Episode 386: Your Urban Legends - Unknowable, Eldritch Pronouns (with Mischa Stanton)
/We’re joined by editor extraordinaire and podcast pro, Mischa Stanton. And we brought a bunch of stories that are Mischa-coded: LARPing, summer camps, and unknowable pronouns. And of course, the logical conclusion to any story: Giant Doorknob.
Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of paranoia, anxiety, spiders, animal death, bodily functions, and family member death.
Guest
Mischa Stanton is a storyteller & sound designer based in LA. They’ve worked in theatre, live music, museum installations, short films, animation, commercial events, award shows, and even a Renaissance Faire! They’re probably most known for their work in podcasts, on shows like LeVar Burton Reads, The Bright Sessions, and MARVELS, as well as a BOATLOAD of shows right here at Multitude! Check out their newest project, The Wandering Path, available to subscribe now wherever you listen to podcasts - first episodes drop May 13th!
Housekeeping
- Recommendation: This week, Julia recommends Game Changer on Dropout
- Books: Check out our previous book recommendations, guests’ books, and more at https://spiritspodcast.com/books
- Call to Action: Check out Exolore today!
Sponsors
- Marley Spoon: For up to 25 free meals, head to MarleySpoon.com/SPIRITS and use code SPIRITS
- CrunchyRoll Presents: The Anime Effect explores anime and the way it shows up throughout our world. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.
Find Us Online
- Website & Transcripts: https://spiritspodcast.com
- Patreon: https://patreon.com/spiritspodcast
- Merch: https://spiritspodcast.com/merch
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/spiritspodcast
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/spiritspodcast
- Tumblr: https://spiritspodcast.tumblr.com
- Goodreads: https://goodreads.com/group/show/205387
Cast & Crew
- Co-Hosts: Julia Schifini and Amanda McLoughlin
- Editor: Bren Frederick
- Music: Brandon Grugle, based on "Danger Storm" by Kevin MacLeod
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: https://multitude.productions
About Us
Spirits is a boozy podcast about mythology, legends, and folklore. Every episode, co-hosts Julia and Amanda mix a drink and discuss a new story or character from a wide range of places, eras, and cultures. Learn brand-new stories and enjoy retellings of your favorite myths, served over ice every week, on Spirits.
Transcript
[theme]
AMANDA: Welcome to Spirits podcast, a boozy dive into mythology, legends and folklore. Every week we pour a drink and learn about a new story from around the world. I'm Amanda.
JULIA: And I'm Julia. And hey, it's another urban legends episode. What up, my people, my spooky, spooky people?
AMANDA: Featuring not only our senior audio editrix here at Multitude, that is their official job title, it's senior audio editor. But you know, you can make it fancy when you want to. But also the—the creator of a new podcast you should know about, it's Mischa Stanton.
MISCHA: Hi, everybody. Thanks so much for having me. And so— I'm so psyched to be back.
AMANDA: Amazing. Mischa, what have you been working on?
MISCHA: Thank you so much, and I'm so glad you asked. Thank you for asking. I've been working really hard on a new actual play podcast—
AMANDA: Yay.
MISCHA: —that combines like a lot of the stuff I really admire, about things I really like, and things I've learned making podcasts for a bunch of years and tries to combine them into something really fun with my friends and a really cool improvised story. It's called The Wandering Path and it's coming this month, next month, something like that.
JULIA: Wee. Yeah, something like that. I'm— I'm very excited. I got a sneak peek, listened to it. It's delightful. I love it. I love all the energy. I love the characters. I love the storytelling. I love the stuff that's very clearly inspired by Kingdom Hearts.
MISCHA: Like, it's so Kingdom Hearts. Like, it's a little bit weirdly Kingdom Hearts.
JULIA: Hey, listen, we don't pick our inspirations. We're just here living in our world.
MISCHA: They pick us.
AMANDA: They do pick us. And Mischa, every time you're on the show, I try to curate the stories for you as best I can. So I— you know, I—
MISCHA: Is there a stor— is there an urban legend about Kingdom Hearts?
AMANDA: There isn't, but I'm trying really hard to come up with a way that I could sort of, like, put in a— a reference, so I'll— I'll see how I go.
MISCHA: Okay.
JULIA: Let's do it.
AMANDA: Let's do it. Well, the first one, the first story I have to share today comes from Violet, she/her, and the subject of this email is Dream Lake Creatures. Pronoun fairytale.
MISCHA: Hmm.
JULIA: Okay, okay. I'm into it. I'm into it.
AMANDA: Violet writes, "Hi Spirits friends and family members. My name is Violet, and I'm writing in to tell you about the dream I had last night. Now, this came hot and fresh folks at the kitchen from August of last year, so it's a real like, end of summer big, you know, dreamy, like sticky summer night dream, which to me always has the quality being a little bit closer to the dreamscape than other times of year."
JULIA: Can you tell Amanda is a Shakespeare person?
MISCHA: Oh, yeah. There's something about the air more closely matching your body temperature that really bleeds the li— the barriers.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: Thank you, Mischa. Is that why at the end of a long recording session in a sound isolated room I feel a little bit dead?
MISCHA: Yeah.
JULIA: Cool, cool, cool.
AMANDA: So Violet writes, "Thank you so much for everything you're doing, first of all. I vibe with the show on an atomic level as a nerdy little high school bi."
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: "Everything from the creepy cool cryptids and myths to the speech and debate references, shout out Lincoln Douglas, have made me feel so excited and welcomed by the content you create, so thank you."
JULIA: Good job, Amanda. You got to talk about debate team more, I think. We got to get those debate team kids in.
AMANDA: You know, most of my time in debate was spent being the only girl, which I— I have to admit I really enjoyed as a problematic teen girl. And also quoting Locke and Hobbes without really understanding why. And why didn't no one let me quote marks? Why was my— why was my like 28-year-old high school English teacher not giving me the Communist Manifesto and saying, "Here you should have this."?
