Episode 256: Your Urban Legends LVI: The Spookiest Story We’ve Ever Told
/This is it. This is the one. Potentially the spookiest story we’ve ever told on this show. In fact it is the ONLY story of this episode. That’s how good it is. Trust us, you won’t be disappointed. Presenting: The Shuddering of Creekside Mushrooms.
Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of corrupt law enforcement, racism, dangerous working conditions, disappearances, scientific experimentation, Alzheimer’s, sharks, insects, migraines, mining and mining accidents, animals in peril, dissociation, memory loss, politics, human sacrifice, and pandemic.
Housekeeping
- TAROT! Get the Spirits Major Arcana at spiritspodcast.com/merch!
- Recommendation: This week, Julia recommends Down Comes the Night by Allison Saft.
- Books: Check out our previous book recommendations, guests’ books, and more at spiritspodcast.com/books
- Call to Action: Check out HORSE: A podcast about ridiculous stories, internet drama, and some of the biggest and baddest personalities out there today—all from the world of basketball.
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Transcript
AMANDA: Welcome to Spirits podcast, a boozy dive into mythology, legends, and folklore. Every week we pour a drink and learn about a new story from around the world. I'm Amanda.
JULIA: And I'm Julia.
AMANDA: And this is Episode 256: Your Urban Legends Number LVI. Look at that. Guys, it's the spookiest story we've ever told. And normally, we don't, like, open up with a content warning. I'm going to tell you right now, if you are walking alone in a German forest, if you are walking alone on, like, the windswept plains or, like, home from the bus stop. And if you were to, like, narrate your story back to us in an email and if we would yell at you don't do something spooky right now. Don't listen to this episode right now. It's very spooky guys. Very spooky.
JULIA: It's very good. It's also all one story. That's how--
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: --good the story is, is that this entire episode is a single story.
AMANDA: A single story, it's that good. Listen, I feel like we really should leave it there because I don't need to overhype it. Just, like, come on this journey with us. Hug a stuffed animal, hug... hug a pet. You know, hug a friend and we're here for you.
JULIA: I'm almost apologetic that this came out after Halloween, but you're welcome that it exists in your life now.
AMANDA: I know. It came hot into the inbox and we had to do it, frankly.
JULIA: Truly.
AMANDA: Well, it's spooky-season all year round for us and you know why, Julia? Because I didn't even stop to let you guess, because we know we've been excited about this for months. The Spirits tarot deck is here. I just had to say it. I had to say it.
JULIA: It's here. It's here.
AMANDA: Oh, god. It's so good. Zoe Polando Ryder illustrated the 22 major arcana cards for us. They are gorgeous. They come in a gorgeous box. They're fold illustrated. There is a prominent moth man's butt. The three of us are the fool. Guys, if you know anything about Tarot, you are going to love this and I'm sorry to say it but it's true. They are in limited quantities, okay? We had a... we did, like, a... it's a limited printing. If we can reprint them again one day and they sell out, we... we will try to. But things in the world are taking a long time right now as you may have read. So, if you feel like, "Oh, my god. It's a Spirits tarot deck, I need to have it." You gotta check it out, spiritspodcast.com/merch.
JULIA: Pick it up. Seriously, Zoe did such an incredible job and I am super proud that we were finally able to make this thanks to, in part, our incredible patrons.
AMANDA: Thanks to our patrons. It was a goal for a number of patrons that we got over on the Patreon, and they made it happen. And then, we made it happen. So, thank you to every single one of you who is a patron, particularly our newest patron: Almighty Neptune, Bailey, Kristinooh-la-la, and Alice. You joined the ranks of our Supporting-producer level patrons: Uhleeseeuh, Bryan, Debra, Hannah, Jack Marie, Jane, Jessica Stewart, Kneazlekins, Megan Moon, Phil Fresh, Captain Jonathan MAL-uh-kye Cosmos, Sarah, Scott, Theo, and Zazi. And the Legend-level patrons: Audra, Clara, Drew, Jaybaybay, Lexus, Mary, Morgan, Morgan H., Mother of Vikings, Sarah, Taylor, & Bea Me Up Scotty.
JULIA: I hope next time you do a tarot reading that it is all that you hope for, and they're not to mean to you, because sometimes those cards can be very mean to you.
AMANDA: And guys, Julia assigned one of the creatures from mythology or folklore that we have covered to each of those major arcana. They're so beautiful. Oh, god. I love them so much.
JULIA: I have a strong love for the tower card. I think Zoe did exactly what I had in my brain when I pictured it, and crushed it.
AMANDA: Go for it. We have some previews up on the Instagram, we're @spiritspodcast. And then, spiritspodcast.com/merch is where you can pick up those tarot cards. And Julia, in between just being hyped about our tarot cards and celebrating Halloween, what have you been reading, watching, or listening to?
JULIA: So, I just finished a book recently called Down Comes the Night by Allison Saft. And it really kinda itched my desire for a gothic mystery with a little bit of magic mixed in. Highly recommend, it's got a great enemies-to-lovers plotline as well, so.
AMANDA: It's delicious.
JULIA: Just check it out. It's really good. It has a lot of redemption arcs and whatnot, and I think it's delightful.
AMANDA: And that actually reminds me, Julia, the word gothic applies to basketball, which is why I'd love to recommend to you that if you've never listened to the Multitude podcast, Horse, it's a great time to start. This is a podcast about all the ridiculous stories, and drama, and redemption arcs, and enemies-to-friends storylines that you could possibly imagine. Just search for Horse in your podcast app or go to horsehoops.com. But this is hosted by our friends: Adam Mamawala and Mike Schubert. And they just feel very passionate that basketball is amazing and everyone should know about it.
JULIA: I want to hear more gothic fantasy novels that also have basketball in them, personally.
AMANDA: I know, me too. So good. Well everybody, take a deep breath. Get yourself somewhere cozy, and enjoy Spirits podcast Episode 256: The Spookiest Story We've Ever Told.
ERIC: Guys, I am very excited. Tomorrow is the big day. Back post-COVID, the Lakewood spooky-pooch parade.
AMANDA: Yay.
ERIC: Very excited. Henry and Herbie are going to be a UPS delivery man and a postal worker.
JULIA: Oh, my god.
AMANDA: Yay.
ERIC: If you want to see pictures, since this episode is obviously coming out after the fact, after the... the actual parade, you can head over to our Patreon and they'll be there in our, in our bonus stuff. So, check that out. Very, very excited. So, I mean who doesn't love, who doesn't love spooky dogs? I mean, they're just the, they're simply the best thing. I think we could probably talk about them all day.
JULIA: I mean, like, I'm gonna move to Ohio and get a dog just so I can dress it up and bring it to the spooky dog parade.
AMANDA: That's incredibly adorable. And Eric, I'm really glad that you're giving us a kind of, like, wonderful aperitif, a real good, like, palate cleanser, opener, amuse-bouche.
ERIC: Cleanser? We've barely started Amanda.
JULIA: We have to cleanse from the day, man.
AMANDA: The thing is, I have a really umami story right here.
JULIA: Oh.
ERIC: Oh.
AMANDA: I have a story that's savory. I have a story with a lot of depth to it. I have a story centered on mushrooms, and it's a bit long. It's very worth it. I'm, I just want to kind of dive right in.
JULIA: Go in. Go in, girl.
