truth than I realized. There might be some more truth than Jesse realizes. They finish with Tennessee has its fair share of witches and spirits, but to think that Baba Yaga is among them or was in the past is nice. It's enjoyable to see how far legends and folklore can travel and change.
AM: For sure.
JS: Yeah.
AM: That's awesome. Someone's grandma fills their head with, you know, stories of Baba Yaga something creepy happens in the woods and this is the kind of thing that happens, you know?
JS: Yeah.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
AM: As a result.
JS: That's like the idea of like old-world stuff coming over to America. It's literally what Neil Gaiman's American Gods it's about and it's wonderful.
AM: It sounds American Gods-ish. We love it. So I have an email here from Annie who writes in that she is a high school student in small-town Alaska. So A. I'm already very interested. I think Alaska is fascinating, and I watch all of the Alaska TV shows. So...
JS: All of them?
AM: All of them.
JS: How [inaudible 11:40]
E. Schneider: Every single one.
AM: Like four, actually. There's, there's very many.
JS: There's, there's one good Alaska show that I remember watching at 1 AM when I was in college.
AM: Checks out.
JS: And it was about buying property in Alaska.
AM: Yes.
JS: And those would vary greatly where it's like, oh, this is a two-bedroom, two-bathroom house.
AM: Yeah.
JS: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then there would be like, this is a shack and there's a toilet outside.
AM: Yeah, wish list is like, indoor plumbing.
JS: Yeah.
AM: Yeah, I can see you and Jake being on that show just becoming wi... like, wildly different ideas of what is required. Anyway, But Annie writes in with a story that isn't quite an urban legend but an urban cryptid
JS: Huh! Yes, tell me more!
AM: I know you’d like this one. It's called the Kushtaka, and it's a staple at campfires. It's often talked about when our middle school has it's a survival trip. Which, okay, let's just suspend for a second--
JS: No, no, no!
AM: -- and get through.
JS: I wish we had survival trips back in high school, that sounds dope as hell.
AM: The refrain for the story is life is different in Alaska. Okay, so every year since the 1970s, children will do a unit on surviving in school.
JS: Make sense.
AM: Amazing, and then go into the Alaskan Wilderness.
JS: Cool.
AM: They go on a three-night trip to an uninhabited island with whatever gear and food they can fit into a one-pound coffee can--
JS: What?!
AM: -- a tarp and some rope.
JS: That's amazing!
AM: Let's just pause and think about that for a second.
JS: I love it so much.
E. Schneider: That's, that’s not a lot for a middle schooler.
JS: No, it's not.
AM: No. Like, I-I eat a pound of food like as an afternoon snack.
E. Schneider: What are you snacking on?
JS: Lots of [inaudible 13:08]
AM: I'm just thinking of myself like, how much just like six kumquats weigh? Because that's what I had for a snack this afternoon.
JS: Okay, but you bring flint, you bring some sort of fishing utensils or something.
AM: Yeah. Yup.
JS: [inaudible 13:21]
AM: Yup, yup. That's my favorite aisle at Dick's Sporting Goods
JS: You catch your own food and you survive. You'll be fine.
AM: That's exactly how every survival trip goes, yes. Annie says, that this survival trip is both heaven and some kiddos’ personal hell. Word. Every night, there's a huge bonfire and scary stories.
JS: Yes.
AM: Awesome. So the Kushtaka is like our local native skinwalker but a shape-shifting river otter.
JS: Huh!!!!
E. Schneider: I'm into it. I like this a lot.
AM: One good rule for life is do not fuck with said type of otter. Word, Annie. My mother worked at a fishing resort for a few summers when she was young and watched a half dozen otters try to get a dog to join them in the ocean.
JS: Did you not read this before?
AM: No.
JS: Oh, I read this part before.
AM: Oh okay.
JS: Go ahead.
AM: After a few minutes in the water, the otters drowned the dog.
JS: Yeah.
E. Schneider: Oh, no!
JS: Otters are kind of dicks. They're adorable, but they're douchebags.
AM: Otters are only cute from afar or through Plexiglas.
JS: That's true.
AM: Not so much when you're on the receiving end of those bone-crushing teeth. But the otters hold hands in the water.
JS: Yes, they're very cute, but they're also evil much like myself.
AM: I was just going to... listen when you said they're very cute. I thought you're gonna say but also vicious and I was gonna say just like you I'm glad you went there.
JS: Yeah.
AM: I'm glad you went there.
JS: Always. I understand my role in society.
AM: Normally, the story starts with the person of indeterminate gender on the beach. Same.
JS: Good.
AM: Girl, guy, or something in between this feature doesn't discriminate. Same. It's dark out which is not that hard to get in late afternoon. Currently, the sun sets at 3:40 PM.
JS: Alaska's weird.
E. Schneider: Too soon.
AM: Alaska, man.
E. Schneider: Too soon.
AM: Babe, are you okay?
JS: Too soon. Both on the fact that it got dark here at 4:45 today and made me sad.
AM: Yeah.
JS: And too soon, and that was way too early for the sun to go down.
AM: Yeah, I'm currently rocking out to a Spotify playlist that I entitled, Early Dark Rock just to like get me the heck through those evening commutes.
JS: Sweet.
AM: I'll put a link in the show notes. So they look out at the sea, this person on the beach and there is someone in the ocean. How odd. They don't recognize who it is at first, then they realize it's the person who they hold dearest in their heart neck-deep in the freezing surf.
JS: Yes.
AM: This is some boggart type shit, man.
JS: *whispers* murder them!