JULIA: You know why.
MISCHA: Because perhaps you were doing debate club in America.
JULIA: Hmm.
MISCHA: Oh.
AMANDA: Yeah. No, you're right.
MISCHA: You do not like a color mark is here.
AMANDA: No, we don't. So, onto the story, "Normally, I don't listen to Spirits while going to sleep. Your myths can sometimes be too creepy for my paranoid brain. So it was something—"
JULIA: Fair.
AMANDA: "—new when I put on your latest episode about the tempest to fall asleep, too." He picked up on the vibes, Julia.
JULIA: I— I knew, I knew the Shakespeare kiddos would love it. I just knew it.
AMANDA: Uh-huh.
JULIA: It's why I wanted to do that series so badly.
AMANDA: "Last night, sometime between drifting off and being woken by my cat half an hour before my early alarm—"
JULIA: Classic.
AMANDA: "—I dreamt I was in a forest. It was heavily wooded with furs and oaks, thick layers of moss and ferns on the ground, and bordered by a lake. The plot of this dream was unclear when I woke up, but I think it followed a fairy tale structure where I went about a few tasks and then asked an innocuous question to something in the lake."
JULIA: No question is ever innocuous in a fairy tale, that's the problem.
AMANDA: You're right. That's kind of fairy tale logic, isn't it? That nothing is innocuous.
JULIA: Everything has meaning, everything has purpose.
MISCHA: Yeah. Well, that's just economy of words, you know what I mean? Like, that's just storytelling.
AMANDA: That's true, that's true.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: "The thing in the lake was humanoid, but pale and gaunt, with pure black eyes and a distinctly inhuman mouth draped in seaweed. It was almost Kelpie like, but despite its horrifying appearance, its presence felt very comforting and familiar. And whatever it was belonged in the lake, and I could just tell it was a source of wisdom. So the question I asked was something similar to, 'What are your pronouns?'" Which we love a pronoun conscious, you know, narrator." Folks, what do we think of this? Would you ever in a million years, in a fairy tale or a dream, stop to ask or is this— is this great? Is this what we should be doing?
JULIA: I think it really falls under the category of like— Mischa is my—my DM in my home campaign of Dungeons & Dragons.
MISCHA: Going six years strong.
JULIA: Six years strong, baby. But I think that, like, asking a villain like either their pronouns or like their name in the middle of combat is a very fun thing to do to throw your DM off guard.
MISCHA: Julia loves to do this. I'm in the middle of my villain monologue, and she's just like, "Oh, and by the way, sorry, what are your pronouns?" And I cut off mid—
JULIA: What's your name?
MISCHA: —cuts me off at the legs up.
JULIA: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So I— I think that we should be asking more mysterious creatures, both their names and pronouns in fairytale experiences. That's my hot take.
AMANDA: Okay. Mischa, as the recipient of such questions, what do you think?
MISCHA: Yeah. So what I think is that most people should just default to your eminence.
JULIA: Yeah, that's true.
AMANDA: Hmm. This is good.
MISCHA: And then wait for their foot attendants and servants to offer their pronouns and then pick up on that.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: That's very good. And I mean, you can't go wrong by addressing a being by their name, right? Like, you know, you just—
MISCHA: Yeah.
AMANDA: —you—
MISCHA: Your eternal glory, your— you know, just like— like some really deep—
AMANDA: Yeah.
MISCHA: —title of deference, you know what I mean? Just like—
AMANDA: Your magnificence. I love it. Your radiance, I'm gonna go on.
MISCHA: Your radiance is a really good one, especially for holy spirits.
JULIA: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
AMANDA: "So I asked, 'What are your pronouns?' It replied with something vague, but fitting that I can't quite seem to recall." Now, Violet, Violet, what's the point? Is it— is it your eminence? Is it your radiance? Is it your— your seaweed-est. What is it?
MISCHA: It honestly sounds like the being responded in pronouns no mortal tongue can speak.
JULIA: Yes. Violet unlocks new pronouns and we just don't know or rediscovered, you know, ancient pronouns.
AMANDA: We like it.
JULIA: One or the other.
MISCHA: I wish we could have them. I would— I would like those pronouns. How do I do that?
JULIA: Yeah. I get it.
AMANDA: Very nice Violet-coded to be like, "My pronouns are a indecipherable scream”
MISCHA: Yeah.
JULIA: My pronouns are— and then Bren insert like a unholy noise here for about three seconds.
AMANDA: Yeah. Just— just bring just right now. Thank you.
[Horror-movie noise]
JULIA: And those are my pronouns.
AMANDA: Oh, okay.
MISCHA: That's a mood.
JULIA: Yeah.
MISCHA: That's my gender.
AMANDA: That's my gender. I love it. So, "In the dream, I walked through the woods for a while longer before returning to the lakeside and posing the same question with the same reply. I had conversations with my friends who were nearby in the dream and then returned for the third and final time to ask my question. This time when I said what are your pronouns, the being responded, 'What do you think, my dear?'"
JULIA: Well, they did tell you twice at this point. It's a little rude you forgotten, you know?
AMANDA: I know. "I can't fault the being, both its reply and it's deviation from our established back and forth surprised me. But at that point in the dream, it ended, and I never gave it an answer. The question wasn't just about what I thought of it, but what I thought of myself. I share that throughout our three-fold conversations, it never once moved its mouth to speak." Pretty cool.
JULIA: Spooky.
MISCHA: Uh-hmm. Very Princess Mononoke spirit.
AMANDA: "Now, maybe the dream was a result of back to school stress and too much Shakespeare, or maybe I met something important in the dream world. But either way, that is my creepy, coolest story so far, excluding the auspicious light bulb-flickering, door-slamming, spooky creeks that probably just come with living in an old house."
JULIA: Hmm. Probably.