AMANDA: Like a portobello mushroom burger. Like, the mushroom's the thing. Like, we got to just dive right in.
JULIA: That's the meat of it in that vegan option that you've recommended here.
AMANDA: Exactly, Julia. So, this is titled The Shuddering of Creekside Mushrooms.
JULIA: What a great title.
ERIC: Yeah. I'm, I'm in for sure.
AMANDA: And I will tell you right up front, the shuddering is spelled like a person shuddering, but it also has to do with the closing of a business. Like the shuddering with shutters, with T's. Like you're shuttering a window. Those are different words, but it's a... it's a real play on words. I love it, this comes from Michael K. So, Michael says, "Hey, y'all. I've been a fan for a few years now, and ever since the first urban legends episode, I knew there's a story I wanted to tell. However, I never had the motivation to write it down as it's pretty strange and doesn't quite make sense."
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: But after a recent real-life update, I knew I had to make time to write it all down.
JULIA: I love a real-life update. Oh, yeah.
AMANDA: Fair warning, this is a long story, but it has everything. Ghosts, weird fungi, corrupt local law enforcement, small orange cats. Trust me, stick around.
JULIA: That hit all my buttons.
AMANDA: So, this tale takes place just outside the small town of Worthington, Pennsylvania. They recently achieved mile notoriety when in the middle of the Black Lives Matter movement, the owner of a gas station, hot tub combo store, bought a billboard and used it to display racial slurs to oncoming traffic.
JULIA: I'm sorry.
ERIC: This makes perfect sense to someone in the Midwest.
AMANDA: Yep. Eric, you've driven through Pennsylvania many times.
ERIC: Oh, of course. Too many times I might say.
JULIA: I think it was the gas station hot tub that really threw me off.
AMANDA: Yeah,
JULIA: Like, the other stuff was par for the course, but gas station hot tub store? Okay.
AMANDA: That's a real combo, yeah.
ERIC: See, I think, I think that is, like, a Midwest trope of just, like, two businesses that aren't related in one building.
JULIA: Mmh.
ERIC: I used to go to a diner every Friday with my friend, Tim, at the local diner/drive thru car wash.
JULIA: Sure, why not?
AMANDA: I love that.
ERIC: So, I mean, it makes perfect sense. And you know what, wouldn't be surprised if that place also put a racial slur up outside
JULIA: Woops. Uh-oh.
AMANDA: Michael continues, "Before that happened, Worthington had a more wholesome claim to fame. It was the home of the world's largest underground mushroom farm."
ERIC: Oh, underground. I didn't know. I didn't know.
AMANDA: And I'd love to ask you guys not to Google anything because at the end, we're gonna Google a lot together. So, just like, Come with me on this journey.
JULIA: You got it.
ERIC: Mhmm.
AMANDA: Operates since 1937 in the bowels of an abandoned limestone quarry, Creekside Mushrooms once employed over 1000 workers around the clock. Supplies half the country's population with moonlight brand white button mushrooms.
JULIA: Wow.
ERIC: That's a lot.
AMANDA: And I invite you guys to Google right now, Moonlight White Button Mushrooms. It's packaging you'll definitely recognize from the supermarket.
JULIA: Okay, hold on.
ERIC: Oh, yeah. I, I, I know these mushrooms well.
AMANDA: You're just like, "Oh, yeah. You know the button mushrooms?"
JULIA: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: Unfortunately, Creekside ceased commercial production in the late 2000s. Maybe five or six years before I joined the company that owned it. The official story is they couldn't compete with modern mushroom farm, shout out to Kennett Square, after a mysterious mushroom virus began infecting their crops.
JULIA: Uh-oh.
AMANDA: And guys, when I first read this email, I just want to pull out of the story for a second and tell you I thought this is a short story Michael had written, and I was like, "You know what, this short story is so good. I'm going to air it on the podcast," and I did some fact checking, and it happened. So, the Avengers Movie filmed some underground chase scenes in this mushroom farm after they closed.
JULIA: What?
AMANDA: Like, it's a real place. Yeah.
JULIA: That's wild.
AMANDA: I know. It felt like the plot of a John Darnielle, like, midwestern horror novella. So anyway, just giving you that context.
JULIA: I feel like we should send this to the mountain goats and see if they make a full album about it. I feel like they would.
AMANDA: I mean, Moonlight Mushroom Farm is definitely the title of a feature mountain goats album.
JULIA: 100%.
AMANDA: John, consider it. Michael continues, "Being that Creekside was comprised of 150 miles of tunnels, layered three dimensionally in a labyrinthine maze. They had no way of completely sanitizing the facility, and once the virus was introduced, they were never able to recover. A small portion of the upper mines was kept operational, so the Spawn Production Plant could continue doing research on new strains and products." I just want to emphasize for us here the phrase Spawn Production Plant.
JULIA: Mhmm. Mhmm.
ERIC: Yeah, no. I'm getting big end of Resident Evil 7 vibes.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Vibes.
AMANDA: If the phrases mushroom virus, spawn production, or research on new strains make you uncomfortable, you might want to buckle up because I know the real reason that Creekside shut down. It's a story that few remaining farm workers rarely acknowledge, let alone talk about. And something you need to understand about the people in this area, they're the kind who if they don't understand or like what you're saying, will exchange looks at each other and stare at you until you either change a subject or leave.
JULIA: I feel like we should be doing more of that just in general.
AMANDA: Yeah. I feel like as New Yorkers, my, my thing is gonna be like, "The fuck did you just say?" Schneider, as a Midwesterner, how does this strike you?
JULIA: [10:12].
ERIC: I, yeah. I mean, yeah. Just a silent understanding that this person is, is making a bad choice.
JULIA: Mhmm. Mhmm.
AMANDA: Well, it wasn't until a colleague of mine had a few too many Icy Lights. Pause. What is that?
JULIA: Probably like, I feel like, our version of a Natty Light.
AMANDA: Yeah. Do you know this brand, Eric?
ERIC: I can't think of what that is. I... I feel like I've seen them though, but I can't think what that exactly is.
AMANDA: Iron City Light, does that sound right?
JULIA: Yes, it looks like Iron City Light. I'm just looking at beverages to you. Oh, yeah. I feel like I've seen this as well.
AMANDA: It's a Pittsburgh Ginny light. It's a Pittsburgh Natty Light. Okay.
JULIA: Makes sense.
AMANDA: Fun.
ERIC: Pennsylvania has very weird alcohol laws. A lot of their alcohol made in the state doesn't get out of state. Yuengling didn't get out of Pennsylvania or didn't go west--
JULIA: For a long time.
ERIC: --for like decades. Like,--
AMANDA: Oh, really.
ERIC: --in my lifetime Yuengling finally came into Ohio or you used to have to drive across the border to get it.
JULIA: That's wild.
ERIC: And then you couldn't buy it at, you had to, like, buy it in a bar. Like, you could go to a bar and get, like, a 12 pack but you, like, because they have very weird liquor laws in Pennsylvania, like, you couldn't just, like, go into, like, a beer and wine store.
AMANDA: Wow.
ERIC: It's a whole weird thing going on in Pennsylvania.
JULIA: Weird.
AMANDA: This is already spawning. So many good tangents.
JULIA: Okay.