AM: Whoever it be, maybe a sister a mother, a friend or brother is beckoning for the person to join them in the icy waves. At first, they don't because who would? But after a few minutes in fragile silence, the person in the water doesn't stop silently asking or get out, just they're welcoming them in. Person on the beach thinks maybe the loved one needs help and they aren't that far from shore. Hypothermia anyway, it's, it's very easy to catch and the ocean floor can go from five feet to 500 feet so fast. It seems like only an arm's length away.
JS: That, that's the Pacific for you. Pacific has those real big continental drops which we don't have. Our continental shelf goes out super far here on the East Coast.
AM: Yes, it does. And as my mom the lifeguard would tell you, riptides are nothing to fuck with.
JS: They are not.
AM: Still no sound. So they start to hesitantly enter the water. But wouldn't you, too? And they don't realize until it's too late.
JS: I would.
AM: I was thinking early today at work like, don't people always say like, "Oh, man, I had no idea that he was a, a cryptid until I was too late." Like, you hear the stories where it's like in creepy past tense and stuff?
JS: Specifically, I didn't know he was a creep until it was too late?
AM: Yeah.
JS: Is that an emotional baggage story that you get quite a lot here in New York City?
AM: Yes, it is.
JS: Okay, cool. Just checking it out. He was secretly a sewer alligator. I never knew!
E. Schneider: I mean, the things you end up with on Tinder these days.
AM: My boyfriend was The Rat King, story at 5.
JS: I didn't know until we showed up for the third Tinder date.
AM: Ooh!
JS: Sorry. I want to write that series of dating in New York City, cryptid articles now.
AM: Yeah.
JS: I bet I can pitch it to [inaudible 16:56] and be a thing.
AM: Oooh, that would that be really fun?
JS: Yeahhhh... [inaudible 17:02]
AM: Or for The Niche, which is my favorite post toast universe website. Today they posted an article as a time of recording like, How to Make a Family of Crows Love You. What was that article? Julia?
JS: Yeah, it was, How to Make a Family of Crows Love You.
AM: Yeah.
JS: And it was just like...
E. Schneider: Damn.
JS: Listen, I see I see all these stories on the internet about how you know, little girls make friends with crows and they just deliver like shiny objects and coins and like $20 bills to people and like, same. I want to do that too.
AM: Yes, Julia has--
JS: Which, also same, I want to do that too.
AM: I remember us leaving stuff and like the crux of trees at elementary school. Remember that?
JS: Yeah, we used to leave like shiny rocks and shit.
AM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our own-- our elementary school was like half athletic fields and half, just woods. I don't know why they let us play in those woods in retrospect. There was like, dead animals there all the time.
JS: It's... it was like... it was sanctioned off...
AM: It was fenced in but it's still like quite, quite a number of woods.
JS: It was nice. I liked that.
AM: It was really ni- yeah, anyway, we would leave like...
JS: That explains so much about my childhood.
AM: It really does. Where do we like, leave stuff in the trees and like look for, look for bodies. I know, we were really weird.
JS: Our neighborhood was not that bad we're like gonna find bodies though.
AM: No, like a...
JS: Probably not.
AM: Maybe in the abandoned middle school across the road but not in our elementary school.
JS: Yeah.
AM: So Annie, we’re returning to your story with a bang with the sentence, they don't realize until it's too late. You don't know a person's a witch until you're in their oven sweating.
JS: That's true.
AM: It wasn't the friend they thought it was, it was an otter the size of a man.
JS: Otter the size of a man!
AM: It's an otter--
JS: Yeah.
AM: --the size of the man so waiting for a snack.
JS: Same.
AM: I'm always waiting for a snack. You can always tell a Koshtaka from a half-frozen family member if they don't say a word.
JS: Oh, that's fair.
AM: So this is it, this is it. If the family member is yelling for help you, help them. If they are not yelling for help and just kind of beckoning you soundlessly then, then assume they're either one, learning semaphore.
JS: Fair.
AM: Which is the art of like, art... waving flags.
JS: Flags.
AM: Yeah. Or two, a Koshtaka. Another of the creatures’ tricks is to scream like a woman or cry like a child and wait for a good samaritan.
JS: But now, it's making sounds.
AM: So, it's different there when they're not they're mimicking sound but not mimicking speech, it's what Annie points out.
JS: Oh, okay... So it would be like, "Ahhh!" instead of, "Help!"
AM: Yes.
JS: Okay.
AM: Exactly. Or you're like, "Hey, hello what did you have for breakfast this morning just confirm that you're not a Koshtaka!" And they're like, "Ahhhhh!"
JS: I like your [inaudible 19:13] voice there.
AM: Yeah, when I go into like, overly verbal help helping a lot elf.
JS: Slightly more high pitched than your normal voice
AM: Yeah, yeah, elf rogue that's, that's an art. Beware if before you get to a beach just out of eyesight in the trees, you hear a whistle? Not a normal whistle, but a low-high-low whistle. That is how they talk to each other.
JS: *whistles a low-high-low tune* Like that?
AM: Julia, don't do that! Don't usher them in!
JS: We're not anywhere near the water, we're fine.
AM: We're like one mile from the East River.
JS: It's okay.
AM: No!
JS: Okay.
AM: No, no, no.
JS: Okay.
E. Schneider: A lot of otters in the East River.
AM: And Annie just closes with...
JS: There's so many otters in the East River, you wouldn't believe it.
E. Schneider: They, they worry you. [inaudible 19:54]
AM: Maybe there are a lot of otters here in Astoria, but very few in the East River, actually.