MISCHA: I find that often in my dreams no matter what the— the aesthetic, or the things that my mind paints a portrait with, if you will.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
MISCHA: That it's always about me trying to do something and never really achieving it. It's always like, "I got to do this thing," and it's the process of trying to do it and you never get there, and then you wake up.
JULIA: That seems like a conversation to have with your therapist, bud. I'm gonna say that right now off the top of my head.
MISCHA: Fair, but also, I guess, what a podcast for.
JULIA: Yeah, that's fair.
AMANDA: And I think there is a real dream logic to that, where, like, you wake up before you die or go off a cliff—
MISCHA: Right.
AMANDA: —or you know, like, reach something really important. You're about to open the door—
MISCHA: Yeah, that—
AMANDA: —and your mind wakes you up. That strikes me as very, like, normative of dreams. Mine are always just very mundane stress dreams about like doing something I need to do tomorrow and I'm worried about.
MISCHA: A lot of mine tend to be about trying to find someone at a very infinitely large party to tell them something, and I can't quite find them or what room they're in.
JULIA: That's stressful.
AMANDA: Oh. Well, Mischa, that's— that's— that's anxiety-producing. I don't like that.
MISCHA: Well, that's dream sometimes.
JULIA: That— that'd be dreams sometimes, for sure. Amanda, it's funny that you were like, "Hey, what I'm going to do is I'm going to specifically pick ones that are very Mischa-coded".
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: Because I did the same thing without asking you.
AMANDA: Hooray.
MISCHA: It's a Mischa party, let's go
JULIA: It is a Mischa party. Mine is titled, The Fae borrowed my flower crown at a LARP."
AMANDA: Well—
MISCHA: Yes.
AMANDA: —nothing more Mischa than that.
MISCHA: What a— immediately right away, what a good place for a fairy to blend in entirely. Continue.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: Yeah, facts. So this is from Cobweb, she/ they, and they write, "Hello, spooky people. I've been listening to you guys for years from my first adult job to grad school, and now, a slightly better-paying adult job."
AMANDA: Hey.
JULIA: "I've written in before, but this is my first urban legend, so does it even count?"
MISCHA: Yes.
JULIA: "You asked for more urban legends, so you're getting mine. This happened a couple of years ago while I was an NPC for a large blockbuster LARP. I'll do my best to remember the details."
MISCHA: Awesome.
JULIA: "Now, this LARP was based on a wizard college and had easily a couple 100 people participating. A historic, think colonial times university, was rented to use as the setting and we all stayed in dorms on the campus."
AMANDA: Okay. Can I ask some clarifying questions here?
JULIA: Great.
AMANDA: So I've— I've not done a lot of, like, rent fair LARP experiences.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: So the person writing in was like a background actor, for lack of a better phrase? Like, that's what they mean by NPC?
MISCHA: Yeah.
JULIA: Yes. So when they— they're talking about NPC, they're talking about, like, someone who is associated with the LARP in like a— like, acting capacity rather than being one of the participants, I think.
AMANDA: Got it.
MISCHA: Kind of like the equivalent of like a con volunteer.
JULIA: Hmm. Oh, sure. Except in character all the time.
MISCHA: Yeah. Except, like they're— like, you're— you're sort of given like a— a short little bit of narrative and, like, what purpose you serve to people who are playing the game.
JULIA: Yes.
AMANDA: Cool. And it's— it's sort of immersive. And like when you're on the clock, you're, like, around or like, at your post or whatever, and then the guests are sort of, like, walking around type thing.
JULIA: Yeah.
MISCHA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: Okay.
JULIA: Kind of like immersive theater, where you have the actors and the rest of you are just like, "And tell me how your father died in prison?" "Well, let me tell you." So she continues, "Everyone participating did their best to keep everything as, quote-unquote, "made up as possible." So no actual rituals or spells or appropriation." Great. "This is very important, especially since we were using such an old setting that had a lot of history to it, and was def haunted AF."
AMANDA: Hmm.
JULIA: "I helped a lot with the costuming, and since I lived in town, I brought bins and bins of my own stuff to use. I've always been interested in the fae and folklore, and often had fae-based characters when I LARP, which led to a lot of different costume pieces. There was a plotline involving one of the student players summoning the wild god of the forest. I think that's what it was, but I'm not— I wasn't part of that plot, so my recollection is a little vague on that. Everything was again completely made up, no actual rituals were done, but it did happen at midnight, and fairly deep in the woods on the campus."
MISCHA: Actually, it sounds like what you've done is made a ritual.
JULIA: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: It sounds like you've gathered lots of people excited to use their imaginations into sort of like a vibey place at a certain time on the clock, and that sounds like a ritual.
JULIA: Hmm.
MISCHA: It sounds like you gathered hundreds of people to manifest one thing and then didn't think magic was gonna happen.
JULIA: Yes. And you were like—
AMANDA: That's magic, baby.
JULIA: —"Well, as long we're not using real rituals." A rituals is just what you believe in what you make of it, dude.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
MISCHA: Oh, boy.
JULIA: Okay. So they continue, "I lent some costume pieces to some other NPCs so that they could play the wild god and various followers. I heard that it was really cool and it went well. A mist rolled in. They had colorful lighting. It had been a hit, and the pictures were cool as hell." A mist roll— a mist rolled in.
AMANDA: Aahhh, sounds like magic.
MISCHA: Was it— okay, was it fog machines or—
JULIA: So they specify like, "Oh, they had colorful lighting. I think if it had been a fog machine, they would have been like, "Yeah, you know, they created some fog." No, a fucking mist rolled in.
MISCHA: Yeah. It sounds like the wild god really got you guys to do it a favor. It's— what it sounds like. What it sounds like.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: Uh-hmm.
JULIA: "So cut to the final day of the LARP, we're gathering everything and cleaning up. And one of the other NPCs brings the flower crown that I had lent to the person playing the wild god. And tells me that she's going to go and cleanse all the places we used and leave an offering in the woods."