AMANDA: All right. Well, it wasn't until a colleague of mine had a few too many Icy Lights at a holiday party years after I joined that I finally learned the truth. You see, the company that owned Creekside had a smaller more niche branch called the Bioproducts Division which worked with any and every fungus that wasn't button mushrooms.
JULIA: Here's the thing, this is just the lead into a science fiction horror. Like, I feel like we're just playing with fire kind of like Deep Blue Sea. Is that the name of the movie with the sharks where? What's his face?
ERIC: That's the name of a movie. I think it might have sharks.
JULIA: I'm just making sure it's, it's the one that I'm thinking of.
AMANDA: But no, this is very, like, pre-credits opening of a Marvel movie, where it zooms in on, like, a plate on the doorway that says like, "Bioproducts Division," and then zooms out as you see a disaster unfolding.
JULIA: Yeah.
ERIC: Mhmm.
JULIA: I mean, this is basically the plot of Deep Blue Sea but with mushrooms where it's like, "We as scientists are going to fuck with a thing that we know is probably dangerous just to see what happens." I know there is a point to the Deep Blue Sea. They're trying to cure Alzheimer's or something like that by making sharks incredibly smart. That seems like a great idea, anyway.
AMANDA: And people do legitimate biomedical research, but this as depicted in movies, I'm just like watching a horror movie unfold in my mind.
JULIA: 100%.
AMANDA: The two big projects that the Biproducts Division were working on were red yeast rice and blasé which are FDA approved health foods.
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: But for a time, they also dabbled in fungal insecticides.
ERIC: Love to dabble.
AMANDA: I know. Love to dabble.
ERIC: Love to, love a little dabbling.
AMANDA: Love dabbling in insecticides. Spores that when sprayed on corn and soybean seeds before planting infest and zombify any insects that try to feast on the nascent crops..
JULIA: That's a real thing.
AMANDA: You can google pictures if you want an extra nightmare or two. If not, just imagine an army of dead bugs covered in bright green mold.
JULIA: Mhmm. Mhmm.
AMANDA: Sometime in the late 90s, Bioproducts tasked Creekside with processing a new strain of killer spores called metarhizium. The stuff was highly effective but awful to work with. A whole tunnel in the upper mines was portioned off just to handle it, because the smell was so strong that anyone who worked with it developed migraines that could last for weeks. Trust me, I've smelled it before and it sucks. Everyone hated it and so the task was usually assigned to new hires when it came around. One day in the summer of 2007, one of the new hires up and vanished in the middle of her shift.
JULIA: Oh, boy.
AMANDA: The only description I got of her was she was from out of town, kind of short, and had a shock of bright red hair. By the end of the day, her car was still in the parking lot but no one had seen her for hours. The foreman tried writing her off as a deserter, but all of the workers who last saw her swore they saw her head deeper into the mines, not up and out.
JULIA: Oh, boy. I'm just, like, sitting here, like, you know workers deserve proper treatment and good rights and stuff like that.
AMANDA: The fact that worker desertion is the thing that the foreman is like, "Oh, yeah. One of those." Like, probably you should change some policies. That's my take away.
JULIA: Mhmm. Her car is still there.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: She literally didn't desert, my guy.
AMANDA: The farm is closed for less than a day while the local police looked for her.
JULIA: That's long enough.
AMANDA: Explaining to everyone that they could have only searched a fraction of the mines in that time, remember, 150+ miles of tunnels. And yet, their conclusion was, "Eh, she must have gone above ground and left without anyone noticing." The next day, when the farm reopened, her car was gone from the parking lot. She apparently hadn't registered an emergency contact with HR. So, the company washed their hands of it. At least they tried to.
JULIA: Did the company tow the car?
AMANDA: That's my guess.
JULIA: Oh, my gosh. A cover up.
AMANDA: Well, a couple of weeks later, all of upper management vanished for a few days without telling anyone where they were going.
JULIA: Hey, what?
AMANDA: Not a good vanish, a corporate off site vanish.
JULIA: But, like, still, not good.
AMANDA: I know. And when they came back, they had two major announcements. First, Bioproducts was no longer going to work with metarhizium or any insecticide.
JULIA: Oh, no.
ERIC: And secondly, they had all gained the third site.
AMANDA: Second, Creekside was to cease production by the end of the year. My colleague was convinced that these things were related.
JULIA: Probably. At that point, sure.
AMANDA: He said that the owners of the company, who were coal and oil barons that also happen to own half of the profitable businesses in the Tri County Area.
JULIA: Pennsylvania.
AMANDA: Allegedly have very close ties to both the police and the local news. If anyone can make a story vanish, it was them. Hence, farmworkers, eerie silence on the topic.
JULIA: Oh, boy.
AMANDA: I, however, was less convinced. Everything had a perfectly rational explanation, right? Maybe the girl developed a headache and went to leave only to realize, I don't know, her car was dead. She then called someone to pick her up, decided to quit, and had the car towed without saying anything to anyone. Besides, Bioproducts was never really profitable and changed products all the time. And in all honesty, Creekside was a 70-year-old facility that was kind of falling apart. It probably wasn't worth the effort or expense of dragging it into the 21st century. So, a little bit about me and how I fit into all of this, I was hired in 2013 as a research assistant for the company's mushroom breeding program.
JULIA: That's a very cool job.
AMANDA: It's a very cool job.
JULIA: It's a very good job, but in the context of this story, very bad for you.
AMANDA: Also, this happening six years after the disappearance is, like, exactly the right amount of time for somebody to be... to be, like, you know, the company thought that they were doing it all and now, you know, someone looks back at recent history and is like, "Wait, my job was almost exclusively above ground." Just a great phrase.
JULIA: Exclusively.
AMANDA: Creating new crosses based on genetic and morphometric data, while what remained active at Creekside, rebranded as the trial farm I mentioned earlier. It actually grew the crops that we evaluated. It wasn't bad for a first gig right out of college. After a couple of years, I was assigned the seemingly innocuous task of driving the 20 minutes from the lab to the trial farm to photograph our new strains once a week. Being an asocial person, Julia shaking her head, I preferred going down when no one else was milling about which meant either showing up at five in the morning or three in the afternoon.
JULIA: No. Bad. You need witnesses when the mushrooms eat you or whatever.
ERIC: Yeah. I mean this is, this is, like, just prime for just a variety of different horror tropes to begin.
JULIA: So good though. So quality. Really quickly want to pause because I guess I never thought about how, like, commercially grown mushrooms are grown commercially.
AMANDA: Yeah, right?
JULIA: And the fact that they convert former mines into basically mushroom farms is fascinating.
AMANDA: It makes total sense. As you can imagine, it was almost exclusively the latter. I'd usually show up at three in the afternoon, not five in the morning.
JULIA: Sure.
AMANDA: This routine continued for a couple more years without issue. Then on a Saturday evening, in late January of 2017. I received a text from my boss. According to a sensor that he could monitor remotely from his phone, the CO2 levels in one of the trial farms' grow rooms were through the roof.
JULIA: Don't go in there.
AMANDA: If "someone" didn't go down and reset the climate control mechanism, the crop would be ruined. And we'd have to wait months to regrow the material and try again. Someone, of course, was me.
JULIA: It's CO2. You can't just send a person down there.