JS: Is that a, is that a gay band joke? Like a...
AM: Yeah, yes.
JS: Okay, just checking.
AM: Yeah, an otter is like a bear but skinny.
JS: Yes.
AM: Yeah. Annie closes with a personal note so on her auntie's survival trip when her aunt was in school. A girl hot, crazy sick, she ate something bad on the beach like, I don't know catching their own fucking shellfish in the survival, the world. Like...
JS: Oh hell, yeah.
AM: It happens.
JS: It had like oysters and shit.
AM: I don't know. 13-year-olds aren't the best at following instructions, Annie writes. Word. So this girl must not have like cooked her food properly and started vomiting. I mean, it's understandable because they are 13. It got so bad that the teacher has to radio a boat to take the girl back to the main island.
JS: Oh, shit.
AM: While she was alone on the beach in the pitch-black night waiting for the boat. Mistake number one, she heard something a low-high-low whistle.
JS: Oh, some douchebag in their group probably went *whistles low-high-low*
AM: I never want to hear that again. Something human-shaped was in the ocean that wasn't there moments before.
JS: Oh, fuck me!
AM: She didn't have time to find out what it was for a few minutes later, the skip showed up to take her to the ER.
JS: Fucking lucky.
AM: Maybe it was a Koshtaka or maybe not. Have a lovely night! - Annie. Annie, that was ominous as fuck, and thank you for sending it to us.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
JS: It was dope. I want to meet a Koshtaka now.
AM: I know!
JS: Did I say that right?
AM: You did. I mean, that's how I said it.
JS: Alright!
AM: So who knows if it's right or not.
JS: Just going off for you, my dude.
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AM: Hey, hi, what's up? Thank you so much to Audible for sponsoring us again this week here on Spirits.
JS: Yeah, you can go to audible.com/spirits or text the word, Spirits to 500 500 to get started.
AM: Audible is awesome. And I-I think you know why we told you last time you can have audiobooks anywhere, anytime. The free trial is a really good way to get used to the kind of like super high-quality audiobooks that Audible is known for. But did you know, Julia that audible members every single month get a credit for any audiobook in the store regardless of the price and at the end of the month, if you don't use it because let's face it some months you know, podcast take precedence or you're really busy, but it rolls over so you accrue those credits and I didn't know that, so it's pretty cool.
JS: No, that's awesome. Did you know that you can use a bunch of different devices to listen to audible audiobooks?
AM: And that it syncs with your Kindle. I have been big on the Kindle train [22:16] this wintertime.
JS: Nice!
AM: I don’t know, as a podcaster, I like listening to music. Sometimes, when I listen to music, I want something to do with my hands, and Sudoku gets kind of old sometimes and crosswords that I can't do like the words the words hard, but I can read on my Kindle and pick it up with an audiobook when I get to work.
JS: Yeah, and it's really cool because when you're switching from devices, it's super seamless. So you can go on your phone and then when you get home from your commute or whatever, or you can listen to it in your car stereo during your commute. And then when you--
AM: I know, people with cars, man.
JS: I know, man, it's insane. And then when you get home, you can just switch it on to your like Amazon Echo or whatever your home devices and it's amazing.
AM: I know I haven't been on that connected speaker grind but I-I may at some point. But best news, in my opinion, is that even if you try this trial and you think like, ehh... I don't have the budget for it or you know not necessarily for me, the books that you get are yours to keep even if you cancel your membership, you can go back and re-listen anytime, you actually own it. Which in the, in this you know, day and age of streaming platforms is, is pretty cool. So take advantage of this offer from Audible for the 30-day trial and a free audiobook. You can go to audible.com/spirits or text Spirits to 500 500.
JS: So what are you listening to this month, Amanda?
AM: Yes, I am listening to Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
JS: Nice!
AM: Liz Gilbert is a friend of my brother, my brother and me, a show that we both really enjoy. And a writer of such books as Eat, Pray, Love. But she also wrote this incredible book about just being a creative person in the world, and it's called Big Magic. The name sounds kind of hokey, so just like suspend disbelief for a minute, but it actually is one of the books that helped me start this podcast and decide to you know, give like attention and respect to my creative impulses. So I'm really grateful for that, and I think it'll be really helpful and interesting to listeners, especially in this kind of New Year, you know, new vibe of like getting your priorities straight, getting your project started.
JS: My recommendation comes from a different vein of how to spend your New Year. And that is looking at the choices that fictional characters made, and me being like, "Wow, I made better choices than that person."
AM: Hell yeah. Escapism, man.
JS: And so that would be Artemis by Andy Weir, and it is read by Rosario Dawson and it is about a con artist who lives on the moon and it's amazing.
AM: Our queen, Rosario Dawson.
JS: She's just so good, I just-
AM: Man.
JS: I want to see that movie. Basically, if you like the Martian, which was also written by Andy Weir, and you thought, a little less Matt Damon-
AM: A little of your dad jokes.
JS: -And a little bit more Rosario Dawson.
AM: There you go.
JS: That's what you get. It's perfect, Artemis is a great book to pick up for the New Year.
AM: I love that idea. I think I may put that next on my uhh, on my queue.
JS: Good choice.
AM: But in the meantime, y'all check out audible.com/spirits. Thank you again to Audible for sponsoring us and now, let's get back to the show.
JS: Eric, what do you got for us?
E. Schneider: This comes from Donna. And it is titled "I have a couple of stories to share, so we're going to get a two for here".
AM: Ooh.
JS: Ooh, I love a good two for.