MISCHA: Yeah.
JULIA: This person knows what's up. This person understands.
AMANDA: That's just safe. That's just smart. That's just practice.
JULIA: "Apparently, this flower crown had disappeared the night of the scene, and no one had been able to find it. They'd gone back the next morning when it was laid out to clean up, what had been left over, and it wasn't there. And no one had seen it for several other times the clearing was used for other scenes. When they went back on this last day to double-check that everything had been gathered and no trash was left behind, they found the flower crown sitting on a tree stump in the middle of a clearing. Very deliberately placed. It wasn't a lightweight ren fair flower crown. It was a dense crown of fake flowers and leaves made to wear it at a combat-based LARP. And you could definitely feel when you wore it and it wouldn't have just been blown away in the wind."
AMANDA: And it sounds like too heavy for a bird to be like, "Is this real?" Pick it up, put it back down, "No," and then fly away.
JULIA: Yes, correct. Correct. And, like, it wouldn't have just like fallen off and someone's like, "Oh, I lost the crown." You would have felt it fall off. "There were a few other weird things that happened at that university. Things going missing and turning up in impossible places. Lights on in rooms and buildings that should have been empty, extra people showing up and vanishing things like that." Extra people showing up and vanishing is not— that's not good event planning, I'm gonna say.
MISCHA: A lot of these things are like, okay, maybe people dropped some stuff and like staff found it and tried to put it somewhere where it was visible. Or you did the wild god a pretty good favor.
JULIA: They continue, "We were in an old place with a lot of history and a lot of energy. And the forest around the university was overgrown and untouched. Something was interested in what we were doing and kindly returned my flower crown. I did put the flower crown on my head once I got it back, then immediately took it off because it had been in the woods for a couple of days and also, spiders."
MISCHA: The spiders are part of the magic.
JULIA: I— yeah, the spiders— listen, the wild god has patrons and they are spiders.
MISCHA: Yes. The wild god gave you those spiders.
AMANDA: Don't throw away the gift.
JULIA: "So I made sure to leave an offering in the woods as well, and I thanked whatever was around for letting us use this beautiful location. I'm not very sensitive to supernatural things or spirits or energy, so this is the most interesting personal story that I have. But I'm always careful to respect the old and wild places. If you're ever near the mountains of Virginia and want to visit the Blackfriars Playhouse, let me know. Being a professional adult theater kid has its perks. Stay creepy and cool, Cobweb" Incredible. So much fun.
MISCHA: Okay. What does this magic item do this, flower crown?
JULIA: Well, now, it summons spiders.
MISCHA: Yeah, I mean, it summons spiders. I also think that there's like— it can clear bad weather.
JULIA: Hmm.
AMANDA: Ooh, that's really good.
JULIA: Or— or summon fog.
MISCHA: Yeah, maybe it does. Maybe you can do like a fog cloud with it, or like a light duster. There's probably some good, like, weather spell charges you can throw on a magic crown.
JULIA: Yeah, naturally— naturally.
AMANDA: I love the thought that you can, like, displace precipitation from one place to another. So maybe like you really need some clear weather, you know, in one zone of the camp, but you have to sort of like— it's the equivalent of like a junk drawer and a kitchen, and you have to like shove all the precipitation somewhere else and so perhaps, a mist does roll in.
MISCHA: "Honey, where do you put the rain? Is it in with the batteries?"
JULIA: It is, it is. It's right next to the pliers.
AMANDA: Well, speaking of household implements, I have another Mischa-themed urban legends. But first, folks, let's take a quick refill, shall we?
JULIA: Let's go.
MISCHA: Let's do it.
[theme]
JULIA: Hey, this is Julia, and welcome to the refill. Let's start, of course, by thanking as always our newest patron Emily. Thank you so much for joining us and joining the Patreon by going to patreon.com/spiritspodcast. You join the ranks of our supporting-producer level patrons like Uhleeseeuh, Anne, Arianna, Ginger Spurs Boi, Hannah, Jack Marie, Jane, Kneazlekins, Lily, Matthew, Phil Fresh, Rikoelike, Captain Jonathan MAL-uh-kye Cosmos, and Sarah as well as our legend-level patrons, Audra, Bex, Chibi Yokai, Jeremiah, Michael, Morgan H., Sarah, and Bea Me Up Scotty. And hey, if you join the Patreon as well, you can get cool stuff like recipe cards for every single gosh darn episode, ad-free episodes, and so much more. Check it out. That's, one more time, patreon.com/spiritspodcast. My recommendation for you this week is a show that I have been really enjoying and I feel like in the past couple episodes that I have watched has really like upped its game and that is the show Game Changer on Dropout. Now, Game Changer is a game show where the game changes every show. And they've done some really interesting stuff, especially this new season, but just in general like they have done surprise escape rooms for their contestants. They recently did a bingo Inception, where they were, like, playing bingo against each other but also there were people behind the camera who were waiting for them to do specific actions. It's— it's a great show. It's very cool. Check it out. I'm sure you've probably stumbled across like some of the videos on, like, TikTok, and Instagram and stuff. But that's Game Changer on Dropout. I love that show so much. And speaking of shows that I love so much, have you ever wondered what life would be like on planets different from our own or how writers create your favorite fictional worlds? Well, wonder no more, because we have the facts for you every week, astrophysicist and folklorist Dr. Moiya McTier explores fictional worlds by building them with a panel of expert guests, interviewing professional world-builders, or reviewing the merits of worlds that have already been built. You'll learn, you'll laugh, and you'll gain an appreciation for just how special our planet really is. So go check out her show Exolore. Subscribe today by searching Exolore, that's E-X-O-L-O-R-E in your podcast app or going to exolorepod.com. And now, let's hear from our sponsors. I want to tell you about a new podcast that you need to listen to. CrunchyRoll Presents: The Anime Effect explores anime and the way it shows up throughout our world. And if you don't know, I'm a bit of a anime fan. 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[theme]
JULIA: We are back. And Mischa hey, what— what have you been enjoying lately, cocktail, mocktail drink-wise? Anything fun and exciting over there?