AMANDA: So many red flags here. Your boss texting you, never good. Someone being sent down to do this. Oh, my god, the research will be ruined. My guy, it's a few months of stuff. That's not worth an employee's life. And I saw a tweet earlier today that was like, "Yeah, you know, work is different post pandemic because, you know, before you didn't necessarily know that, like, your boss would rather kill you than, like, deal with an inconvenience and sometimes that's true."
JULIA: Red flag.
ERIC: Yep.
AMANDA: It was still early in the evening when I left and I remember that the sky wasn't quite pitch black yet, but was getting there. I told my wife I should be back in less than an hour, assuming the CO2 sensor was the only thing that was acting up. Again, assuming it was the sensor and not the fucking environment here.
JULIA: Not actual CO2.
AMANDA: Not safe. Call fire rescue. Oh, my god.
JULIA: Call someone who has gas masks and stuff.
ERIC: Maybe I will be proven wrong, but I'd like to imagine they have some kind of suit they will be wearing. It's like an oxygen supply.
JULIA: You would fucking hope, right?
ERIC: So like, if it turns out that they're just walking in there with jeans and a t-shirt, I have far more concern, but I have to, I have to assume that this boss isn't asking them to do something ludicrously dangerous. I wouldn't be shocked if that is the case, but I do want to say like there is a pretty good chance that there could be like, "I put up my suit," in the next paragraph.
JULIA: I, I appreciate your optimism when it comes to these working conditions but it is literally in a mine. And if we know anything from mines, even if it's not, like, this person is a miner going into that mine. Mines are fucking dangerous, dude.
ERIC: Undeniably. I'm not saying that any of this is good. I'm just saying I think it might be a little bit better that we are, you know what I'm saying.
JULIA: I don't know about that.
ERIC: Just, just, just [19:40].
JULIA: I don't think we'd be hearing about it if it was better than we think it is.
AMANDA: I want to remind everybody that Michael makes it out. Michael is here now writing this email. Everything is fine. However, Eric, sorry to tell you not the case.
ERIC: Oh fuck me.
AMANDA: All right. So Michael continues, I told my wife I should be back in less than an hour. Cell service was patchy even before you got to the front gate. And once you were underground, no service at all.
JULIA: Of course.
AMANDA: 25 minutes later, I was parked in front of the old delivery dock which now served as a makeshift base of operations for the farm skeleton crew. The surrounding buildings, former cafeteria.
ERIC: Oh, now there's skeletons involved.
AMANDA: I know. I know.
JULIA: I was gonna make a joke, but I resisted.
AMANDA: Surrounding buildings, former cafeterias, and storage warehouses, and repair bays built into the side of the mine's opening were all boarded up and crumbling like a generic apocalyptic survival game. They apparently have been in disrepair for years, even before the shutdown, which at this point, was 10 years ago. So, if you knew anything about the owners, that wouldn't surprise you by the way.
JULIA: Mhmm.
AMANDA: I had it in through the only good door left on the building, which was amusingly enough, still kept locked when no one else was inside. I fished the key out of a nearby bush and went in.
JULIA: No.
ERIC: Hold on. Okay. Now that I have this information, that there's a key just sort out of a bush, there's definitely not a suit.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: If I knew about the key at the bush, I definitely would have suggested that there's... could be some safety precautions being taken.
JULIA: Yeah. If it was, like, I swiped my security card or used my key fob to get into the building, that's one thing. I fished a key out of a bush.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Yeah. Yeah.
AMANDA: Of course I put on my CO2 monitor. I put on my emergency air tank, you know?
JULIA: I grabbed my little canary in his little cage--
AMANDA: Exactly.
JULIA: --while going down.
AMANDA: Yeah, bungee cording myself to a safety harness. Yeah. The lights flickered and hummed to life a minute or so after I turned them on.
JULIA: A minute or so?
AMANDA: I was used to being there alone, but since I rarely came at night, there was an extra air of foreboding. It was a lot like walking through the halls of your high school at night after a late band practice. All of us nod. Yes, we know what that means.
JULIA: Mhmm. Mhmm.
AMANDA: Only most of the walls were marked with a bright red X that indicated you might get electrocuted if you touched them.
JULIA: Cool. This seems like a great work environment.
AMANDA: It didn't help that there was no climate control at all, except the heating kept to a bare minimum to keep the few remaining intact pipes from freezing.
JULIA: Sure.
AMANDA: Something soft bumped my leg as I made my way to the golf carts at the mouth of the mines.
JULIA: It's the cat. It's the cat. They mentioned the cat in the intro.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: It's the cat.
AMANDA: Everything's fine. It's a cat. I looked down to see a small orange cat sporting a dirty blue collar decorated with cartoonish mushrooms.
JULIA: Baby.
AMANDA: Hey, moonlight. I said to the cat, named in honor of the defunct brand.
JULIA: That's so good.
AMANDA: She meowed gently as I scratched behind her ear. Moonlight had been an employee of the farm since before I was hired. And she seemed to survive solely by hunting vermin in the dark recesses of the abandoned buildings.
JULIA: This is good. This is correct.
AMANDA: The keys were still in the ignition at the only good golf cart left. A mining helmet armed with the dim headlamp was already sitting in the passenger seat.
JULIA: No suit though.
AMANDA: No suit.
ERIC: Time to [22:30] suit.
AMANDA: Okay, tell me more. Tell me more
ERIC: It is possible that they have to reset this thing in an area where it's not the CO2 issue. It could be, like, the whole facility is flooded with CO2. It could be the area with the mushrooms is having an issue. Look, they make it out. Obviously, it's all right. I'm just saying.
JULIA: Michael's fine.
AMANDA: Michael's fine.
ERIC: Maybe, maybe it's not bad as I'm saying.
JULIA: I hope the cat is okay. This is my chief concern at this point.
AMANDA: Yeah. But I mean, like, I mean, it's like a fire alarm, right? Where, like, when you do fire drills, and when you do fire alarm testing, it's like, "Hey, this is annoying, but we're all gonna act like there's a fire."
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: Or if the alarm goes off and you're not sure of the source, you act like it's the worst case scenario. And I'm sure there are OSHA laws and Safety experts out there who are, like, slamming their heads against the steering wheels as they drive to work like, "No." You bring a monitor. Michael put on the mining helmet powered on the cart and drove down the ramp onto the upper mine level. The docks' metal roof was giving way to a natural limestone ceiling as you descended in further. Moonlight the cat stood at the top of the ramp watching me go. I've never seen her go down into the mines, and even though it was a balmy 65 degrees down there year round, she didn't follow me this time either. The next few minutes were pretty routine. I parked the car outside the offending metal shed that served as a makeshift grow room, powered the lights on, and was greeted by a perfectly normal looking crop of mushrooms. It turns out that the CO2 levels were in fact fine. It was the sensor that had malfunctioned, not the climate control. This was all pretty typical. I made a note to text my boss once I got cell service and thought to myself, "Man, at least my car will still be warm. I can get out of here now." I almost jumped out of my skin when something bumped my leg again. Stifling a scream, I aimed the headlamp down at my feet. It was Moonlight. How did she get here so quickly when I drove down the ramp?
JULIA: She's a fast cat. Cat is fast.
AMANDA: I didn't really have much time to think about it because the little orange cat was pacing around me frantically. As soon as she realized she had my attention, she darted toward the main road that led to the lower mines. Once she moved out of the headlamps' light, she started meowing incessantly. Now, I'm not an idiot, guys.
JULIA: Good.