E. Schneider: She says, "The first is sort of like an urban legend. But the only place it was passed down was that camp I went to a few summers here in Middle Tennessee."
JS: Is that the name of the town it’s just, Middle?
AM: No, Julia, like the middle of the state [25:26].
JS: Oh, okay I wasn't sure. Like, wow, that is a distinct named town?
AM: That will be a highly, highly confusing town name.
E. Schneider: Middle of middle, Middle Tennessee. It was originally a clean air camp during the time tuberculosis was a huge problem because the trail you could take about a 20-minute hike up the mountain into the woods into a graveyard where they buried patients who had died there.
JS: I was going to ask why the graveyard was so far away. But it makes sense now that we're talking about tuberculosis, right?
AM: Yeah.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
JS: Okay. You don't want to bury those bodies close to the town.
AM: No, no you don't.
JS: Cool, cool.
E. Schneider: I especially remember a headstone inscribed as Unknown Boy.
JS: Aww.
AM: Aw.
E. Schneider: Anyway, the story was told around the camp that night because of course, it was. This was several years ago. I can't remember all the details, but these sorts of stories always go through a telephone game of variation, anyways. The story goes-
AM: Yes! For our amusement later, so we really appreciate it.
E. Schneider: Yeah, the story goes that a caretaker at the tuberculosis camp was out in the woods one night, looking for a child that had wandered off and gotten lost. He was walking along the railroad track that ran through the forest and was intent on his search that he didn't notice that the train had come barreling straight towards him until it was too late.
AM: Ugh!
JS: Hmm.
E. Schneider: He managed to jump out of the way but his leg was caught and crushed.
AM: No!
E. Schneider: I know one thing about trains. You don't- you don't get a leg crushed from a train. It's- it's to think [inaudible 26:49]
AM: Yeah, it feels like a sort of vortex situation, where, yeah, you like it's all or nothing.
JS: It all gets pulled in.
AM: Yeah.
E. Schneider: He struggled to drag himself back to camp but he died before he could have escaped the woods. The child was never found. They say that sometimes during the night, you can still hear stompers stumbling through the forest, the stomp of one foot, and the drag of the other.
AM: No!
JS: Oh, no!
AM: The stomp drag is bad. That's bad.
JS: That reminds me of a story that we would tell-
AM: Yes!
JS: -in like elementary school sleepovers.
AM: Sleepovers.
JS: And I can't remember the actual story of it. But the like premise of it is thump, thump, drag.
AM: Yeah.
JS: Thump, thump, drag.
E. Schneider: Oh, yeah! I know something like that too.
AM: You would go around the circle, sort of like Duck-duck-goose style and like, drag across the person's back you know, it was very scary.
JS: It was creepy.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
JS: No, there was definitely like a story to it though. Someone--
AM: Like, yeah, I don't remember.
JS: Someone's in a bag, and it's a bloody bag and the bags being dragged up a stairs or
something like that.
AM: That, I don't remember.
E. Schneider: Ohh I know what you're talking about, but I can't remember.
JS: Yeah.
AM: Yikes.
JS: I'm gonna look it up at some point.
AM: Yikes.
E. Schneider: Yeah. I liked that this one really had a twist to it because you thought it was going to be the kid.
AM: Yeah, I know.
E. Schneider: And then it ends up being the guy that went looking for the kid.
JS: Oh, no.
AM: Oof! oof!
E. Schneider: Here's the second part from Donna. The other thing I have is some things that my best friend and his family experienced in his childhood home, which they only moved out of last year. It was a pretty old house. I can't exactly remember when it was built. Even before his older sister was born, his mom would hear the faint but unmistakable sounds of a baby crying. Not good, should've sold the house. Way-
JS: No good, okay not good.
E. Schneider: -way before last year.
JS: You fucked up.
E. Schneider: That was, that was that was our editorializing on, on, on some uh, on some retail decisions your friend’s family made.
AM: Hold on, I really got to pause and ask. Would you guys buy a house that was said to be haunted?
JS: Yes.
E. Schneider: No.
AM: I think it for me It depends on the nature of the haunting. If it's like a benevolent cool ghost, or like a you know, old Victorian wife who, like died prosperous after being a widower for or a widow for a long time, or like a scary single spinster lady.
JS: [inaudible 28:55]
AM: I'd be like, "You are probably a lesbian. Like welcome"
JS: Yes.
AM: This is your people, we can all enjoy this house together.
JS: But like, we can all agree we wouldn't buy the Amityville Horr-. Nope, I w-- not gonna say that cause I would. I would buy the house.
AM: That's really fucked up.
JS: There's honestly really been any hunting since that like, traditional thing.
AM: Yes. But Julia, they will come and haunt you, specifically.
JS: That's fine. Bring it on. I don't mind the demon ghost pig in my house. That's cool with me.
AM: W-what?!
JS: You don-? I literally told you this story last year.
AM: No, no, no. I just, I mean, I'm incredulous that you would accept that presence in your home.
JS: Yeah, it's cool. There's like this little pig running around.
E. Schneider: It's very important for the life--
JS: Yes.
E. Schneider: --of the podcast that you not be killed by a ghost.
JS: I can make no promises.
E. Schneider: So please stop trying to fuck with them.
AM: Unless you are able to come back in a corporeal form and be the first ghost to podcast.
E. Schneider: Now, that's true.
JS: Or just wait until we do a Ouija Board episode and I make Amanda and I summon like this Spaghetti Ghost or something like that.
AM: No, no, no.
JS: Yeah.