MISCHA: Yes, I've been going out for Taco Tuesdays weekly with my friend Sam, and the place we go is over in Studio City, California, it's called Gray Tavern and they make a thing called an emotionally unavailable, which is—
JULIA: What the fuck is that?
MISCHA: —like— it's like tequila, pineapple, lime, agave, and muddled jalapenos.
JULIA: Okay.
MISCHA: And you know I love a spicy pepper cocktail.
JULIA: I— I know you do, I do as well. I always appreciate when you send me like, "Look at this spicy drink on the menu." And I'm like, "Yeah, that's good shit."
MISCHA: Uh-hmm. Every time, every time.
JULIA: I love it, I love it. That with Mezcal would probably be dope. Just saying.
MISCHA: Probably. I don't know. They have pretty good tequila there. They— they make like a whole night of Taco Tuesdays, even though it's a very chill bar and not a lot of people show up, so it's usually just me and my partner and my friend, and we just kind of hang out and bullshit around.
JULIA: I love it.. Did they know you guys yet? Do they know everyone like name and order and— that you're regulars?
MISCHA: It's my friends local bar so they know—
JULIA: Fuck yeah.
MISCHA: They know them, and then like, we've shown up a couple of times, so there's a good rapport there.
JULIA: Good. Good. That's what you want, you know? People like always— I'm always thrown off by people who are like, "Oh, well, I have to stop going to this bar, because now the bartender knows my name." I'm like, "No, that's a good thing. That's a good thing."
AMANDA: That's the whole point.
JULIA: "You want that."
MISCHA: Because then, like, that one time I went out with you, Julia, you can just go in to the bartender who knows your name, and they'll just be like, "What's the vibe?" and they'll make your drink based on vibes.
JULIA: Yes. That is the best kind of experience, being like, "What are you feeling today?" I'm like, "Hmm, you know, like gin-based and floral." They're like, "I got you." And then they make totally something off menu. It's great.
MISCHA: Yeah, The Rolling Bones pregame.
AMANDA: My most recent notable drink was at Mischa's house, where I was lucky enough to visit them a couple of months ago at this point.
MISCHA: Yup.
AMANDA: Month and— month and change.
MISCHA: Sounds about right.
JULIA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: Exactly. Where Mischa's partner Aaron came home after picking up, I think, some lumber from a guy on Facebook marketplace and was like, "Oh, and also"— and then holds up I think it was like in— in her skirt, or apron, just a bunch of, like, kind of grapefruit-sized lemons. And so it was Eric's idea to do Miller High Life, which we are now boycotting on account of its union busting, okay? Alright, solidarity.
MISCHA: Oh, no.
AMANDA: More important than Miller High Life, I now.
JULIA: Gotta support the Teamsters.
AMANDA: But at that time, Miller High Life with incredibly fresh lemon juice over ice, and it was so refreshing. It was the best.
MISCHA: The lemons were enormous that I— like so big.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: It must be nice to live in a place where people can just grow citrus fruit.
MISCHA: Yeah.
AMANDA: It's remarkable. How about you, Julia?
JULIA: I had a absolutely wonderful cocktail this past Sunday where I went to a kind of like, speakeasy, but not really speakeasy bar that's called—
AMANDA: A speak medium, we know.
JULIA: It was called Brix & Rye, and it was in like the basement of this place in this, like, kind of currently sleepy, like, tourist town out on the North Fork of Long Island. I had a cocktail there that was called the Felonious Monk, which I ordered pretty much solely because if you know me, if there's a green chartreuse cocktail on the menu, I will get it. And it was like a green chartreuse Martini-esque cocktail, like it was very spirit forward. It was a stirred drink. It was served in like a very intricate, like, coupe glass. It was great. It was honestly really good.
AMANDA: That sounds so good.
JULIA: Now, Amanda, I have an email here. This is from Blaine, and Blaine had written in a while back about some summer camp nighttime noises as you might recall.
AMANDA: Ooh.
JULIA: But Blaine has sent a follow-up email that he has titled, Thing that went Bump in the Night.
AMANDA: Yes, please.
JULIA: "Hi, Spirits team. I was so excited when you read my last admission, Summer Camp Nighttime noises. It really made my day. Here is the possible follow-up story that I alluded to in that. For starters, I need to give an alias to my friend, the main character of the story, so I'll choose the name Alex. I knew Alex through yet another summer camp. This one was a science camp, though, which made most conversations especially nerdy." Now, Mischa, you went to summer camp, correct?
MISCHA: Famously, I did go to summer camp. Yes.
JULIA: UH-hmm. You were a theater summer camp though, correct?
MISCHA: It was a very various Montessori arts training camp.
AMANDA: Hell yeah.
JULIA: So kind of the opposite of a— a science summer camp.
MISCHA: Yeah, except that I did end up doing a lot of like engineering, which is how I got into sound and tech theater, and the thing I do now, so—
AMANDA: Incredible.
JULIA: Yeah. That is fair. That's fair.
MISCHA: It was definitely being a nerd among, like, artists. Like my best friend was a ceramicist. A big feature of it was the glassblowing shop. Kids for glassblowing, it was pretty cool.
JULIA: Ooh.
AMANDA: That's amazing.
JULIA: You know what? You want a great skill to teach children is how to handle hot glass.
MISCHA: Yeah.
JULIA: Yeah. So Blaine continues, "One evening, we were telling tales of creepy things that had happened to us. I think I told one about walking into a ton of spider webs in my basement, which though, unpleasant and kind of gross to think about, is actually kind of tamed, considering those spiders were just minding their business and generally no threat to me."
MISCHA: They were just chillin'.
JULIA: Yeah.
MISCHA: They— they pay rent in other ways.