AMANDA: I could practically hear the opening narration for half a dozen True Crime podcasts playing in the background as I decided what to do.
JULIA: Michael descended down into the mines. What he didn't know was that he wasn't going to come back up.
AMANDA: Plink, plink, plink, plink, plink. Following a cat into a partially abandoned limestone quarry was objectively a bad idea. However, the only other time I'd seen cats act like this was when they were trying to lead people to a new litter of kittens. Now, I've seen Moonlight a lot and she'd never seem pregnant, but I'm a mushroom breeder and not a vet. So, what do I know? There could be some kittens in there that really need help.
JULIA: The primordial pouch could just be babies.
ERIC: That's my favorite line from, from all those classic Star Trek episodes. I'm a mushroom breeder Kirk not a vet.
AMANDA: Now guys, I'm going to continue the story for only halfway through but first I'm going to need a second drink. Do you want to come get a refill?
JULIA: Let's get a refill.
ERIC: Yeah. Definitely.
AMANDA: Julia, we are taking a break here. We're... we're here in the Midroll, on the refill. We're hanging out. And frankly, I could stay here all day because I am wearing Brooklinen loungewear.
JULIA: Mmh.
AMANDA: And there's nowhere else I want to be. There's no other kinds of clothes I want to be in. And it is really, really nice to know that when I get home, I'm not going to want to, like, rip off uncomfortable clothes or undo a button or zipper as quick as possible because Brooklinen loungewear has no buttons or zippers. And I love that for them and me so much.
JULIA: Honestly, yes. Their stuff is so, so comfy.
AMANDA: I wear Brooklinen tanks under my tunics. I wear Brooklinen t-shirts with jeans. They're stylish, they're cute, you can mix and match. You're gonna feel comfy all day long, I promise you. They have, not only of course, ultra comfy loungewear, but they also now have bundle deals on their loungewear. So, you can get more comfort for less money. There's a reason they have over 75,000 5-star reviews and counting. Mine is one of them. Absolutely could not recommend them anymore. I have three of their olive green lounge t-shirt because I wear it pretty much every other day.
JULIA: I'm literally wearing one right now.
AMANDA: So, go ahead and get comfortable and get it for less at Brooklinen. Go to brooklinen.com and use promo code Spirits to get $20 off of the minimum purchase of $100. That's b r o o k l i n e n.com, and enter promo code Spirits for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. Once more, that's brooklinen.com, promo code: Spirits.
JULIA: Amanda, I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and we were in a Airbnb with a bunch of folks in the mountains and no one knew the town, and no one knew where we could get food from, but everyone wanted pizza real bad after we went to the rehearsal dinner. And you know what Amanda? DoorDash delivered. DoorDash put it right up to our door on a mountain.
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JULIA: Don't forget that's code creepycool for 25% off your first order with DoorDash. Subject to change, terms apply. So, as anyone who follows my Instagram knows, I got real into embroidery during the pandemic. And one of the best classes that I've ever taken, besides like the fact that like, Oh, you know, I looked at some stuff. I kind of figured stuff out for myself, but at one point I was like I need to, like, actually up my game. And of course, when I decided that I needed to learn actual skills, I went to Skillshare. And I took an incredible, incredible class called Painting with Thread: Modern Embroidery for Beginners with Danielle Clough. And oh my goodness, did I just kind of feel both super creatively charged and also, like, in awe of the stuff that she was creating, and then that I got to learn to create as well. And it's not just embroidery on Skillshare. You can take classes in illustration, design, photography, productivity, and more. And with their short classes, you can move your creative journey forward like I did when I recently took that class. And you can explore your creativity at skillshare.com/spirits. And our listeners get a one-month free trial of premium membership. So, that's one month for free at skillshare.com/spirits.
AMANDA: And now let's get back to the show. Guys, we're gonna get right back into Michael's story, don't worry, but first we are going to let you know what we're drinking. And I wanted to thank A Wild Squirtle, a listener of both Join the Party and Spirits who mailed us Witch's Brew, which is a wonderful mulled wine. So, it is mulled wine, like, in a bottle and then you heat it up and you drink it hot from the absolutely wonderful Leelanau Cellars. So, thank you so much for sending it to us. I put the sticker that the wine came with on my water bottle. So, now my water bottle says, Witch's brew. It's very tasty, thank you.
JULIA: I feel like I need to brand all of my drinking utensils. Is that correct? Drinking--.
AMANDA: Apparatus?
JULIA: Apparatus, Witch's brew, because it's--
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: --just correct.
AMANDA: It is so good. I'm sorry there's only one sticker but maybe we can, we can get more with more orders in the future.
JULIA: That's all right. The last time I had a mulled wine was when we had that going-away-party for our mutual friend, Kristen, in the park during COVID.
AMANDA: Oh, yeah. About a year ago, I bet.
JULIA: That was. Yeah, that was wonderful. Delicious.
AMANDA: So tasty.
JULIA: But also perfect for a cooler day.
AMANDA: And it is delicious. Thank you Squirtle and thank you mulled wine.
JULIA: Thank you mulled wine.
AMANDA: All right. So, Michael is standing in the makeshift shed, listening to Moonlight's meow as he's wondering what to do. All right, he writes, "The animal lover in me won the argument. I checked the battery levels on my cell phone and headlamp, which were both good enough for a small excursion. As soon as I moved toward her, Moonlight slinked off into the darkness. I followed on foot, afraid that the golf cart might spook her if I tried to follow, some combination of adrenaline and the monotony of the endless caverns made me kind of disassociate from the concept of time. So, I have no idea how long I followed her, how many blocked off or caved inside tunnels we passed as we traveled ever deeper through the bones of the earth.
ERIC: I do like that he's like, "I'm ready for a small excursion in the endless mines."
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Hey. Maybe be ready for a very large excursion, if you're going to describe the mines as endless.
JULIA: You can probably do 10 miles at the most Michael.
AMANDA: This is fully Jeff VanderMeer's, Annihilation. Like, we are fully, like, needing to have breadcrumb trails behind us, need to have a piece of string. Like, we're in like, House of Leaves here.
JULIA: Oh, boy.
AMANDA: This is, this is getting bad. Michael describes the old mining pads were a lot like a vascular system, with one wide artery at the top that branched exponentially into smaller capillaries.
JULIA: Hate that.
AMANDA: The whole time, Moonlight danced in and out of the bobbing beam of my headlamp, her cries periodically piercing the relative quiet of the caves. Abruptly, Moonlight dashed into a narrow chasm barely wide enough to walk through, and I nearly followed her before realizing my almost-mistake.
JULIA: Uh-oh.
AMANDA: Until now, I have been confident that I could find my way back out, but with this departure from the main road, I could easily get lost. I considered turning around then and there, but Moonlight was now crying constantly. We had to be close.
JULIA: Oh, no.
AMANDA: Thinking quickly, I detached the headlamp from my helmet and laid it on the ground aimed at the entrance of the passage to mark the way back.
JULIA: That's smart.
AMANDA: And then turn my phone's flashlight on before proceeding.
JULIA: Very smart. Very smart.
AMANDA: You get your horror movie points back, Michael. We see you not making bad choices. Proud of you.
JULIA: I was gonna be like, "Do you have, like, a thing of Reese's pieces in your pockets? You can--
AMANDA: Exactly.