AM: When we make our Patreon goal and fly to Akron to go to the Spaghetti Warehouse, we will do a Ouija Board together and live stream it.
E. Schneider: Donna continues, they would also hear horses whinnying, but the house was in a suburban neighborhood.
AM: Ooooh!
E. Schneider: But most significantly, there were countless sightings of a ghost named Meridith. She would always appear in a white night gown only ever in the peripheral vision, and sometimes just a presence you could feel in the room. She was kind and quiet and only ever scary once.
JS: See Amanda, this is your type of ghost.
AM: Yeah, yeah.
JS: This is the ghost that you would buy a haunted house for.
AM: Exactly.
JS: Cool.
AM: And I would just like give her her own quarter, she could have the attic, she could have whatever. Put some books up there some offerings, some herbs. I don't know, some like topical magazines, like catch up with what's up in the news. I don't know.
JS: Fair enough.
AM: I would be a good ghost.
E. Schneider: [inaudible 30:41] magazine
JS: Thats nice of you for [inaudible 30:43]
AM: As opposed to those Evergreen magazines.
E. Schneider: The newest issue of Bizarre.
JS: Supposed to the ones that you find in a dentist's office.
AM: Yeah, the Highlights Magazine from 1995. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
E. Schneider: It's a good issue though. The scoop is like yeah, Gotta Get Up [inaudible 31:00] next.
JS: Oh, god!
AM: Those word searches, man. Gotta love them.
E. Schneider: She appeared in plain sight in front of the mom's ex husband one day, right around when he really started showing how awful he was. She was wearing a flowing blue dress, and her hair was done up neatly. She stared at him with anger in her eyes. I don't know what else she said to him, but that's how they know her name was Meredith because she told him.
JS: Okay, So interestingly, Meredith, who is normally seen in a white dressing gown-
AM: Yeah.
JS: -dressed up real nice to go like tell this ex husband that he's a douche bag.
AM: Yeah, she's presenting her best self for her haunting which I think is just honestly a really good philosophy for life.
JS: Just gold.
AM: Like, you go out to break up with someone, look your best. You got to like tell off a sexist boss of yours and quit, look your best. You like run into someone you wanted to date in high school but never got to on the Long Island Railroad. Hopefully you're looking your best and not in your sweatpants cause you're going home to visit your parents for the weekend.
E. Schneider: Hopefully all those things are true for all of us on this call.
AM: But also, let's just note that like, I love that most ghosts are found in like long pajamas or otherwise like flowing garments like that's usually comfortable.
JS: That's usually what they die in.
AM: You'd be comfortable in your afterlife, yo.
JS: Usually, when you're like dying of dysentery or something.
AM: Consumption.
JS: They dress you in, like--
AM: Yeah.
JS: You know, your bed clothes.
AM: Classic Consumption, classic.
JS: Fair.
E. Schneider: Whatever it was she said, it definitely was a threat. They think her appearance to him was a warning. Like, she know that he was about to show his true colors and want to scare him off. It's also unlikely he made the sighting up as he had no previous knowledge that the house was haunted.
AM: And like shitty ex-husbands are not in the business of like telling cool stories, right?
JS: That's true.
AM: Yeah. Wow.
E. Schneider: Thank you for your, for your letter, Donna.
JS: Yeah Donna, that was badass.
AM: Julia, what is your next letter?
JS: I actually have one from China.
AM: Ooh.
JS: And this is from Wei Shi, and Wei Shi says: I am listening to the urban legends episode right now and I'm reminded of a story that my Grandma told me when I was three to four years old. She must have told me many times because even to this day, I'm 28 years old now, some of the details and imagery are still vivid in my mind. The story goes that there's a pair of siblings, older sister and younger brother who live with their grandma in the mountains. They're both pretty young, around 10 years old. One evening, they come home late from their nightly chores, and find that granny is acting oddly, but they didn't think much of it. They went to bed as usual. But in the middle of the night, the sister was woken by some loud crunching noises. She called out to granny and asked her what's going on, granny replies and says, she got hungry and got some nuts to snack on. So the sister went back to bed. A little later, she was woken again, and this time, she decided to turn on the lights and found granny chewing on her little brother's toes. In parentheses, the way she says I'm assuming that the brother was already dead. Fair enough. good assumption.
AM: I hope so.
JS: She ran from the house screaming. Turned out granny was a witch who has the shape of a bear, don't ask me why. And she had already eaten their real grandmother earlier in the day. My grandma finished the story by telling me if I misbehaved, bear granny would come for me.
AM: Yes!
JS: I was scared of the slightest noise in the dark for a really long time. The way she continues, I've always thought that this was just some crazy story my grandma made up to scare me, kind of like Little Red Riding Hood. I even told it to my boyfriend a couple of years ago, and now he makes fun of me for it. When I thought of sending you the story, I decided to search it online to see if there's any record of it. Turns out it's actually an urban legend from Szechuan, my home province in China, and apparently people tell it to their children to put them to sleep?!
AM: Yikes!
JS: And then they sent us the Chinese language Wikipedia for it because there is not a translated version.
AM: Wow!
JS: And that's it. There's compliments at the end that I will spare listeners from hearing.
AM: That is dope as fuck.
JS: Thank you, Wei Shi.
E. Schneider: That is so cool!
AM: I'm not sure if I want to have kids but I sure do want to be a grandma that tells terrifying stories.
JS: I mean that's the idea, right?
AM: Yeah.
JS: I-I want to put a bear granny and, and bloody bones grandpa together just to tell me good, good stories.