JULIA: This is perfect for cobwebs.
MISCHA: Catching flies, for example.
AMANDA: Exactly.
JULIA: My stylist blew my mind the other day where she's like, "You know how like— you know, if you find a spider in your house, you take it outside and, like, you know, set it free out there." I was like, "Yeah." She's like, "Most of those spiders were born indoors and they won't be able to survive out in the wild."
AMANDA: I don't believe that.
JULIA: "Then why would they tell me that?"
AMANDA: I don't believe that. That sounds like a thing someone read on Facebook. I don't know.
JULIA: Probably no, probably. She's big on TikTok.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: It was probably just said a video she came across, but I was like, "Why would you say that to me? That's so sad. I just don't want them living in the house with me, is that okay?"
AMANDA: They have instincts, they're fine.
MISCHA: I respect them, and if they were born in the walls then they can live there. It's when they come out of the walls that I have a problem.
AMANDA: I'm like, "Stay— stay behind."
MISCHA: Outside of the walls is that I pay rent on.
AMANDA: Exactly, exactly.
JULIA: Unless those spiders want to pay me spider dollars for my rent. So Blaine continues, "Other people had stories that I don't really remember very well, but then Alex dropped this bomb on us. Alex starts explaining that they were visiting family and had to stay at a cousin's house. This wasn't really a problem. They liked their cousin well enough, but they were given a room to stay in that was down the hall from the bathroom." Like, the best place I think, in my opinion. Like, I want to be close enough to the bathroom where I'm not disturbing other people by going to the bathroom, but also like not directly next to the bathroom, so that people's flushing doesn't wake me up. Does that make sense?
AMANDA: Yes.
MISCHA: Yes.
AMANDA: I had to think about it, but yes.
JULIA: Cool.
MISCHA: Yeah, I'm trying to recall, like, my past living scenarios to— to corroborate, but I think you're right.
AMANDA: One thing I know about me, I'm going to pee in the middle of the night. So I'm going to need to be as close to the bathroom as possible, or on the side of the bed, nearest the bathroom.
MISCHA: Fair enough.
JULIA: That's why the ensuite bathroom is so nice, like in a house in general or like in a hotel room or what have you. Like, having to leave my bedroom to go to a bathroom is the one thing I don't like about my house.
AMANDA: If I have to put on shoes to— to go pee, it's— it's gonna be tough for Amanda.
JULIA: Yeah.
MISCHA: It's over for you.
JULIA: Alright. "So the visit went well during the day, but that night after everyone had fallen asleep, they awoke, pushing aside the mental cobwebs of waking up in a strange room and realizing that they didn't leave any kind of nightlight on. Alex realized that they needed to use the restroom and set up. As soon as they did, they saw some movement somewhere off to their right, but they just shook it off as being in a different space. They then sent for the door. As they reach the door, just before their hand would have grabbed the knob, they heard a loud thump. The thump sounded like it came from the other side of the door. It made Alex jump back a bit, startled. Now, Alex decided their mind was playing tricks on them, and so they tried again. Only this time, they did not jump back. This time, be it a murderer or more likely a prankster cousin, they were determined to face it down."
MISCHA: Bold.
JULIA: Brave. Love that.
MISCHA: Listen, more power to you. Good luck.
JULIA: "Only the doorknob didn't seem to be there at all."
AMANDA: What?
MISCHA: Nowhere to go.
JULIA: "Now, thoroughly freaked out, Alex turned to jump back into bed. In doing so, they saw for sure something moved to their right, but they couldn't figure what it is."
AMANDA: Giant doorknob, giant doorknob, giant doorknob. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
MISCHA: Yeah, Amanda, that's it, giant doorknob, you got it.
AMANDA: Oh, no.
JULIA: Amanda, you spoiled the— the story, I'm just gonna stop here now— no, I’m kidding.
AMANDA: Ugh. I’m so stressed. I don’t know why you’re laughing, that’s very logical.
JULIA: You’re exactly right. You're exactly right. I'm so sorry, I'm not making fun of you.
MISCHA: Amanda, I— I— I— I'm laughing at the absurdity because I can't get to the mental place where that's the obvious answer, but that's my problem—
AMANDA: Thank you.
MISCHA: — not yours. Listen—
AMANDA: Thank you, thank you.
MISCHA: —you're so right, and I just need to get on the level.
AMANDA: Mischa, my thing is I'm just like— I'm thinking four steps ahead—
MISCHA: Yeah.
AMANDA: —of everything, and so that's where I'm coming from.
MISCHA: Absolutely. And that's why you'll be the most prepared, for sure.
AMANDA: Thank you.
JULIA: "Something moved to the right, they couldn't figure out what it was. Reaching the bed, they rolled across it with the intention of grabbing all of the blankets and hiding. As they did that, a loud bang erupted from the wall near them. At that, Alex said that they almost lost any need to use the bathroom. But fortunately for them, they held on as the cause of their terror was about to make itself known." Giant doorknob.
MISCHA: Giant doorknob.
AMANDA: Just saying.
JULIA: "As their terror was nearly overwhelming them, their right arm began to feel some of the worst pins and needles they had ever felt. They had apparently slept on top of their arm in such a way that they not only lost all feeling, but also any sense as to where it was regarding the rest of their body. It had only been their arms swinging wildly but without sensation that had caused them all of this trouble."
MISCHA: Oh, my gosh. Ghost arm.
AMANDA: That's scary.
JULIA: You know what? Like, yeah, ghost arm, first off, the fact that they couldn't even feel the doorknob because they couldn't, like, really, like, feel anything with their hands.
MISCHA: Yeah.
JULIA: It's— swinging around wildly as they, like, go through the room, that's fascinating. I love it. Amanda, I like ghost doorknob better. I'll be honest with you.
AMANDA: Thank you. I'll accept ghost arm.
MISCHA: That sounds like a buddy comedy we can all get behind.