JULIA: --leave a trail for yourself.
AMANDA: Unspool your sweater. Yeah. Like, thread by thread. So, at this point, I hadn't noticed anything odd about the smell of the mines.
JULIA: Oh.
AMANDA: It was the usual mixture of damp limestone and stale dirt, not entirely unlike an old cellar if you've ever been into one of those, but now that was being replaced by a new odor. It was sharp, earthy, with the faintest hint of sickly sweet decay. It wasn't putrid, like bad garbage or rotting meat. It was only barely familiar, and my eyes started to water slightly at the same time.
JULIA: It's the mushrooms. It's the mushrooms that they discontinued. I was about to be like, "Did he find the dead body, but he said it wasn't rotting."
AMANDA: Right. That's familiar. Michael has smelled this insecticide. It's all coming together. You see why I have this as a short story, I was like, "Oh. Surely this is just fake but no. This is so good."
JULIA: This is great.
AMANDA: Moonlight suddenly rounded a sharp corner and vanished from sight. I followed and as I adjusted the angle of the light, I nearly tripped over something hard and metallic with a loud thrum that echoed all around me as my foot connected. Flailing wildly to keep from falling, I scanned the ground in front of me to see what I'd hit. I figured it was an old piece of mining equipment or something, it wasn't. As my brain scrambled to process what I was seeing in those moments after entering the chasm, I'm sure I realized that Moonlight was nowhere to be seen. She'd stop meowing entirely, and so now my ears rang with the silence, but she was the least of my concerns now.
JULIA: What the fuck Moonlight? Where'd you go?
AMANDA: The thing I tripped over was a canoe.
ERIC: Hold on.
JULIA: What?
ERIC: Hold on.
JULIA: There's an underground river down here. People have been disappearing from the town.
ERIC: A canoe?
JULIA: If I had to guess the things.
ERIC: I think that is the least expected... the least expected mode of transportation that could have been said in this moment.
AMANDA: If Michael would have said a body, I'd be like, "Fair enough."
JULIA: Fair enough.
AMANDA: Fair enough.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Who would have guessed but still.
AMANDA: I was standing on the shore of an underground lake, hundreds of feet in diameter, much farther than I could see.
JULIA: What the fuck?
AMANDA: The waterline was mere inches from my shoes, at least I think it was. It was kind of hard to tell because every surface in the whole cavern was covered in a thick layer of bright green mold.
JULIA: Get the fuck out of there.
AMANDA: That of course is why I recognized the smell. A pressure built behind my eyes foretelling the coming of a headache, but I couldn't move because there was also something floating in the middle of the lake.
ERIC: Yes. A genetic shark. The sharks are back. I know those were part of Julia's movie reference, but I think the sharks are back.
JULIA: Jesus Christ.
AMANDA: The mold was so thick that it blanketed the fine details of whatever object was floating there, but I could tell even from 30 feet away that it was kind of human proportioned. As I started to see what it was, the utter noiselessness of the room I was in triggered my tinnitus and my ears began to ring.
JULIA: Oh, boy, here we go.
AMANDA: The ringing grew louder the longer I stared but I was absolutely transfixed. I was moving my flashlight around trying to hit a more revealing angle but it was no use. I held my breath to steady my shaking arm and can now hear my own heartbeat through the buzzing. It moved without warning.
ERIC: No. This is a true story you're telling me?
AMANDA: So, this is what happens next. So, Michael remembers the thing moving, that the... the water kind of rippled. It was like there was a, like a, kind of fog of spores in the air. And then, the next memory he has is looking out the windshield of his car on the highway back to his house.
JULIA: What the fuck?
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Yeah, great. Hey, Mike. Do not come within 500 feet of me.
JULIA: What had happened to the cat?
ERIC: You have been infected with some kind of Eldrick evil.
JULIA: Oh, no.
ERIC: Or some terrible Resident Evil pathogen. I love you but you can't, you can't do it. Can't come to the live shows. Can't do any of that. I don't need you anywhere. I'll trust you, man. I do not trust you. I'm sorry.
AMANDA: So listen, you know, I can completely understand how, particularly with tinnitus, if you walk from a very small tunnel into a very large room, pressure differences, optical illusion, you know, like, stuff is hard to see. The pressure changes. I could see, like, a migraine is building. I understand lots of reasons why, you know, this could or couldn't be fictional. This could or couldn't, you know, have appeared how he narrates it to us. I don't care. I'm along for the ride. I'm giving--
ERIC: Oh, yeah.
AMANDA: --Michael the benefit of the doubt, fuck me. I now, this also, like, this happened to me. This... this writing is so good.
JULIA: Yes.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Is this the end of the story?
AMANDA: There's a little bit more.
JULIA: Okay.
AMANDA: Again, Michael says that he, his next memory is staring out the windshield of his car, physically driving on the highway back to his house.
JULIA: What the fuck?
AMANDA: Yeah. He was drenched in sweat, shivering because it was cold. The back of his eyes were, like, itching and tight with pressure. And has no memory of anything in between those two things. It's like I don't know how I got back out. I don't know if I locked the door. Who knows? By the time he got home, he'd been gone for two hours. And he says, "My wife forgave my absence once I told her what happened. Ever the pragmatist, her first questions were about what I did with the headlamp and the golf cart. Of course she... she didn't really care but she had correctly guessed that my boss would be at least a little bit curious if not, like, mad at me for leaving a cart down there.
JULIA: Report the situation, Michael.
AMANDA: Well, we both agreed I couldn't tell anyone at work the story without sounding like I was making it up.
JULIA: What?
AMANDA: So, I came up with a convincing partial truth to share with the lab on Monday. I went down to the grow room to check on it. I would say, I thought I smelled mold, went exploring, lost my headlamp, and by the time I got back to the golf cart, it refused to start, and I was so flustered that I left without locking the door. I thought this was a believable story. So, I went with it.
JULIA: That's also assuming that you didn't grab the headlamp or take the golf cart out. You can't remember that period of time. You might have done both of those things.
AMANDA: Yes. I thought that was a believable story. I told my boss, he was understanding and joked that he'd have one of the workers go find the headlamp. So, I didn't need to buy the company a new one.
JULIA: Jesus fucking Christ.
AMANDA: I spent the rest of the week figuring out how I was going to get out of ever taking pictures and going to the mine again. Turns out, I didn't have to worry about that. My boss took an unannounced leave of absence at the end of that week.
JULIA: Why does this keep happening?
AMANDA: No one knew where he went, not even his secretary. The following Monday, I was greeted with an email stating that the owners were selling the company and that effective immediately, Creekside was being condemned over "Safety concerns."
JULIA: So, they 100%, the guy who he sent down there to get the shit ,100% found the body that was in the middle of the lake, right? Like, we're all in agreement here?
AMANDA: We're all in agreement here.
ERIC: Well, what if the body found him.
AMANDA: Right.
JULIA: I just gave Eric such a look. Where it's like, goddamn you sir.
AMANDA: Listen, if everyone's getting paid off, I'm sorry Michael didn't get paid off, that, you know, here we are.
JULIA: Have to remember those weird fugue states that you go into, otherwise they won't pay you the big bucks.
AMANDA: But I mean, imagine, like, if I caught a body cam I mean, Michael would have been disappeared too. So, we're, we're glad Michael's okay.
ERIC: Mhmm.