AM: Yes! To do like an oral history story core version, you know.
JS: I'm into it.
AM: That'd so good. Well, I actually have a letter here from Korea, so we're staying in, in East Asia here.
JS: Sweet.
AM: So this is Jesse, writing in from Toronto, Ontario with a family story. So her mom grew up in a tiny poor village in South Korea that worked very hard to piece itself back together after years of war and Japanese occupation. In the 1940s, one of the town's greatest tragedies was a pillaging by Japanese soldiers, which left most of the homes destroyed and five young women were taken by Japanese soldiers. None were ever seen again. The town mourn their loss for many years and a rumor had it that two of the women were tortured to death and the remaining three executed for rebelling and trying to escape.
JS: Ooohf...
AM: Which is, which is super tragic. So when Jesse's mom was a child, the community came together to put up a beautiful shrine for the loss women, people began to leave gifts and offerings to it, which led to the beginning of strange occurrences around the village.
JS: Oooooh!
AM: The soil became seemingly more fertile, chickens laid more eggs, those sort of things. Some claimed to see their ghosts at night, which was concerning at first. Korean ghosts.
JS: I mean, yeah, that would be a little concerning, at first.
AM: But listen, there's a twist.
JS: Okay.
AM: So Korean ghosts known as Gwisin generally stay on earth for two reasons. Either they have unfinished business like revenge or their spirits are so strong of will that they refuse to go to the Afterworld and choose to remain on earth by their own accord.
JS: Same.
AM: Same.
E. Schneider: Nice.
AM: At first people were worried that the lost women's ghost were angry spirits hoping for revenge on the soldiers that took their lives. The village cried that even in the Afterlife, this woman could not find peace. This idea began to change though as more good things happened to the village.
JS: Awwww...
AM: Which is the opposite from what how you normally hear this story go.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
JS: Yeah.
AM: But the good things especially happen to women in the village.
JS: Sweet.
AM: There was an instance where a drunk violently abusive husband had seen the Gwisin of the women one night. The next morning he bowed before his wife in apology begging for her forgiveness.
JS: Damn right.
AM: He said that the Gwisin has made him realize the error of his ways and with the help of family and friends, he began to stop drinking and start meditating to calm his temper.
JS: Bam!
AM: What?!
E. Schneider: That's some good, good ghost.
JS: That's the ideal!
AM: Some best ghost of all time! The lost women began to be seen as the protectors of the villages girls and women.
JS: Aw.
AM: They even saved the life of Jesse's mother.
JS: Sweet!
AM: In her early teens, she had developed some sort of illness. The doctors of the village were not educated like those from the bigger cities. So the diagnosis was unclear, but it had something to do with her back and lungs. It was labeled as being terminal. Which like wow.
JS: Shit, yeah.
AM: What a diagnosis to make, shit. And her family was too poor to get her the treatments or medication from Seoul that could potentially save her life. The sad reality is that there was no hope for my mother. And for fear of the illness being something contagious like TB, Jesse's grandparents had no choice but to abandon her mom.
JS: Ooh.
AM: They left her in a shack at the outskirts of the village with a month supply of food and water as she was only expected to live another month. This is something that she almost never talks about for such a sad point in her childhood. But one thing she shared was how she got better. Which like ugh, I like, had to pause for a second and say like, I cannot imagine living through something like that.
JS: Nah, that's horrifying.
AM: Whew! I'm really glad she is with us today. So Jesse's mom said that she was there in her solitude and she would see what she believed were the ghosts of the lost women and hear them sing lullabies to her. She said that whenever they were near, she would feel completely at ease and peaceful. At the same time, teachers that her mother school who are all women, began having weird dreams night after night. She isn't entirely sure what happened next, but somehow the school managed to have doctor come from Seoul with medicine--
JS: Wow!
AM: --to see the mother. She was treated and has been a pinnacle of health ever since.
JS: Wow.
AM: Jesse's maternal grandmother to this day praises The Lost Women for returning her eldest daughter to her.
JS: That's a great story.
AM: It is and there is a PS here.
JS: Go for it.
AM: So fast forward to Jesse's birth. There were severe complications when her mother was pregnant with her. Everything that could have gone wrong seemingly did go wrong because her mom was 42 years old when she conceived. Her doctor first told her that she was very likely to miscarry. After months she was one of the possibility of a stillbirth or having a baby with severe or lethal birth defects. Still, month after month, she kept me until the night before she went into labor. She claims that she heard whispers of women saying she can't breathe in Korean in dreams to her. When she woke up her water broke and she got rushed to the hospital. Her mother whose English was not perfect at the time, kept telling the doctors: "Can't breathe, can't breathe" and refused to cooperate with them. They assumed she was having a panic attack but after talking to her and my dad decided to give her a C section instead. Turns out that Jesse's umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck.
JS: Holy crap!
AM: And if her mom had tried to have a natural birth she would have suffocated. So her mother used to tell her that the only reason she was alive is because of the protection of the, a Korean word I'm not gonna sing, which translates to Lost Women. So the village which Jesse's mom has never told her the name of no longer exists as all the occupants have since moved away. But all the women who had originally lived there still strongly believe in the protection of the Lost Women and passed down their legacy to their daughters.
JS: I literally have chills.
AM: That is so fucking amazing.
JS: That's an amazing story.
E. Schneider: Yes.
JS: That's so cool.
E. Schneider: I like that. It's a lot of like it that it's spirits interacting with other people to help the people of the village.
JS: Yeah, we, we don't get a lot of those.