JULIA: I think one of them is like a private investigator and the other one sells houses.
MISCHA: And— and at home, they're raising their half arm, half doorknob son.
JULIA: Yes, of course. Naturally. Blaine continue, "I hope I was able to tell the story justice. Thanks again, Spirits team, for being awesome. Now, I don't have any more stories to tease, but I do have this, have any more listeners out there had a man with a hat and a dog dream? I didn't think I had much for that one until I realized that I once had a recurring dream that I was a man with a hat and a dog."
MISCHA: Oh, you were the man with the hat and the dog.
JULIA: "The dream itself isn't that notable. I would just find myself standing places, waiting for something important that was supposed to happen but never did. The only other thing of note was that at the time, I was only a boy, who didn't usually wear a hat and didn't own a dog yet. So I'm curious to see if anyone's description of where they encountered the man lines up with dreams that I dreamt about. Anyway, that's probably it for now. Until something really creepy happens to me, stay creepy, stay cool, Blaine."
MISCHA: I love the idea of having a dream where you are inhabiting a dream archetype in other people's dreams. That's great.
JULIA: Yeah. Blaine is building out the lore.
MISCHA: The lore.
JULIA: We haven't talked about the man with the hat and the dog in a while now. So if anyone has had a recent experience, let us know. Maybe we— it feels like I'm doing matchmaking, but it's for—
AMANDA: Yes. That's very cool.
JULIA: —terrifying dreams. Is that good?
MISCHA: Misconnections.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: Yeah. Yeah. It's a misconnection, but it's like you, a scary man with a hat and a dog standing in the corner of my dream. Me, someone who was dreaming about a weird house one time.
AMANDA: Yeah. But listen, then it's not sinister, because the thing about— like the man with the hat and the dog wasn't doing anything sinister. He was just sinisterly appearing, you know, in many places. And so maybe the— the common thread is that we're all conspirators, and then that's fine.
MISCHA: I did just realize that I'm pretty sure this is the plot of the new Nicolas Cage movie, Dream Scenario.
JULIA: No. Don't tell me that.
MISCHA: I'm— no. I'm— I'm not saying the listener out there ape it, I'm saying we ape it here, you, us, here.
JULIA: The— this email came in a while ago, back in November, so hopefully that wasn't the case.
AMANDA: Julia, if you were predestining Nick Cage's Hollywood career, I think there is zero chance you can monetize it, but I'm 100% here for it.
JULIA: But, like, what if I can start writing Nick Cage movies before they come out?
MISCHA: Julia, I gotta say before Nick Cage puts them out, no one's gonna want them.
AMANDA: That's true.
MISCHA: If you have the supernatural power to write that kind of movie before it happens, no one's gonna get it because it only makes sense when he's there.
JULIA: That's true. That's true.
AMANDA: Now, Mischa, before the refill, I teased a junk drawer households, you know, implement craft-related urban legend. And this came to mind for me when thinking about your episode, because you have a very crafted and wonderful, and lived in, and customized home. And you also have a very crafty household, yeah?
MISCHA: Oh, thank you. Yeah. Well, I would say that's mostly due to my partner, Aaron, who is perhaps the craftiest person I've ever known.
JULIA: Very much so.
AMANDA: You— you two are crafty, and I also know that you— you appreciate, like, a— a perfectly tailored, a perfectly done for you, like, garment or bag where you're like, "Oh, that's exactly what I need, and presto, it's exactly the size and shape I need."
MISCHA: Oh, that's so true, and so generous, Amanda, to— it's like what a kind way to talk about the day where we hung out, where I dragged you around for the entire day to several places to find the backpack I would enjoy and didn't find one, and then we went home, and nothing happened.
AMANDA: It was still a lot of fun.
MISCHA: Good. I'm so glad you had a good time.
JULIA: Sometimes it's the journey and not the destination, you know?
MISCHA: Epilogue. I later found the backpack.
JULIA: Yay.
MISCHA: It's great. I love it.
AMANDA: All as well. And this is also some follow-up from Kyle, titled "Your Haunted Sewing Machine theory's confirmed."
JULIA: Ooh.
MISCHA: Oh, yes.
AMANDA: So Kyle, he/him writes, "Hello, conspirators. About a year and a half ago, I wrote in about the haunted house I grew up in as a kid. At the end of that email, I mentioned there was a haunted sewing machine in my family and that sparked some debate on the show."
JULIA: Hmm.
MISCHA: No, did the ghost in the sewing machine know the ghosts in the rest of the house? Were they hanging out? Was there a CBS sitcom?
AMANDA: It's an excellent question, Mischa. We're getting into it here. "So I thought it was about time to tell you exactly what happened with that sewing machine and yes, we still have it."
JULIA: Good. Good, good, good, good, good. Great.
MISCHA: You're not gonna give away the haunted sewing machine. What, are you gonna give the haunting to somebody else? That's rude.
AMANDA: Yeah. Yeah.
JULIA: That's what garage sales are for.
MISCHA: Rude. Rude. Well, that's— that's capitalism, that—we're all being haunted by capitalism.
JULIA: Hmm. Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: Yeah, that's— that's like— it hardly bears, you know, mentioning. It's almost like a fish swimming in water. Like, you know, how did the fish describe it, you know?
MISCHA: You don't— don't give away the ghosts, if you have to sell the ghosts, that's how it goes.
AMANDA: That's— that— we also make rent. We— we get it. "So when I was 10 we moved out of the haunted house and onto a beautiful farm with my stepdad, Todd."
JULIA: Cool.
AMANDA: I feel like Todd is such a wholesome stepdad name.
JULIA: Shout out to Todd.
AMANDA: Shout out to stepdads that are good.
MISCHA: Yeah.
AMANDA: "Now, he lived in a small house on his parents' property, so I also got to live next to his parents, who quickly became a very special pair of grandparents to me. It was a tough mood for other reasons, but one that worked out for the best. And it seemed that Todd's house wasn't much less haunted than our old one."