AMANDA: The trial farm was going to be relocated to a more modern building. Recently vacated ever since the Bioproducts department got their own facility closer to Pittsburgh. I could walk to the new farm from the lab, which was really nice.
JULIA: Okay. All right.
AMANDA: Amid the chaos of the sale and relocation, I all but forgot my final day in Creekside as I had the story of the missing woman. And being a progressive socialist in the heart of Trump country, I was kind of disinclined to talk to many of the remaining colleagues behind, you know, exchanging polite greetings for the last few years of time. Even that seemed like it was kind of asking too much sometimes because I felt that the crews' attitude toward me had grown kind of icy, but I attributed it to that one time I wore a pride shirt around them and thought fair enough.
JULIA: That'll do it.
AMANDA: This brings us to a couple weeks ago.
JULIA: Very quickly, before we go to a couple weeks ago. I just love our listeners.
AMANDA: I love our listeners too.
JULIA: The demographic of our listeners. Mwah, chef's kiss.
ERIC: Very good.
AMANDA: I love you guys.
ERIC: Very good.
AMANDA: So, this all brings us to a couple weeks ago in August of 2021, this is my real life update.
ERIC: What happened now?
JULIA: What happened now, Michael?
ERIC: Why is there an update?
JULIA: He said there was a real life update at the beginning, but I thought that this story was the real life update.
ERIC: I know. I forgot. I was too enthralled with the situation.
AMANDA: So, thanks to the "Labor shortage." *Employers can't keep just fucking, like, not paying people enough and, and, like, putting them in dangerous situations.* That's... it's not a labor shortage. Anyway, I was asked to spend a day at the new trial farm, helping out. The worst part was running out of things to talk about with the crews there after about five minutes.
JULIA: Mhmm.
AMANDA: Time had tempered my feelings and memories somewhat about that night. And I was left with a question that I never gotten an answer to. I decided that now that I was there, it was a good a time as any to ask. "Hey, I asked the room. Whatever happened to Moonlight?" I was met with an all too familiar wall of blank stares and very pointed shared glances.
JULIA: I'm sorry. If I was in a room, where everyone's giving each other, like, knowing looks, I'm be like, "All right, now you fuckers have to tell me. You can't just, like, look at each other be like, Moonlight."
AMANDA: Well, what went through Michael's head was, I remembered that I named that cat and I never really, like, said its name to anyone else. So, I pressed the question. You know, like, the little cat that was in Creekside. Does anyone know what had happened to her? One of the women spoke up after what felt like an eternity. Her response cracked the dam on a deluge of memories I tried for so long to keep backed up. They washed over me, filling in the gaps to a story that I was kind of unprepared to see.
JULIA: Oh, no.
AMANDA: Both times Creekside was shut down, first partially and then completely. It had been precipitated by unexplained events occurring deep underground involving those spores. Was the reason the farm crew became cold toward me the same reason they never talked about that missing woman? What were the owners so afraid of down there? What were they trying to hide? If we're lucky, the world may never know because my coworker said to me in a blunt entire tone. "What cat?"
JULIA: Oh. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.
ERIC: Okay.
JULIA: I just want to cry now, after the story.
AMANDA: Are we uncovering a decade's long conspiracy? Are we reading a good creepypasta? I don't care.
JULIA: Honestly, I fully believe this because capitalism is a scourge upon society. And also, definitely could just be the beginning of our own zombie apocalypse.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: Because God knows, that stuff was basically for treating stuff and turning insects into zombies. Who knows if it went beyond insect biology?
AMANDA: And such a history of Pennsylvania and Appalachia being completely run bare, you know, by, like, mining companies and other extractive capitalism and leaving behind, like, extremely unsafe mines. Like underground tunnels we have talked about on the show before. All kinds of health concerns.
ERIC: Pennsylvania, a hole will open up anywhere in Pennsylvania--
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: --at any moment. That is Sinkhole Country over there.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: It's just like, it's just you'll just be walking along here. Now you're in a hole.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: I thought you meant like a hellhole. Like, an entrance, a portal to hell.
ERIC: I mean, maybe. One of them has got to have one of them in there.
JULIA: This could have been that.
ERIC: Yeah. So, like, I mean, so many, like, very well documented abuses of, like, workers and land and power that is, like, tied in with this. My God.
JULIA: Yep.
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: Yep.
ERIC: Wow. I love this story. It has lots of different vibes. I mean, for me, it has big Resident Evil vibes, because I recently played a few of those games. But like, I mean, everything about it is just so good. I mean, the only thing that was missing is, like, that, instead of a canoe, you, like, trip over, like, an M70 Assault Shotgun and just have to start fighting. That's the only difference between this and the start of a Resident Evil game, as far as I'm concerned.
JULIA: Who brought the canoe down there, though?
ERIC: Yeah, that's a good question.
AMANDA: Who brought the canoe?
ERIC: Because, like, if there weren't lights. Maybe, presumably, I think people were sacrificing something to that thing in the lake. And they had to take a canoe out there and, and do something.
JULIA: I think that the thing in the middle of the lake was the body of the woman that went missing who got, like.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Ultra infected. And so, by putting her in the middle of the lake, they could, like, stop her from spreading to the rest of society.
ERIC: You know, that makes a lot of sense, and I hate it more than my made up--
JULIA: Thank you.
ERIC: --bad idea. So, let's not explore that anymore.
AMANDA: I can't decide what's better/worse. If this has a paranormal element or if this is, like, human beings, inescapable cruelty and, like, desire to subjugate each other under capitalism, you know?
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: I mean, I'm getting incredible, obviously, Annihilation vibes of, you know, mold, at, like, pathogen, you know? The, like, creep of mold, and fungus, and mushrooms. And like, the loaminess. Instead of an apocalyptic barren wasteland, like, nature reclaiming or human meddling in science, like, that always gets me. And I think I would not have wanted to read this story personally or on the show earlier in the pandemic, but at this point, I've kind of, like, adjusted my reality enough that I'm like, "Mhmm. Yeah. Nope. Like, that makes sense. Like, spores are the scariest version of a story.
JULIA: 100% true.
ERIC: Also, what, what makes the story feel all the, the, the spookier and, and both believable or not believable, depending on how you want to read it. It's like the fact that, like, something happens and then like, everybody disappears for a little bit. And then they're, like, "Okay, we're done here. Bye. See you later." Like, it's very much, like, sloppy cover-up.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: But as we know, most cover-ups are done quite sloppily.
JULIA: Mmh.
ERIC: Like, most cover ups aren't very good, because we learned about them.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: So, I mean, that rigs really, really, really true.
JULIA: Yeah. I love and hate this story for many, many reasons.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: Listen, this was a wild ride. This podcast is for entertainment and community. We can't independently verify any of these particular details. It's all alleged. I don't know. I feel like I should give some kind of legal disclaimer. Michael, we're so grateful that you wrote into us. This has been incredible entertainment for us, and I think thought provoking and interesting for our listeners. We're so glad you're well.
JULIA: Yeah. I'm glad you're not--
ERIC: Yeah.
JULIA: --also a, a mushroom zombie now.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Isn't that the plot of The Last of Us?
ERIC: Yeah, yeah.
JULIA: Okay, cool.
ERIC: The fungal. There's a fungal thing--
JULIA: Fungal zombies there.