AM: Yeah, yeah. It really, really is especially like something that the spirit world could have access to like, you know, you don't know what's going on with the unborn child, you know, and just kind of intervening in fate in a way that is constructive instead of destructive.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
AM: It is just a really lovely plot twist, especially for a town that had like suffered so hugely, you know, at the hands of like war and politics and human cruelty to have their own kind of rogue band of like women whose lives were ended because of violence and said, "You know what?, Fuck you! Everyone here is gonna live." you know, and just like made it happen.
JS: Yeah.
AM: It's amazing.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
JS: I'm like left a little speechless from that one. Not gonna lie.
AM: I know. Eric, do you have a myth to end on?
E. Schneider: I do. So our last story comes from Katie, and it is entitled: "Tall Bette", B-E-T-T-E.
AM: Like Bette Midler.
JS: Like Bette Midler
AM: Heey.
JS: Damn it!
AM: Can you tell it we're theatre kids?
E. Schneider: So this is a scary story/creature thing, that as far as we can tell only exists in our families, since we found no evidence of it online or of others in the community way back then did tell it, it died out.
AM: Can we just pause for a second and ask? What like weird shit does your family do or say that no one else does? For example, in my family, if, if like dinner was being prepared, it was like 20 minutes 'til dinner, but you were really, really hungry and just wanted like two bites of food to satisfy yourself. That was called snack roll. And-
E. Schneider: A snack roll's a thing.
AM: Yeah it’s ah thing.
E. Schneider: No, a snack roll's a thing.
AM: What?
JS: Yeah, I'm 100% a thing.
AM: Really?!
E. Schneider: Yeah.
AM: Really?
JS: Yeah.
E. Schneider: Yeah, no. A snack roll, a snack roll is a very small portion of food.
JS: Yeah.
AM: Oh, thank God! I've always thought that we were just like frickin' bizarre and just said stuff.
JS: Nah.
AM: Well, that's awesome. Thank you.
JS: [inaudible 42:31]
E. Schneider: Well, here's. here is a weird thing. So growing up, my mother's family always used bushel baskets as laundry hampers.
JS: Okay.
AM: Okay.
E. Schneider: So my mom only ever referred to laundry hampers as bushel baskets. So...
AM: Oh, no!
JS: That one’s funny.
E. Schneider: Until like, legitimately, less than a year ago. I didn't know that like, I knew that it was just like a thing that we said, but I never put it together like, I would always like say, "Laundry hamper" to like, you don't say laundry hamper do a lot of people very often. So like, it's... [inaudible 43:10]
AM: To the normies.
E. Schneider: Typically like, could come up an embarrassing thing. But then she was like, oh yeah like at dinner one night, just like, oh yeah I always you, everyone always says, bushel basket even though a bushel baskets just a big wooden basket that you will put like apples in. But like her family just used one for laundry so it was always called that even though we have like plastic ones that aren't bushel baskets in any ways, I still call laundry hampers bushel baskets.
JS: That's so funny. That reminds me of I mean my family doesn't, not that I know of, doesn't do anything like super weird, nothing comes to mind, at least. But it reminds, that reminds me of like the fact that people who learn like their parents' native language-
AM: Yeah.
JS: As a secondary language?
AM: Oh my God! This is a Tumblr post right?
JS: Yeah.
AM: It was so funny.
JS: And one of them was I think it was about Farsi. And they, they're sitting at dinner with their parents one night and the mother asks for the spatula or something?
AM: The tongs.
JS: The tongs, and uses a word that the girl associated with the word remote control. And it turns out that the word just means like, thingamajig.
AM: Yeah, yeah. So her parents had called her remote control like in Farsi, thingamabob. And so she's always like, "Oh, yes, scientifically the television and its thingamabob"
JS: Yes.
AM: And just never known.
JS: That reminds me someone. I don't remember who it was. But like, someone I know, use the word spatula, for just like, anything they didn't really know the name for. So like, they called the remote control once, a spatula. I'm like, "I'm sorry. It's in the kitchen though". They're like, "No, it's right in front of you just hand me the spatula," and I'm like, w-what?!
E. Schneider: That, that cannot be true. I refuse to believe that.
JS: What are you talking about?
AM: I think it was one of your roommates. I remember that.
JS: Yes!
AM: I remember that happening.
JS: It was 100% was a thing.
AM: Fuck.
E. Schneider: That was just the craziest thing I have ever heard.
AM: Oh, my god.
JS: It's just like the parents would use the word spatula when they didn't know the word for something.
AM: There's probably an inside joke that got twisted.
JS: I guess so, it's wild though.
E. Schneider: I can’t handle when people call video game controllers, remotes.
JS: Ooh!
E. Schneider: It's just like, what? It's no- It's not like no, it's called the controller.
JS: I sometimes do that.
E. Schneider: It's ugh. Unacceptable.
JS: I'm sorry.
E. Schneider: Just truly an unacceptable thing.
AM: Especially when it's wired, like it's not remote it's not away from the unit. Like it's- it's a it's a controller of the action.
JS: Who the fuck uses wired controllers anymore, Amanda?
AM: Oh my God!
JS: The whole point is that they're wireless now.
AM: I don't know, Babe. I don't play video games.
E. Schneider: Maybe through the magic of the internet. Some listeners could find this story somewhere else. So my descendants settled in Texas back in the day after the Civil War, and they lived in an area/on land that my family still owns near land passes [45:55]. The story goes that the parents used to tell the kids not to stray from the house after dark or else Tall Bette would get them.
AM: Whoa.
E. Schneider: Tall Bette is a humongous woman who waits in the woods waiting for lonesome children.
JS: Same.
AM: Yes.
E. Schneider: She is so huge. She is so huge and rough that her legs bend in and look exactly like trees. And you wouldn't know she's there until she scoops you up.
JS: So she's a giant tree lady!
AM: I love it!
E. Schneider: And if she scoops you up, you better get away quick because she wears an apron with pockets that are so deep, it's impossible to climb out of. I think the implication is that she will eat you or you'll suffocate in giant pockets.
JS: Oh, no!
E. Schneider: I'm sure but I think it's better left to the imagination.
JS: I just like the idea of Tall Bette picking up children and be like "This one's cute. I'm gonna save it for later" just put it in her pockets.
AM: I'm picturing like giant Brienne of Tarth as a kangaroo.
JS: Why? Oh cause, pockets?
AM: Kangaroo pockets, yeah.
JS: Alright. It's, it’s an apron, it's a part of her.
AM: I know but like a tree size lady with a big like bigger on the inside pocket. I love it.
JS: I'm not gonna play with you on this one.
AM: Alright.
E. Schneider: The story was told my mom and uncles by their grandfather, and they would tell it to me and my cousins whenever we were at the ranch.
JS: I love a good grandparent who tells creepy stories. Just sign me up for him.
AM: Goals
JS: That's the theme of this episode, I guess.
AM: Goals.
JS: Yeah.
E. Schneider: And apparently when my great grandfather was a little kid, he stayed out a bit too late one day, so his sister took a broom, and an apron and tromp through the field holding it up to and scared him shitless.
AM: Oh my God.
E. Schneider: They lived in a pretty small community so I guess it makes sense that I've never heard it anywhere else, but I can't help but wonder if Tall Bette is just something their parents made up or if it's actually had a longer or bigger history. I think that Tall Bette and but Bloody Bones share a lot of similarities.
JS: Ooh, okay. Explain, tell me.
AM: Take us through it.
E. Schneider: Okay. I think that they could be like the darker and lighter version of a very similar myth.
JS: Okay.
E. Schneider: You've got a very large creature, it scoops you up, bloody bones attaches the children to itself.
JS: That's true.
AM: Yes, it does.
E. Schneider: Big Bette. Tall Bette.
JS: Big Bette.
E. Schneider: Puts you in an apron kind of, consuming you in some sense. Like, they're not identical, they both, they both involve being staying out past dark.
AM: Yeah.
E. Schneider: Like, it's then there's like three or four pretty similar parts to those two myths. So maybe there's some kind of origin of these kind of large thing in the woods that's going to consume you.
AM: Get you.
E. Schneider: And people have taken it a lot of different ways.
JS: Yeah, it's definitely following the the traditional kind of boogie man.
AM: Yeah.
JS: Bug bear in the woods approach.
AM: Right.
JS: Which is a big monster that is going to eat children that disobey, you know their parents.
AM: Yeah, even like a werewolf or vampire or something that's going to like you know, prey on the vulnerable in the darkness, you know make you different, either transform you or take you or eat you or whatever. But I think it's a really interesting thing. I mean maybe when my kids are like, you know, running around saying out too late and I want to go to sleep, you know. And have to kind of scare them to coming back in. Maybe something like that will present itself in, in our adulthood.
JS: Yeah, and it's a superhuman thing to be afraid of the woods at night.
AM: Yeah.
JS: There are scary shit out there.
AM: Bad stuff happens.
JS: Yeah. Which I think almost all of our stories kind of touched on that.
AM: But in this case, I love the detail of the apron like that is so so unique.
E. Schneider: Yeah, that is so nice.
AM: I love the name, like we hear the name Mary a lot but I feel like Bette is a really interesting I don't know change.
JS: It's very Southern.
AM: And, it is. And also it's just like a giant lady, like so am I, I would also be scary in the woods if you saw me. I could fit a lot in my pockets.
JS: And your legs look like trees.
AM: My legs do look like trees. Thank you, Julia. I am a size 12, women's shoes, what do you want? Anyway. Tall Bette, goals.
E. Schneider: Yeah.
JS: I want my legs to look like trees.
E. Schneider: Thank you so much, Katie. That was, that was great.
AM: That was great. Thank you to everybody who sent in your urban legends. If you have something that we haven't replied, I promise you, we got it. I promise you, we read it and we loved it, and we are saving them all for future episodes.
JS: That's true. We go through them all and we pick some ones that we like, but there's always other ones that we just don't have time to do, so...
AM: We love them. We read them, I wake up and read and read them like right away and then think about them as I stare out the window of the subway, like little bit worried for my safety, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So, listeners when you were on your elementary school survival trip in the Alaskan wilderness, just remember...
JS: Stay creepy.
AM: Stay cool.
Outro
AM: Spirits was created by Amanda McLoughlin, Julia Schifini and Eric Schneider with music by Kevin MacLeod and visual design by Allison Wakeman.
JS: Keep up with all things creepy and cool by following us on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook and Instagram, @SpiritsPodcast. We also have all our episodes collaborations and guest appearances plus merge on our website, spiritspodcast.com.
AM: Come on over to our Patreon page patreon.com/spiritspodcast for all kinds of behind the scenes stuff. Throw us as little as $1 and get access to audio extras, recipe cards, directors, commentaries and patron only live streams.
JS: And hey, if you like the show, please share this with your friends. That is the best way to help us keep on growing.
AM: Thank you so much for listening, 'til next time.
Transcriptionist: JM Sarong
Editor: Krizia Casil