JULIA: Uh-uh. No good.
AMANDA: "We heard footsteps around corners that nobody was behind. Felt eyes watching us in the horrible basement." Again with those backless stairs, what is happening and why?
JULIA: Oh, Amanda, I'm so sorry to trigger you in that way.
AMANDA: Dude. Mischa, do you have any experience of backless stairs in the basement?
MISCHA: Yeah, 'cause I had cousins who, like, to bully me. So of course, they really tried to grab me as I was going downstairs, me a fragile person with a tissue disorder that probably should not be messed with on any sort of climbing mechanic.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
AMANDA: Bummer. Those stairs should be illegal. Great.
MISCHA: Yeah. That's— you know, that's what I always say.
AMANDA: "And a general sense of uneasiness in the laundry room, where it turns out, Todd's uncle died three years before Todd took over the house."
MISCHA: Even the laundry?
AMANDA: Hate— hate when a uneasy feeling has roots in historical.
MISCHA: Yeah.
AMANDA: It's always like, damn it. "But there was never a sighting or anything as serious as the old house we had left behind. But this story, though, is about the sewing machine. To set the scene, you'll need to know my mom was very close to her grandmother Evelyn, who had died a few years before I was born. I always felt a very special connection to Evelyn, who was a dressmaker, and I always designed dresses as a kid. I even designed my mom's wedding dress when she married Todd later that year."
JULIA: Kyle, that's so cute.
MISCHA: Oh, my God.
AMANDA: Kyle, that's so cute.
MISCHA: That's so sweet.
JULIA: Kyle, I could cry right now.
AMANDA: I know. Kyle, mom, Todd, Evelyn. "And so I always felt a very special connection to my great grandmother Evelyn, like she was my guardian angel or something like that.
JULIA: Aw.
MISCHA: Yeah.
AMANDA: "So my mom used the sewing machine that belonged to Evelyn all the time, and sometimes use it to make me Halloween costumes or costumes for the plays that I was in."
JULIA: I'm sure Evelyn loved that.
AMANDA: Right? How sweet.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: "One particular day, my mom had left a costume in the machine to continue sewing after dinner. As she and Todd sat and ate their dinner, the sewing machine started sewing on its own."
JULIA: Okay. So hold on, let's assume Kyle around the same age as us. This is the great grandmother's sewing machine.
AMANDA: Yes.
JULIA: That means it was probably like a— instead of being like an electric sewing machine, one of those pedal ones that requires you to pedal it in order to move the needle.
MISCHA: Yeah, one that's like built into a desk or something.
AMANDA: I don't want to know but you, Julia, but the— the great Evelyn could have been, like, variant sewing machine technology and have, like, upgraded it in you know, the early '90s.
JULIA: That is true.
MISCHA: Haven't you heard? There's a brand new thing. It's called an electric sewing machine.
AMANDA: Right?
JULIA: Assuming, though, that it might have been one of those older ones, wouldn't just go on its own. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to date Evelyn, but—
MISCHA: No, I actually think that makes it more likely to go on its own, because if it's got a pedal that a cat can sit on or a pet.
JULIA: Oh, yeah.
AMANDA: That's true.
MISCHA: Then it could go off in the night, because my cats have been known to sit on anything they please.
AMANDA: That's very true. And I mean, I— I would say that, yeah, the— the lack of a, like, physical thing that you can see moving would freak me out more to see the electric sewing machine going. And also, if— if it is like old fashion of all— any kind, like big ups to— to Kyle's mom for sewing in modern fabric with a, you know, manual sewing machine.
JULIA: Yeah, yeah.
MISCHA: Uh-hmm.
AMANDA: But in any case, "The sewing machine made a perfect stitch down the seam to add to my beautiful costume. I always guessed that it was Evelyn saying hello and strengthening a connection that I felt since the day I was born. I still have that costume by the way, and no stitches have ever come loose even 20 years after it was made."
JULIA: Damn right.
AMANDA: "So to me, a sweet reminder that those you love are never really gone, they live on through those who come after and maybe, just maybe they let you know that they're still right there beside you. Stay creepy and cool, Kyle."
MISCHA: Aw.
JULIA: Through a now blessed costume and a haunted sewing machine.
AMANDA: Right.
JULIA: That makes sense, that checks out.
MISCHA: And a great reminder that like hauntings don't always have to be bad.
JULIA: No.
MISCHA: Hauntings can be nice, sometimes.
JULIA: The— it's— it's just like memories can either be bad or pleasant, hauntings can be bad or pleasant.
AMANDA: Yeah.
JULIA: What are ghosts if not just memories?
MISCHA: I mean this in the most on ironic way, so true, bestie.
AMANDA: So I wanted to leave us off on that— on that sweet note. Mischa, thank you so much again for joining us on this hometown urban legends episode. Can you remind folks where they can find you and your brand-new podcast. The Wandering Path online?
MISCHA: Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you for having me. It's always a blast coming on. Thanks so much, guys.
JULIA: It's always a pleasure.
MISCHA: You can find me in my goings on, on whatever social media I happen to be on, which is very few these days. But wherever I am, you can find me @mischaetc, M-I-S-C-H-A-E-T-C. You can find me at my website, mischastanton.com. And look out for The Wandering Path coming very soon, wanderingpathpod.com or wherever you get your podcasts.
JULIA: Ooh. You can find a link to that in the show notes as always. And I'm sure that— hopefully this episode is out by the time that you guys premiere and I'm— I'm so excited for everyone to hear it. It's going to be amazing.
MISCHA: I— you know, it's— it's something really special. I'm really excited about it.
JULIA: Yeah.
AMANDA: We're so proud of you and so happy you're here. And folks, next time that you look over during dinner and see your dearly departed great grandmother finishing your chores, remember—
JULIA: Stay creepy.
AMANDA: —stay cool.
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