ERIC: --that gets everybody.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: The plot of The Last of Us is much more about how terrible humans are and how terrible fungal monsters are.
JULIA: Sure, sure, sure. But I mean, the... the bad guys.
ERIC: Yes, yes. But the, the backing setting is, is fungal monsters.
JULIA: Gotcha. Cool.
ERIC: Also, there's a strong woman in it, which just simply isn't possible, but that's why it's really science fiction.
JULIA: Yes, clearly.
AMANDA: Well, thank you again, Michael. We're glad you're okay. We're glad you're a conspirator. To kind of, like, give us a little palate cleanser and help transition us all back into the, into the, the daily reality of our lived existence, I had a very sweet listener job email from Emily. Y'all want to hear that?
JULIA: Yeah, I love job listener emails.
AMANDA: I know, amazing. So, she writes, I was listening to an old hometown urban legends episode and thought of something interesting to share with you. I work for a glass wholesaler as a production artist, which means I am one of the people who make sure that the client's art prints well on the item that they pick.
JULIA: Ooh.
AMANDA: Like a little art Gremlin, diligently working behind the scenes to make sure everything turns out good.
JULIA: That's adorable.
AMANDA: Now, it may not seem apparent why I would think to tell you about my job after listening to a Hometowns episode. And to be fair, I haven't told you who our main clientele are. I work mostly from Micro Breweries and Distilleries.
JULIA: Hell yeah.
AMANDA: So, when I heard the name of one of the breweries that I just did glass for come up in an episode, I had to laugh.
JULIA: That's so cool.
AMANDA: Since then, it's become a little game for me during your show to listen for the name of the distillery or brewery and see if I recognize them.
JULIA: Oh, that makes me so happy.
ERIC: That's cool.
AMANDA: So, that's how I came to write in. And I'll just close out with a brief description of one of our more interesting processes and a question that you might have fun answering. Have you ever come across a glass with a design etched into the bottom of it?
JULIA: Sure.
AMANDA: That is called Nucleation, and it's laser etched into the glass by a machine.
JULIA: That's cool.
AMANDA: Nucleation actually has two purposes. So, the first is aesthetic. The second and less apparent one is bubble generation.
JULIA: Oh.
AMANDA: The little grooves created by the process result in more surface area for CO2 bubbles to form off of, but too much detail makes the beverage go flat too quickly.
JULIA: Interesting.
AMANDA: Isn't that cool? So like, picture like, doing like, a letter. Like a stamp on an envelope.
JULIA: Mhmm.
AMANDA: But like, if the stamp pushed the envelope up a little bit, like, atomically then if you have too many of them, there's too many bubbles and then they bubble up all over the place, and then it goes flat. But if there's just enough, then it helps with the... the bubbling of the beverage.
JULIA: That's so cool. I always wondered why they, like, kind of engraved the, like, glass bubbles at the bottom of beer bottles. That makes sense now.
AMANDA: Yeah. And Emily continues, the other interesting thing about nucleation is that the lines of the design never cross over the same point twice. Doing so would create faults in the glass and result in breakage or flaws.
JULIA: That makes sense.
AMANDA: And that is nucleation which I think is one of the coolest processes that I do at my job.
JULIA: I love that, like, art has to meet math sometimes.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Where it's like, it's a really cool design but you crossed over too many times and now the bottle is gonna break.
AMANDA: And then, that brings me to my final question. If you had to come up with a brewery or distillery name, what would it be? I've come up with some wild ones at my job and want to hear what you come up with. Stay creepy and cool. Emily, the art Gremlin.
JULIA: I always had this idea and this was more for a cheese thing, but I feel like it also could apply to a brewery. I always liked the idea of, like, making the, like, SAT Cheese company or the SAT brewery. And all of the cheeses/beers are named after like SAT words, where it's like--
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: --words you wouldn't use unless you were, like, studying for the SATs.
AMANDA: And you can also displace the SEO for that, like, very corrupt private institution, you know, that like, upholds racism in the US. Oh, yeah. I love that.
ERIC: I need to think for a second.
AMANDA: Now, I'm, I'm named Multitude and so that was the, the kind of like, big project umbrella, you know, name that I had been ruminating on. It comes from a Walt Whitman poem which is kind of the... the place that I looked to, to draw inspiration. So, I feel like I haven't thought of, like, a second one of those, but I'm gonna think on it now.
JULIA: We went through a lot of stinkers before you, you settled on Multitude too.
AMANDA: Yeah, really did. Like, hundreds and hundreds of names and word association and just like, "Is this good?"
JULIA: It wasn't. None of them were good.
AMANDA: No. None of them were good.
ERIC: Our late dog, Arnold.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: Maybe name a beer after a brewery after him. He's pretty good. I mean, I feel like all our dog names are pretty, pretty Henry and Herb brewery.
AMANDA: Yeah.
ERIC: It would be pretty good, I think. So, I mean, maybe something, maybe something like that.
JULIA: That would actually be really good. I would buy a beer from that.
AMANDA: I mean, you could call it like, Is there a... a term of affection for Boston Terriers?
ERIC: Not Hey, dummy.
JULIA: Hey, dummy.
AMANDA: Well, I was thinking like pitbulls, people call them pitties, you know, or something like that but.
ERIC: I mean, I think people just call them Bostons. I don't think anyone, I don't think there's, there's a way to shorten it much more.
AMANDA: Well, unfortunately for that particular breed of dog, I think that name is kind of taken up but normally I would suggest, like, Boston Terrier Brewing Co. And then all your different lines, you know, and, and--
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: --brews could be named after people's adorable dogs.
ERIC: Yeah.
AMANDA: Well, I may have to think on mine, and conspirators if you, if you want to tag us on, on Insta or on Twitter, share what you would name your brewery or distillery. And if you're an artist, that's amazing. Show us your logo. I'd love to see that.
JULIA: You're an artist. That's cool. We love that for you.
AMANDA: More like, I think it's so amazing when people can just, like, sketch out something awesome. I'm like, I don't have that skill at all.
JULIA: Mhmm. Mhmm.
AMANDA: All right. Well, with our minds successfully lifted out of Creekside with--
JULIA: Are they?
AMANDA: --Emily, the Art Gremlin's wonderful question. Ah, guys, be careful out there. Don't let your boss put you in a situation that might kill you. And remember.
JULIA: Stay creepy.
AMANDA: Stay cool. Spirits was created by Amanda McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, and Eric Schneider with music by Kevin MacLeod and visual design by Alison Wakeman.
JULIA: Keep up with all things creepy and cool by following us @spiritspodcast on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr. We also have all of our episode transcripts, guest appearances, and merch on our website. As well as a forum to send us in your urban legends, and your advice from folklore questions at spiritspodcast.com.
AMANDA: Join our member community on Patreon, patreon.com/spiritspodcast for all kinds of behind-the-scenes goodies. Just $1 gets you access to audio extras with so much more like recipe cards with alcoholic and non-alcoholic for every single episode, director's commentaries, real physical gifts, and more.
JULIA: We are a founding member of Multitude, an independent podcast collective, and production studio. If you like Spirits, you will love the other shows that live on our website at multitude.productions.
AMANDA: Above all else, if you liked what you heard today, please text one friend about us. That's the very best way to help keep us growing.
JULIA: Thanks for listening to Spirits. We'll see you next week.
AMANDA: Bye.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai