Episode 216: Your Urban Legends XLVI - All Stars!
/Sometimes a story just sticks with you. And in this last installment of Oops! All Urban Legends month, our favorite hometown tales are back and better than ever. Hear the real story behind the Toyota Plant, the return of the Crawdad King, and our favorite named ghost.
Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of murder, child endangerment, body horror, animal death, dismemberment, ablism, child neglect, fire/death by fire, colonialism, genitals, and misogyny.
Housekeeping
- Recommendation: This week, Amanda recommends Full Bloom on HBO Max!
- Books: Check out our previous book recommendations, guests’ books, and more at spiritspodcast.com/books
- Multitude: Listen to some other MultiShows this week! Search Multitude in your podcast player or go to multitude.productions.
Sponsors
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Find Us Online
If you like Spirits, help us grow by spreading the word! Follow us @SpiritsPodcast on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Goodreads. You can support us on Patreon (http://patreon.com/spiritspodcast) to unlock bonus Your Urban Legends episodes, director’s commentaries, custom recipe cards, and so much more. We also have lists of our book recommendations and previous guests’ books at http://spiritspodcast.com/books.
Transcript
Amanda: Welcome to Spirits Podcast, a boozy dive into mythology, legends, and folklore. Every week, we pour drink and learn about a new story from around the world. I'm Amanda and I am here closing out the first maybe annual – I don't know – Oops, All Urban Legends Month here on Spirits with all stars. We are incredibly excited about this. We explained what we mean and why in the episode. But, first, I wanted to thank the three folks this week who joined our Patreon; Josh, Stephanie, and Sami. Thank you very much for spending your hard won human dollars on supporting a podcast you really like. We really like you back. Thanks too to our supporting producer level patrons; Uhleeseeuh, Allison, Debra, Hannah, Jane, Jen, Jessica Kinser, Jessica Stewart, Keegan, Kneazlekins, Liz, Megan Linger, Megan Moon, Phil Fresh, Polly, Sarah, Skyla, and SamneyTodd. We really appreciate that the, the double Jessicas and, and double Megans are gracing us with their presence right now, and to our legend level patrons; Audra, Drew, Frances, Jack Marie, Ki, Lada, Mark, Morgan, Necrofancy, Renegade, and Bea Me Up Scotty. We so appreciate that you make it a priority to support our show. We know that there's lots of things that you could be spending money on. And taking your few dollars a month or many dollars a month to help make this show possible is something that just, just flabbergast us and we are so grateful. If you would like to have your name read on the show as we welcome you to our Patreon, you can join for as little as just a couple bucks an episode at patreon.com/spiritspodcast. We don't always plug the Patreon. We just thank those who join. We have all kinds of great rewards. Julia makes beautiful recipe cards with custom drinks for every dang episode; one alcoholic, one non-alcoholic, whatever your, your style is. There are things like director's commentary, where we put links and jokes and our thoughts back on the episode all into a nice list that you can read chronologically as you listen to the episode – it's like listening along with us as you listen to us – all the way up to actual physical gifts that I sent to you each month. We have some extremely good ones coming this month. I think you guys are really gonna like them. So, all of that at patreon.com/spiritspodcast. And something else I think all conspirators are really going to like, it's a floral installation of the Gates of Hell. And that is my recommendation for this week. It’s the show Full Bloom, which is on HBO Max. So, wrangle that login out of whoever you can get it from. And it is a florist competition show. Yeah. Flowers make me sneeze. So, it's not a thing that I have, like, cut flowers in my apartment a lot. It's not particularly, like, a hobby of mine. But it is absolutely amazing to see these artisans at work and to hear their personal stories. I think that they do a pretty good job of letting us get to know the contestants, which you can't always on a competition show like that. And one of the competitions is to do, like, a decoration with flowers, like a huge scale one of a bell tower turning it into the Gates of Hell. And I was just like there is nothing more Spirits than this right now. It's creepy. It's cool. It's amazing. So, that show is Full Bloom on HBO Max. And, finally, if you aren't able to commit to a monthly pledge on Patreon, which I totally get, but you do want to support the show financially some way, you can also buy merch from us. That's a really good way to get something physical and to support us with your dollars. So, if you want to get digital merch, even, you know, like a super cheap phone background. Those are really cute. We have a flask. We have pins. We have the, the water spirit pins. There are a handful of those left in our store. So, if you want to get those beautiful ladies on your lapel, it is time now to do it all the way up to those adorable pins in, in partnership with Shaker and Spoon. And, posters, if you want a creepy forest, if you want to creepy desert on your wall, if you want a Spirits coloring book that you can print out and color in as you are on conference calls pretending to pay attention or even the Cool Cryptid Compendium, which Julia helped Eric Silver with as we put together our Spirits X Join the Party collaboration of turning cryptids into playable or NPC characters that you can put into your tabletop role playing game because cryptids aren't just for, like, monster hunting. They're interesting friends you might want to make out with or, or bring along to your journey or, you know, just have as a fully-fledged character that is not just a monster. All of that at spiritspodcast.com/merch. Well, it has been such a joy this month getting to do even more urban legends than usual. We're so happy that you liked it and that you just had been along on the journey. It's, you know, five years into a podcast. It's always really exciting when we can try something new and even more exciting when you are there, you know, cheering us along and ready to try new stuff with us. So, without further ado, please enjoy Spirits Podcast Episode 216: Your Urban Legends All Stars.
Intro Music
Amanda: Guys, the moment has happened. Finally, you spending several months or years of your life watching many, many seasons of a middling reality show has paid off because, finally, they've done an All-Star Season. And your knowledge has come to bear where, with a encyclopedic knowledge of far too many contestants over time, you're finally like, “Thank god, I know their pitfalls. I know their narratives. I don't need that helpful previous season recap, editors. I know what the hell's going on.” And that's what we're going to bring you today. We – there are, for whatever reason, either it's been so long that we forgotten how good these stories are or they were so iconic that we need to revisit exactly what made them, you know, Spirits classics. Or, like me, I was too busy laughing at one line in, count it, the third sentence of the email that I fully forgot everything else about it. But, regardless, it is time for all stars.
Eric: I have a quick question, Amanda.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I know you've been watching a lot of Survivor.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Because I think all of your intros for this month have evolved Survivor in some way.
Amanda: This entire experiment was inspired by Survivor. Yeah.
Eric: Are you also trying to just get on Survivor. Do you think, like, Jeff Probst is, like, listening to Spirits? He's like, “This, this woman knows her stuff.”
Amanda: Um, it's more like I want to create a world in which my own devotion to Survivor is validated and/or useful.
Eric: Hmm. Gotcha.
Amanda: Don't get me wrong, Eric. I couldn't even be a PA on Survivor sleeping in a bed or a hotel. That shit – there's so many things there that would kill me. There's so many things that I'd be allergic to.
Eric: You don't want to do it. You don't want to be on Survivor in any fashion.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm.
Amanda: No. No. No, no, no.
Eric: That's not surprising. But I was like, “well, maybe. Maybe she does want to be on Survivor really bad and it's just like a surprising twist.
Amanda: Unless it's survivor spreadsheets and then --
Eric: Hmm. Right.
Amanda: -- motherfucker, I’m there. I'm season number one winner.
Julia: I was gonna say, I think, Amanda would be good at The Amazing Race.
Amanda: Thank you. Thank you.
Julia: I feel like that would be where you would shine on a reality show.
Eric: Oh, let me tell you. Amanda would be great at The Amazing Race. Amanda knows how to get through an airport in a – in a way that I would deem dangerous.
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: Whoa! What's does that mean?
Eric: One time, Amanda – one time, Amanda called an Uber while we were deboarding the plane in an airport neither of us had ever been in.
Amanda: I did.
Eric: I was like, “This is literally stressing me out.”
Amanda: Well, we communicated and I didn't do that particular thing again. But, listen, I backpack a lot. I know how to – how to get upgrades. I know how to parse street signs to the best of my ability. I'm pretty okay with directions. And I think that, in any challenges involving, like, craft or puzzle solving, I'd be pretty okay.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah. So, who wants to – who wants to start? Who, who has the, the first All Star we're gonna go with?
Amanda: It's so hard to say. Where, where do we even begin?
Julia: Should we pick the one that is the earliest by email date?
Eric: Yeah, let, let's do that. My earliest is May 7th, 2018.
Julia: I have April 2017.
Eric: Okay.
Amanda: April, what, Julia? Because I have April 21st, 2017.
Julia: April 14th.
Amanda: All right. It looks like you win.
Eric: All right. We’ll do Julia, Amanda, and then me.
Amanda: All right.
Julia: All right. Let’s do it. I'm gonna take us back to a time, folks. A time where there were hillbilly grandfathers scaring the grandchildren.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: That's right. We're heading back to Bloody Bones.
Amanda: Bloody Bones.
Julia: AKA how my hillbilly grandfather entertained himself by terrifying small children.
Amanda: Oh, iconic.
Eric: Bloody Bones.
Amanda: I can't wait. And there was a follow up, I think.
Julia: Yes, there was. I have it. So, this was sent in originally by Ashton. And Ashton wrote, “My grandparents live in a tiny town outside of Ashland, Kentucky literally in the middle of the woods. At night, all we could hear were the crickets and the running water of the creek, more commonly known as a creek, that cut through their backyard. When we were about eight years old, my grandfather told my cousin and I the story of Bloody Bones. I'll put links to the legitimate folklore down below. But this is the story my grandfather told us.” And then it tells me to read in the most Appalachian country accent I can manage, which I will not try.
Eric: I'm pretty sure I read, but we should all guess who read it the first time.
Amanda: I think you read it the first time. Yeah.
Eric: I’m pretty sure I read this.
Julia: Yes, I feel like that was – you, you felt comfortable doing the, the country accent.
Amanda: You are Appalachia adjacent. We are not.
Eric: Mhmm.
Julia: In the trees lives Bloody Bones. He wanders from hill to hill looking for small children that stay out past sundown. He likes to stay close to the water, rivers, lakes, ponds, puddles, and creeks. You don't hear him coming. You won't see him running because he stays in the trees or in the water until he jumps and lands on top of you to eat the flesh off your bones alive.
Eric: Uh-umm.
Amanda: So good.
Julia: But don't go looking for him neither. During the day, he likes to keep hidden. If he sees you, he'll sit and wait. Keep your eyes off the tree line because, if you spot it, he attacks. But, at night, nothing can keep you from the clutches of Bloody Bones. If he sees you, you're done for. Only a few have been able to escape him. I saw him once. He looks like a man but he's not. He's about eight foot tall and three foot wide.
Eric: Oh, my god.
Amanda: I forgot that part.
Eric: You’ve got the width --
Amanda: Oh, yeah.
Eric: -- with – it was a great detail.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. He's bright red because he's got no skin. His body is --
Eric: Whoops! We don't talk about the video very much while we're doing this.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: But Amanda was just about to take us a sip of tea just as that light happened. I was like, “Oh, my god, the riskiest maneuver.”
Amanda: I know enough. I know enough by now.
Julia: So, his body is made up of the children he eats. The more kids he eats, the larger he gets. Amanda: Oh, boy.
Julia: He's got a big mouth with long teeth that are sharp as razor blades. His fingers are long and he's got claws for fingernails. You better be careful. I saw something rustling in the trees earlier. Bloody bones is nearby.
Amanda: I think, word for word, this is maybe the best urban legends email we've ever gotten because it is so well constructed. Like, this, this entire email – and looking like it's – it's two paragraphs long, you know. And it just – it gets you there. Like, the perspective, the storytelling, the pacing of it, the fact that it's like openly a morality tale, but, at the end of it, I'm like, “Yeah, I should never go out past sundown. That makes complete sense.”
Julia: Correct.
Amanda: It's just so good.
Eric: It's also just like so purely, like, folkloric.
Amanda: Yes,
Eric: Like, it’s just he – every word is about the story. Every word is a detail that is important that you need to know. There's not a single bit of fluff in this story. It's all bones.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Where did he come from? What's his motivation? It doesn't matter. You know, it's – it's true fairy tale.
Eric: I like that he's just a Dark Souls’ boss. And I think it would be really great if we just had like a Dark Souls in Appalachia. Like, Dark Souls’ things, the whole thing is like they are, like, the Japanese perspective on a Western medieval world. So, I would love the Japanese perspective at an even further Western world, Appalachia. Just like really set a Dark Souls game in just like West Virginia, Southern Ohio kind of woodland horror cabins and stuff like that. Bloody Bones. You got Bigfoot-esque monster, stuff like that.
Amanda: Tailypo.
Julia: Tailypo.
Eric: Tailypo, of course. Of course, Tailypo. I mean good luck to him.
Julia: Now, Silent Hill takes place in the Pacific Northwest, but I always pictured it in Appalachia. I don't know why.
Eric: Yeah, Silent Hill is more just like straight up horror.
Julia: Yeah.
Eric: Whereas, there's a lot more like creature horror in, in, in the Dark Souls games.
Amanda: That's fair.
Julia: That's fair.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Ashton continues. Not only was this story terrifying because there is a large, naked, skinless man on the loose that is going to eat us, but my great grandmother lived in a trailer behind my grandparents’ house. In order to get there, we had to cross the creek via a small bridge my grandfather made.
Eric: Right. Yes. Mhmm.
Julia: Also, the little dirt patch we would use was lined with trees.
Amanda: Oh, that's right.
Julia: We would always run home before the sun went down to avoid Bloody Bones. However, one night when we were about eight years old, we lost track of time and had to walk back to my grandparents’ house in the dark. My cousin and I held each other close and ran keeping our eyes on the ground with nothing but our flashlights for light. We were about 150 feet away from my grandparents’ house when something dropped out of the trees yelling.
Eric: Mhmm.
Julia: We both dropped to the ground screaming and crying. As we awaited our imminent deaths by being eaten by Bloody Bones, we heard laughter and a light shined on us. It was my grandfather who earlier had climbed a tree, waited for us, and then jumped down to scare us for his own amusement.
Amanda: Iconic. That's all I have to say.
Julia: This wasn't the only time he had done this to us. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. So, Ashton, fantastic story. But we also got a follow up email like a few months later after we read the first story.
Amanda: Yes. Yes. Yes.
Julia: So, Ashton wrote us back and said, “I wrote in with the Bloody Bones story about my grandfather scarring me and my cousin for life by jumping out of a tree. I was finally able to have my grandfather listen to the podcast episode while I was at a wedding in Kentucky.
Amanda: Oh, my god.
Julia: He thought it was so cool. I, I love that you sat your grandpa down and had him listen to our podcast. That's still the coolest thing ever.
Amanda: And I love that it was at a wedding in Kentucky.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: I had forgotten that part of it and that's just fantastic.
Julia: However, when I asked him if he remembered instilling fear and anxiety into his two granddaughters, he said, “I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't remember doing that.” Granted, this was about 12 to 15 years ago and he is 75 years old. So, I described to him the events of the rest of that weekend and his eyes lit up and he said, “Oh, well, I did drink half a bottle of medicine, what he calls Jack Daniels, that night. Your mama was driving me nuts.” He then proceeded to pour himself a Jack and coke and told my cousin and I, “You should be glad I just told you about Bloody Bones. Rawhead is who you really have to look out for.
Eric: Rawhead.
Julia: Apparently, there's an even more terrifying tale my grandfather told me about. Rawhead was the pet of an old magic woman who lived in the hills of Kentucky. He was an old hog that had rooted around in her kitchen so much that the magical properties of the things she dropped started to take effect on him. He was called Rawhead because he was so ugly and looked like a dead pig’s carcass that was fresh from slaughter. Great. Very descriptive. Hate it.
Amanda: Hate it.
Julia: He was known to walk upright and even talk. One day, he wandered off was caught by a hunter. Rawhead was then slaughtered by the hunter and the woman decided to cast a spell that reanimated the dismembered corpse of Rawhead. She then sent this Frankenstein's monster type of a creature after the hunter that killed him. Rawhead found and murdered the hunter. And, to reward him, the old woman used parts of the hunters prized game and gave him claws and sharp teeth and a raccoon tail. Once a month during the full moon, of course, Rawhead can be seen rising through the woods on the back of a horse wearing the hunter’s clothes looking for his next victim. I forgot all the details of, like, Rawhead, like, gets a horse and gets reanimated and stuff like that. I love that.
Amanda: Yeah, this was a very classic setup. I feel like the movie would have cut, you know, when it's like, ah, yes, you know, the nice, like, getting toward the credit scene of the Bloody Bones movie and they're, you know, safe and reunited with the grandfather at the wedding. And he's like, “But Rawhead,” and then, like, Rawhead runs on screen and then it’s the credits.
Julia: Yes. And then we get a sequel about Rawhead as the next part of the franchise.
Eric: The, the Bloody Bones cinematic universe.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. Part of the Appalachian cinematic universe, I feel like.
Amanda: Incredible. Well, do you guys want to risk a letdown and hear the origins of Toyota Tree?
Eric: Yes.
Julia: I – it needs to happen. I'm sorry.
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Yes.
Amanda: Excellent. So, this came one week later in April of 2017 from Carrie who wrote, “Hey, ladies, thanks for taking the time to hear my hometown’s mythical nonsense, lol. I have the story for you. And I'd love for you to talk about it on an episode if you can. I'd love to hear what you think, especially while drinking.” Well, Carrie, goodness.
Eric: We’ll do you one better. We'll talk about it twice.
Amanda: So, to jump in and give a little background, I grew up on the south side of San Antonio, Texas. My father owns land and currently lives off of a well-known street called Applewhite Road. It's really on the outskirts of San Antonio, but everyone who's grown up here knows the history in San Antonio. Before Applewhite Road expanded and the Toyota plant was placed there and brought lots of job opportunities, it used to be just a one lane road.
Julia: Okay. No, we need to stop because, “Amanda, how long is this email?”
Amanda: This email – this is the beginning of the first paragraph. There are five paragraphs in total.
Julia: Yes. So, you guys --
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: -- I'm reading this goddamn --
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: -- story. I get three sentences in.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: And you all go on a 10-minute tangent about the Toyota tree. And I'm looking at the email being like, “There's so much left here.”
Eric: So, here's the thing. What happen if you don't recall this, this early hometowns episode? Is that Amanda, I believe --
Amanda: Yeah. No, it was all me.
Eric: -- was so confused by the idea of a Toyota plant.
Julia: A plant that grows Toyotas.
Eric: It was like she – she thought it was a tree that grew Toyotas.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: I was more charmed by the image. Like, I, I get the --
Eric: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think – I’m not saying you, you believe --
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: -- Toyota's grow on trees a few years ago.
Amanda: Just the play on words.
Eric: But me and Amanda just could not contain this ridiculous image inside of our – inside of our heads and just --
Amanda: It’s staggering.
Eric: -- loss at the entire – I don't know. I don't know the – anything more about this email.
Amanda: No.
Eric: I only remember the Toyota plant part, but, god, if it doesn't live in my memory.
Amanda: I, in fact, tried extremely hard to commission Toyota Christmas tree ornaments for both of you that year and was unable to find a, a good enough vendor or, like, someone who could – who could, like, make that a little tiny one that was branded Toyota in some way.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Lots of car ornaments, but not specifically Toyota ones. I did attempt it. And, looking back, I completely derailed the story. But, you know, that's what we're here for. And, sometimes, All Stars aren't the ones you expect. They're the ones you get.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Let's – let's try to appreciate the story for what it is now that we've gotten past the concept of planting a tree that --
Eric: Excellent. Yeah.
Julia: -- grows Toyotas.
Amanda: Yeah, I think – I think Carrie deserves it. This is title, by the way, The Donkey Lady. And it continues, “This used to be a one lane road. Later, when it started to populate in the mid-1990s, the street expanded into a two lane street. But it was still surrounded by a lane of trees following to Anderson Loop Highway where there were no lampposts and, at night, completely pitch black. I remember as a kid my father would avoid that street after dark. My mother, on the other hand, would purposely drive the street at night to get a fright out of us, which usually happen.
Julia: This is I love peak, like, parents trying to scare their children. I think that is a, a good segue from the Bloody Bones to this one.
Amanda: It is.
Julia: Because I remember Jake telling me many stories about how his dad used to drive he, his brother, and his neighbor to supposedly haunted streets just to really scare them.
Amanda: It's so charming.
Julia: It is. It's a classic.
Amanda: These are also parents born in, like, the late 60s, early 70s, like, too early for stranger danger. So, I feel like the, the, the moral panic was not there. And these kids were able to just get scared. Everyone used to call this one lane bridge, The Donkey Lady Bridge. They've been closed off now for several years. They built a bigger and better bridge on the other side. The story has different variations of what happened, but this is what I was always told. Somewhere between the 1930s and 50s, there was a girl who was born with donkey legs. This, meaning she had the exact legs of a donkey with hooves, hair, and all. She used to wear long dresses to cover them to ensure that no one would find out. Her mother and father neglected her because they were ashamed. Whether she was abandoned or just neglected, I'm not sure. During school, she was bullied for her shyness and the kids soon found out that she had donkey legs when they push her to the ground and saw her dress ride up.
Julia: Man, kids suck.
Amanda: Kids do suck. These kids run amok telling all of their parents and the gossip traveled through the community. The little girl eventually grew up and had her own family, which, hell yeah, don't – don't let these fuckers get you down.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Live your life. Good.
Julia: Find love.
Amanda: Tragically, because she was still not accepted, the community went over to her home years later and burned it to the ground with her and her two kids inside. They say that she never forgave the community for what they did and how they treated her all of those awful years. Good.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: So, they say that she haunts the actual road and bridge of Applewhite. In other versions of the story, she was a woman who just had two kids, no donkey legs, and got injuries in house fire and her children died in that same fire.
Julia: Aww.
Amanda: So, she haunts the area looking for their souls.
Julia: Very, like, La Llorona-esque, I feel like.
Amanda: Yeah, a lot of, like, classic elements in here.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: It's said, on this bridge and in the town of Applewhite Road, you can hear her chasing after you and running after your car while driving. You can hear the hooves and donkey noises hoofing like a horse does.
Julia: It’s very good.
Amanda: You can also hear it keeping up alongside your car while driving. She waits under the bridge and tries to scare off anyone who enters her territory. Some people have also seen red eyes and a figure of her themselves. A standard-looking woman on top with the legs of a donkey. People have also seen versions of her that are scarred from the house fire.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm.
Amanda: I never understood why it was that particular road until about five years ago.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Amanda: The City of San Antonio had built a travel park with trails in the back roads near Medina Lake. You could either mountain bike through the trails or they have walking and hiking ones too. Applewhite Road crosses over that river at one point. And you can see on the map or google it if you want to. My sister and I had went hiking through there when it first opened. And we noticed that, about 15 to 20 minutes into walking one trail, there was this old abandoned house that looked pretty burnt.
Julia: Uh-umm.
Amanda: It was more of a shell.
Julia: Uh-uh.
Amanda: There were also several fireplaces just out by themselves like as if a house had one sat around each of them. It was super creepy.
Julia: That's cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Amanda: So, I think maybe, if it's a true story, that could be the place. I'm not sure. But this is what I do know about the story or, at least, one version of it.
Julia: Now, I'm gonna get sentimental about urban legends again because this is what our show is about.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Julia: But I really do feel like this story is very familiar. And I like the idea of, like, town tragedy happens, we turn it into a haunting or a supernatural creature or something like that to kind of explain it away. And then generational, like, evidence still exists of that thing. So, the house that looks burned down or the just like just fireplaces still standing is very cool. And, like, of course, generationally, these kids don't remember like in the 60s when that house burned down and the, the tragedy that occurred there. But they know the story because that's what they've been told.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: I also think there's something very spooky. And I'm sure we – I mean we might even be able do like a roundup on it. But, like, bridges --
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: There's something about bridges that, like, really add like an interesting detail. Obviously, that you've got, like, a passage from one world to the next kind of with a bridge. But, like, a lot of stories involve a bridge in some way – a physical bridge.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: And maybe a spiritual bridge.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: But, yeah, I always think that, that, like, the addition of a bridge is, is so evocative even though it's such a simple addition.
Julia: Yeah, well, it's a --
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: It's a transferring from one place to another kind of thing. It's also like bridging a gap between, like, the living in the dead. And the – like, being able to cross over running water, which is a huge thing in a lot of different mythology and cultures. Just bridges, in general, can be scary, but also very, like, evocative and representative.
Amanda: Yeah. And stick with me. Bridges, I think, are also kind of like the pinnacle of human achievement and civilization in that it is a thing that is difficult to do that people have to, you know, come together that are a real material kind of, like, change that humans do on the environment. Before we did that destructively a lot, you know, that was kind of the version of like, “Hell yeah. Like, we can make our life easier for ourselves and, you know, make the environment work for us instead of the other way around by building infrastructure like that.” And, so, I think there's something about, you know, that kind of like the peak of orderliness and infrastructure and being able to count on getting from one place to another. I think, honestly, that is part of the appeal of Mothman apart from his extreme obscene hotness. It’s the fact that it is a, a bridge collapse, which is kind of like, “God, you know, I, I can't believe that that is even possible.” And, so, I think stuff taking place in and around bridges is like this – even here, like, this isn't safe either.
Julia: Yeah, absolutely. Fully agree.
Eric: Yeah. Well, I've got a story from, from a true classic.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: It is the King of Crawdads.
Amanda: The Crawdad king!
Julia: The Crawdad king!
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: I mean Crawdad King is a classic. My email after the, the, the refill will also be a Crawdad King tale.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Oh, fantastic.
Eric: And I mean I think this has possibly the, the single best three-sentence opening that any, any of the read legend email we've ever got. It's hard to beat.
Amanda: I'm ready, Eric.
Eric: Here we go. It's me, yo’ boy, a new boy, a fresh boy.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: I’ll stop. That's actually a four sentence I included. But, you know, why not?
Julia: I'm sorry Why is that not merch? Why don't we have a shirt that says that?
Amanda: I know. We got to – we got to get in touch and see if this is possible.
Eric: Just a shirt that says, “Spirits Podcast, a fresh boy” and a picture of a crawdad. I mean I don't think we'd sell many, but I love it.
Julia: It’s a deep pun.
Amanda: I would love it too.
Eric: So, before I get into the main story, two things. One, y'all are amazing and make my day better, which is something you definitely haven't heard a million times.
Amanda: Aww.
Eric: We’ve heard it a few more million times as well.
Julia: But I, I like hearing it every time.
Amanda: Yes, please. We need validation.
Eric: Two, I have a quick list of things that have happened that I don't have the time to go into now. Some of these things might show up in the next email.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: Ooh.
Eric: My sailor dad has met a siren. I've been given gifts from fay. I've taken up witchcraft and it's gotten me into some weird shit. I've cussed out a ghost backstage of my school musical on opening night. The Cat – that’s – that's the whole lot of that line – and a ton of other things I won't bore you with.
Julia: I, I would not be bored by this. I want to hear every story.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: [Inaudible 26:38].
Amanda: We always do.
Eric: Anyway, onto the story, I live on Vancouver Island, British Columbia. And it has a bit of a reputation for less than normal activity. Lots of native spirits, of course, but many Japanese and European creatures seem to have come across when people migrated over and stole the bloody land. Thanks, guys. So, sightings such as Sasquatch and fay folk aren't uncommon. I, however, was still in my ghost phase. Not that I've ever left, but I've picked up the folklore by this point. So, I didn't have much knowledge of fay, nonhuman spirits, and the black dog.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: I think the crawdad king is also, like, a teenager at this point and I just am in awe.
Eric: The crawdad king is, I believe, 16 – maybe 15 at this point depending on --
Julia: Oh, my gosh.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: -- when the different emails were sent.
Amanda: Man, Gen Z, got to love them.
Julia: Just crushing it. Out there crushing it.
Eric: My parents were having a house party. And, being the tiny introvert nerd I am, I didn't really want to be around all the people telling me how big I was getting and asking about my elementary school love life. So, I went – so, I went out back to the back deck where a single low light was the only illumination. Running alongside the yard is a long shed, which I could access the roof of with a bit of clambering from the deck.
Julia: Oh, I remember this one now. It just flashed back to, like, two years – three years ago.
Eric: I sat up on the top to look at the stars thankful for the moment of peace when I heard a noise. I thought it was just a raccoon or something as that wouldn't be too farfetched. That assumption was quickly dashed like the dreams of a millennial art student.
Julia: Ouch! Ouch!
Amanda: Mhmm.
Eric: Way to put us a blast. We’ve been blasted.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: Oh, man, that hurts more now somehow.
Eric: Yeah, because we're old – because we're older and our dreams are slowly fading away from our grasps.
Julia: Oh, no.
Eric: That's okay though. We're all professional podcasters. If anything, our dreams have come to fruition more since this email was first written. Let me reiterate. This was a shingled shed with only one possible way for roof access. It would have been difficult for a human to get up there let alone a dog. But there it was, a big black dog, staring at me from the other end of the roof.
Amanda: Now, I'm with you. I remember.
Julia: Is this the email that invented heck pupper? I feel like this is the email that invented heck pupper.
Eric: The title of this email – we – I didn't read the title of this email – is, in fact, Fiddler on the Roof, but it's a heck pupper. And it's not a musical, which is a shame.
Amanda: Oh, man.
Julia: Yes!
Amanda: Oh, the crawdad king, you've given us so much.
Julia: So many gifts.
Amanda: Long may you rule.
Eric: I froze because, listen, even as an 11-year-old, I still have the common sense to know that this was some sure fire nature fuckery. No one on our street had a dog like that. And, even if they did, this guy was huge and its eyes were bright golden, not reflecting the light but emitting their own. A woodsmen double lantern in the fog. And then it began to run towards me. It ran across a shingled sharply angled narrow roof towards this horrified little kid who was too afraid to jump out of the way and also fucking lazy even then. I was pretty sure this is how I died. A big naughty pupper Air Bud had led me to my death. It didn't reach me though. When it was just a few feet away, the dog vanished. It didn't fall off the roof either. I checked.
Julia: Smart.
Eric: Plus, there wasn't any thump or sad dog sounds. It just up and disappeared. Maybe this is why I wasn't allowed on the shed. I did the reasonable thing and bolted. I tried to tell my mom, but she was distracted with her guests. Ain't that just the way? By the way, this whole time the dog made no noise. I looked it up the next day. As I said earlier, I hadn't known of Shucks, grims, heck puppers beforehand. So, I'm sure I didn't imagine this. Anyway, love your podcast. I've never really told this story in so much detail before. I tried my best to make it something you guys would enjoy. Have fun reading all the other emails in your inbox after this. Signed Cecil, King of Crawdads.
Julia: Cecil.
Amanda: Cecil, the one and true and forever Crawdad King.
Julia: The Crawdad King still giving us gifts even now.
Amanda: Well, Eric, I am really eager to hear the next Crawdad King installment. But, first, do you guys want to go grab a refill?
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: Let's do it.
Midroll Music
Amanda: We are sponsored this week by Stitch Fix. I was streaming last week and somebody asked me where my shirt was from. And I grinned and said, “You know it's Stitch Fix.” I asked in my last fix for a bunch of tunics that I could wear with leggings and boots because I, I'm just not about pants right now. And they came through with some super adorable pieces that are light because I mentioned how hot my office is. So, they, they look wintery and they're very cozy, but they are, in fact, nice and thin and light. So, what I so appreciate about Stitch Fix is that I don't have to – like, how can you filter for that on online shopping? I can go to the few sites that I know my size in or that I know I sort of like. But, being able to like look at the feel of the material, I have to, like, read the, the ingredient list. I have to look at reviews. I have to hope that what I am asking for is the thing that I am getting. 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Get started today at stitchfix.com/spirits and you'll get 25 percent off when you keep everything in your fix. That's at stitchfix.com/spirits for 25 percent off when you keep everything in your fix, stitchfix.com/spirits. We are also sponsored this week by Function of Beauty. And I know that lots of us have set goals for 2021 or committed to new actions, new giving, new whatever you are focusing on for the year. But have you thought about your hair goals? If you don't have them, then consider it because Function of Beauty is the world leader in customizable beauty products offering precise formulations for your hair’s specific needs. This is how they work. You go to a quick but thorough quiz that they have on their website to tell them a little bit about your hair type and hair goals such as lengthen it, or volumize it, or oil control for example. And, because your hair changes with the season – I know my hair is very different in the wintertime when I get out of the shower than it is in the summer – you can also change your hair goals before you get a next shipment of Function of Beauty. You can choose the color that you want, the name you want printed on the bottle to customize it, and your fragrance as well as fragrance level. Or go fragrance and dye free. It's not very easy to find those products out there. Plus, subscribers get access to more exclusive colors and scents. Then their team determines the perfect blend of ingredients for you, bottles it, and delivers it. There are over 54 trillion possible formulations. It's pretty staggering. So, you're gonna want to try this out. Don't buy off the shelf just to be disappointed ever again. Go instead to functionofbeauty.com/spirits to take your quiz and save 20 percent on your first order. That applies to their full range of customized hair, skin, and body products. Go to functionofbeauty.com/spirits to let them know you heard about it from us and to get 20 percent off your order, functionofbeauty.com/spirits. And, finally, if there is something keeping you up at night, if there is something on your mind, if there's something that's interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals, BetterHelp is a great option for you to get help. You deserve to be happy. You deserve for somebody to listen to you and take your concerns seriously and help you navigate this extremely complicated thing that we are all in, which is life. And BetterHelp assesses your needs to match you with your own licensed professional therapist and you can start communicating in under 48 hours. I have therapy every Sunday night. And, when I was getting off the call with my therapist this week, we were talking about something I wanted to work on for the week. She’s just like, “Listen, you know, if there – if anything goes wrong, If you, you know, feel worried, if you, you know, do something and it doesn't go as you expect, just, you know, message me in the app and we can talk about it. And either we can hop on a call or I can just get back to you and, you know, give you some guidance and, you know, give you just a little bit of peace of mind. And, so, that is my favorite thing about BetterHelp that you can talk to your therapist anytime. It's also available for clients worldwide. And, if you ever need to change therapists, they make it free and easy, which is not true everywhere else. They're more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Spirits listeners get 10 percent off their first month at betterhelp.com/spirits. That's betterH-E-L-P.com/spirits to get 10 percent off your first month of counseling. Do it, guys. You deserve it. And, now, let's get back to the show. Hello. We are back and I got a local delivery from a brewery that I visited a few years ago that is very hard to get to from my house. So, I was really delighted when they started offering local delivery. This is from Bridge and Tunnel Brewery, which is a wonderful name for anyone familiar with the parlance of New York City. And they have a Cawfee, C-A-W-F-E-E, coffee cream ale that also has a label inspired by those iconic, like, Grecian coffee cups --
Julia: Yes.
Amanda: -- that you see in Law and Order and stuff. So, I – it's just like it hits – it hits. Like, I am the target audience. It hits me right. And I also love a cream ale. I love a coffee beer. So, I've really been enjoying that.
Julia: That sounds really, really good. I kind of want all of that.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: I've been just going with a – with just an all-star classic beer.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Just the Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA.
Julia: Classic.
Amanda: A classic truly.
Eric: It just – you know, it does the job every time.
Julia: It does. It really does.
Amanda: You need a reliable beer.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: You do. And I went with the – one of my favorite breweries here on Long Island, which is Greenport Harbor Brewing Company. And they have this really good one called Upick! Raspberry. As in like out by Greenport and, like, the North Shore of Long Island, there's a lot of like you pick farms.
Amanda: Ahh.
Julia: So, like, you go and you pick the farm – the berries and the fruit yourself, which I think is a lot of fun. But this one is like a pale – like a pale ale that's also lightly hopped and it's got that, like, kind of spritzy flavor to it and then a lot of raspberry and then a little bit of like tart lime flavor. It's really nice.
Amanda: Incredible.
Eric: Do we want to jump straight into the, the second --
Julia: Follow up with crawdad, yeah.
Amanda: You, you know it.
Eric: -- follow email by Crawdad King?
Amanda: Yes, please.
Eric: This email, shockingly, comes to us from the Crawdad King. And the – it's titled Crawdad King and the spooky boys, Canada's hottest new boy band.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Yo boys are back.
Julia: Pow, pow, pow.
Eric: Because I immediately form an attachment to anyone who gives me attention, so, congrats. You're all my parents now.
Julia: Yay.
Eric: I – also, I heartily accept my new role as Eric. I don't remember what that was. I think you guys temporarily kicked me off the podcast.
Julia: Yes. Yes. We were gonna replace you with Cecil.
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Eric: You don’t think I have it. Cecil replaced me.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: That sounds right.
Eric: It didn't work, Cecil. Take that. I’m still here.
Julia: Bwahaha.
Amanda: You just have a lasting legacy of our podcast that's truer than ever three years later.
Eric: So, since the reading of my first email had me making noises that made my mum think the cats were crying for help, I've decided to send in another story. Not one of the previously teased ones though. Oh. So, I completely lied to everybody before the break.
Julia: Hahaha.
Amanda: That’s okay. You got to keep it through the ads, Eric. Keep them through the ads.
Eric: Because none of them are quite as media enough for an email. Though, I may send the siren one at some point --
Julia: Please.
Eric: -- if you're not sick of me by the end of this.
Julia: We're not.
Eric: This is what I like to call my spooky boy anthology four-ish different spooky encounters of mine that have all shared an uncomfortable similarity. Images and editor notes from my kittens will be provided for your convenience.
Julia: Excellent.
Eric: The kitten, not a good editor. It’s just a bunch of random symbols at the end of this email are the notes.
Julia: Oh, of course. It's just – it's just a cat that walked over keyboard.
Eric: It sure is. For the sake of dramatic escalations, I shall order them from fuck off spooky shadow to my entire conception of the physical nature of spooky events has been rocked forever.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm.
Eric: But that's fine. I'm fine.
Julia: I’m, I absolutely trust that you are fine from the just the text of that email.
Eric: Let's begin. Tallboy, age at time, 15. I like – I like that this feels like it's like the intro to like a noir film.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: Yeah, like title cards.
Eric: Yeah, exactly.
Amanda: Yeah. And we haven't – we haven't analyzed just what makes Crawdad King’s emails so good. For me, I just – I love something with a strong narrative voice. Like, getting a sense of the person is always so fun and really transports you to either their experience or, like with Bloody Bones, you know, I can hear the grandfather telling me that.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: So, I just – I, I think that, that Cecil's such a strong writer and I appreciate that.
Julia: It's – it's the tone. Absolutely, I agree.
Eric: The first spooky boy I shall describe was what I would consider the most traditional spooky boy. You know that feeling when you get when you're alone in a room at night and feel like something there is off? Of course, you do. It's like the beach kiss scene of creepy stories.
Julia: Yes, of course.
Eric: Anyway, I was sitting on my bed writing an essay on Shakespeare's dick jokes and getting a shitload of that feeling.
Julia: What a good topic for an essay.
Amanda: Hell yeah.
Eric: There's a lot of them.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: I tried my best to ignore it because fuck that. But, eventually, it was so strong. I looked up from my writing, which says a lot. And there was this spindly motherfucker. He was standing in my closet, which doesn't have any doors and just watching me. He was tall. It looked like he was made of scribbles. He had no features except for his two long white eyes and he watched. I blinked and he was gone.
Julia: Okay. Hold on. Long, long white eyes. Long eyes? Eyes, eyes that are long?
Eric: Eyes that are long.
Julia: I hate that.
Eric: Yeah.
Julia: That's bad.
Eric: I don't know. Don't know. Don't know which way either.
Julia: Probably --
Eric: Like anime eyes?
Julia: I think, like, long as in like – I don't know. Like, I'm, I’m trying to --
Eric: Big, big anime eyes.
Julia: Start, start from top and then go down is how I'm picturing.
Eric: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: Like, little – like, little tubes.
Amanda: I picturing goat pupil shaped eyes. The worst kind.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Amanda: The only bad thing about goats.
Eric: No Good. Bed boy, age 15, but, like, several months later before Tallboy in the closet.
Julia: That should have been your warning.
Eric: I was over at my friend's house for the night, which is never a sentence that precedes anything good in these types of stories.
Julia: That's true.
Eric: It was probably around 3:00 in the morning and me, being the idiot that I am – I’ve forgotten my sleep meds – was wide awake. I was listening to podcast to past the time and had – could you even imagine like being out of sleep over and just being like, “I can't sleep. I’ll listen to a podcast.” No, because --
Julia: Just very quiet.
Eric: -- we didn’t iPods when we were this young.
Amanda: Changed everything.
Eric: I was listening to podcasts to past the time and I had been relaxing to the voices of the McElroys when I felt a weight on me --
Julia: Uh-umm.
Eric: -- as if something was climbing across my leg.
Julia: Uh-umm.
Eric: My friend had a dog and a cat. So, I just assumed it was one of them. Though this hadn't really felt like an animal. It felt human? I looked over at my friend. She was fast asleep, the cat curled up next to her, and the dog snoring away at her feet.
Julia: No, no, no. No, no, no.
Eric: So, fuck that. Then I saw it. It was the same sketchy white-eyed creature I had described before. Except this one was hunched over on all fours less than five feet from me.
Julia: I hate that.
Eric: I decided I pretty much preferred shitty Yahoo questions than an actual fucking demon. So, I squeezed my eyes shut, turned up the volume on my headphones, and did not look again for at least an hour. Of course, it was gone. Crawdad King with an early version of ignore it.
Julia: Team ignorant very early on.
Eric: Third story, cat scaring boy, age 10. When I lived in the Blue House where I saw the heck pupper, I had two things important to the story. A hallway between my room and my brothers with no door or any other way to cover it and a cat named Icarus.
Julia: What a good – sorry. What a good cat name.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: Excellent cat name.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Eric: So, Icarus liked to sleep in my bed with me because we're bros.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: It was around 9:00 at night and pretty dark out. I was petting Icarus and he was purring because he's a fucking suck up. I heard footsteps in the hallway. His purring stopped abruptly and his fur stood on end. Concerned for my furry bud, I gently picked him up and asked him what was wrong. He crypt his claws into my shirt and stared with pure horror at the hall. I looked over and, in seconds, my cat and I were wearing the exact same expression. See, we have a special bond. There was one of the figures there. She was watching us like the others and had her hand pressed onto the wall. Now, I say she because, while the other ones gave off a genderless or vaguely masculine aura, I could immediately feel that this was a woman.
Amanda: Hmm.
Eric: You think ghosts would join me in the fuck gender category --
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: -- but I guess not. Anyway, that was horrifying. Also, the first one I ever saw.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: So, we – so, we've gotten the prequel with that one.
Julia: Yes.
Eric: Then we got some follow ups and now this is the last one --
Julia: The most.
Eric: -- that I'll write about.
Julia: Uh-oh.
Eric: Tiny boy, age 16. I, I just scrolled to the bottom of this email and forgot that there are drawings of, of, of the creatures.
Julia: Oh, excellent.
Eric: Hate it. Hate it. They look – they look kind of like – like bad Spidermans. But I'd say it's very spooky. Very spooky. I work as a library page. I'm pretty used to creepy shit there, but it's mostly in the form of adult men thinking I'm there for them to hit on and/or ask about dreams.
Amanda: Yep, yep, yep.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Eric: Unfortunately for them, I'm gay as fuck. But this creepy was more on the grudge junior TM level and also kind of cute.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: I was shelving books as is my job and one of the shelves was too full for me to put them in. So, I began shifting the books down to make room. I pulled a few books off and dropped them on my foot when I saw what was behind them. It was a tiny little spooky boy. They were hardly as big as my finger and probably the most adorable hellspawn I'd ever seen. Now, the reason why this is the weirdest one is that, unlike the others, this little guy didn't disappear after a few moments. No. This thing decided it wanted a ride.
Julia: Gonna hang out.
Eric: When a spooky boy wants something, you'd better do it. And that's the story of how I had a tiny demon on my shoulder gripping my shirt with an extremely corporeal feeling way for, at least, 10 minutes until it disappeared.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: Anyway, I hope you like these. Now, a final parting word from my kitten. And then there's just a, a barrage of, of characters. Cecil the true king of crawdads with help from Puppeta and Coco.
Julia: Puppeta.
Amanda: Aww. What a good name.
Julia: Also, the, the drawings are very impressive, honestly.
Eric: Yeah, they're spooky. We’ll – we’ll include them with the – we’ll include one with the, the extras on Patreon.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: All right, guys. I am ready to follow up that wonderful doubleheader with a, a choice. We’re forking paths in the woods here.
Julia: Ooh.
Eric: Uh-oh.
Amanda: Do we want my favorite creepy story? Or do we want a story that I cannot get through without laughing every few sentences?
Julia: Ooh. Umm. Umm.
Eric: I, I want --
Julia: That’s so hard.
Eric: I want the laughing one. I want the funny one.
Julia: Okay.
Amanda: Okay. I will save the other one, how about this, for the bonus episode this month.
Julia: Great.
Eric: Perfect.
Amanda: Okay. So, patrons look forward to that. All right, guys. This one is titled Hometown Folklore, Millis, Massachusetts. We're fine so far.
Eric: Yeah. Don't recall it.
Amanda: This comes to us from Joseph.
Julia: Who I think – I think I might know this one. What was the title of it again?
Amanda: It's called Hometown Folklore, Millis, Massachusetts.
Julia: Oh, yep, I know which one it is. Go ahead.
Amanda: Julia. Remarkable. Okay. Millis was founded in the 17th century colonial period under the name Bogastow Farms and was later incorporated as East Medway and then later Millis. The main site you'll hear about if you look into Millis’ --
Julia: Here it comes.
Amanda: -- if you look into Miliss’ folklore is called (don't laugh) The Dinglehole. Wooh!
Julia: Dinglehole.
Eric: Oh, god.
Amanda: That’s right. The Dinglehole, baby.
Julia: Dinglehole.
Amanda: Oh, shit. I'm, I’m really having trouble.
Eric: Oh, boy.
Amanda: Oh, it’s – oh, boy. Okay. Again, I don't have any details in my mind whatsoever about any other part of this email. So, let's – let's try.
Julia: Just Dinglehole.
Eric: Just like – all listeners, open up your podcast app, look at how long is left on this email. I know what Julia’s final email is. And it's not terribly long. So, almost all of it is gonna be Amanda just laughing while reading this apparently.
Julia: I’m very excited. Let's do it.
Amanda: The site is a steep depression that is filled with dark water. When it freezes over, local residents to say it looks eerily bottomless. The stories I read as a child described frequent unusual happenings centered around this landmark. Bells can often be heard ringing, said to be rang by satanic imps and possibly giving the hole its name. Though, there's also the suggestion that it is more directly demonic or satanic in origin.
Julia: Dinglehole because there's bells? That's why? Because it just dingle, dingle?
Amanda: Maybe. Maybe. The hole would also attract unusual wildlife such as weasels and raccoons, which could not be caught or killed by any hunters and wouldn't show signs of any injury even if shot point blank. These animals are said to be local witches who are visiting the devil and his servants in magical animal form in order to pledge themselves to him. Editorial.
Eric: I love that the devil is hanging out --
Julia: At the Dinglehole.
Eric: -- at the Dinglehole.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: I know. I'm just gonna say they want to pledge themselves to the devil in the Dinglehole.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: Like, like you – in Buffy lore, you've got hell gatehouse --
Julia: Hellmouth. Yeah.
Eric: -- or whatever they're called. Hellmouths. And, in real life, we have the Dinglehole.
Julia: The Dinglehole.
Amanda: Again, guys, every time there is a word like bottom, enter, origin, I just – it's just I, I am restraining myself so much and I need praise for that.
Julia: You're – you're doing fantastic. Go on.
Amanda: Thank you. One story tells of a hunter cramming a bow of witch hazel into the barrel of his gun and firing it into the face of raccoon only to have a “unpopular lady” in town named Murky Mullen --
Julia: Murky Mullen. What a good name.
Eric: Murky.
Amanda: Murky.
Eric: Murky Mullen.
Julia: Murky Mullen.
Amanda: Incredible.
Julia: Even worse.
Amanda: I bet Murky Mullen was a great person. So, Murky Mullen would later show up with an unexplained injury in roughly the same area of her face. Very dark. How's that happening? Anyway, a similar story is told about an ox cart that refused to move by the Dinglehole until the driver whipped at the wheels and then it moved again. Later, a local suspected witch was said to have been seen covered in welts from the whip having been invisibly holding the cart in place.
Julia: Hmm. Okay. Okay.
Amanda: Another story is that of a Mrs. Cabbage who was walking back from her knitting circle in the snow with her unfinished knitting pinned to her dress.
Julia: These can't be real names. Mrs. Cabbage. Come on.
Amanda: That does sound like a, a folk tale. But Murky Mullen sounds like a Massachusetts sass witch. She heard what sounded like a step in the snow behind her and turned around to see a black creature in the snow right at her heels. She raced home the shape chasing her all the way to her door where she slammed it in its face to escape. The next morning, she realized her knitting was no longer attached to her dress. She found it on her doorstep the next morning suggesting that the little creature that chased her was probably just her knitted stocking being dragged behind her by its yarn.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. Checks out.
Amanda: I love this really one-two punch of like a genuinely creepy thing and then like, “Oh, well, sometimes it just scares you and then you're okay.”
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: There are scattered historical reports of the Dinglehole having been filled in, which I can attest is certainly not true as I pass it on the school bus every day for years. If you'd like to see it on Google Maps, I provided you with a screenshot and the coordinates, which I have put on our Instagram today. It is a deep hole with tall trees in it that barely stick up above the ground.
Julia: Oooh. Okay. Here we go. Looking at the Dinglehole, one second.
Amanda: It's also just like where a house should be. It's shocking.
Julia: Oh, yeah. Weird. What a weird hole.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: And Joseph writes that it probably was partially filled in where you see the street going – like, intersecting the hole. He thinks that it was kind of like basically double the size that it was. And it was partially filled in to let that road go through.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: But, even if that's so, like, this is a house the size just deep depression in the ground.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: And it is genuinely pretty scary.
Julia: How strange.
Eric: There’s also like a house behind it.
Julia: Yeah.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: It looks like it's like a pond in someone's yard. And it's weird.
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: But it is instead the Dinglehole.
Julia: Dinglehole.
Amanda: Joseph signs off, “By far, the most exciting part of these stories about the Dinglehole is that I found the original publication about them titled The History of Medway Mass 1713 to 1885. It was actually converted into an ebook and is free to read on Google. I use it to check the consistency of these stories and they're identical to the ones I heard as a kid.
Julia: Hell yeah, I love consistencies in stories and folktales.
Amanda: We have a free historical document. We have some physical and image-based companions. We have the name of the Dinglehole and two, I think, really interesting stories. So, I am – I am proud of myself. I thought I wouldn't be able to get through it.
Julia: Proud of you.
Amanda: And, you know, thank you, Joseph, June 2017. What a – what salad days for our urban legends?
Julia: What a classic. All right, gang. We're going to finish up this episode I think with probably our most retold story of the podcast.
Eric: Is this the first time we did a live show? It was the first time we did a live show together.
Julia: This was the first time we did a live show. We also did it a second time when we did our Portland live show.
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: And then we're doing it again because it's still one of my favorite stories of all time.
Eric: But I think we also – in Seattle, didn’t we do two nights and we read it back to back --
Julia: Did we?
Eric: -- both nights, I’m pretty sure?
Julia: We might. We might have.
Eric: I’m pretty sure we read it both nights because of how stupid this story was.
Julia: It's – it's wonderful. I love it so much. Okay.
Amanda: I love it so much. You, you can just – you just say the word Crince and all three of us, like, grin and start giggling.
Eric: It’s – like, it was a ridiculous word. It's the word – I think it’s the only word that we've read in these emails that just isn't anything.
Julia: It’s nothing.
Eric: So, it’s the only – it can only bring up thoughts of, of these moments.
Amanda: Even Dinglehole, it's like, “Okay. I get it. That sounds like a --
Eric: Yeah.
Amanda: -- place in Massachusetts. All right.”
Julia: This comes from John and it's titled Crince, the self-conscious pizza delivery ghost with picks.”
Amanda: Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Julia: So, hey, ladies and Eric, brand new listener here. I love everything you guys do and it makes my high traffic drives to and from work a little less stressful. I'm writing to tell you the story of a strange presence which resided in my college apartment in Harrisonburg, Virginia while I attended James Madison University. My roommates will Kyle and Charlie and I moved into the apartment in 2013. About two weeks into living there, we started noticing some interesting noises. Strange knocking noises would constantly come from the utility closet in the center of the apartment. It was always a series of two to five solid loud knocks. We initially believed it to be pipes or some vents. However, we soon discovered that the area in which the knocking came from had nothing like that running through it. I also – like. for a second rereading this, I was like it's probably just like banging on the pipes or something like that.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: Like, your hot water heater or something. But, no, apparently not.
Amanda: It is not.
Julia: As we continued to live there, we got used to the knocking and joked that this was a benevolent guardian ghosts. We would often drunkenly call out, “Stop knocking, ghosts.” And it would stop almost immediately. Eventually, we started seeing brief sudden movement from inside the bedroom directly off the main room. Our roommate, Will, who lived in that room did not appreciate us bringing up what we saw. He quickly was done with the joking about the ghost and was very uncomfortable with any mention of it. He and Charlie moved out of the apartment the next year for unrelated reasons. Sure.
Amanda: Okay.
Julia: In the summer of 2014, the remaining roommate, Kyle, and I were staying in town for summer classes. We spent a long night hanging out and talking about how the ghost was kind of a jerk for scaring Will so often. Around 4:00 AM, one of us said, “I wonder what its name is,” as I started to doze off on the couch. And, suddenly, without really thinking, I said the word, “Crince.” It’s still so good.
Amanda: It’s so good.
Eric: Crince.
Amanda: Crince.
Eric: Crince.
Julia: I really don't remember doing it, but Kyle swears I was the one who said it.
Amanda: That's because the spirit of Crince overtook your body and said its name.
Julia: It’s exactly what happened. 100 percent.
Eric: I mean that’s – that’s what happened.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: It's clearly Crince possessed you.
Amanda: Where – from where else does the word Crince come? Come on, guys.
Julia: Is it like Chris and Vince?
Eric: The only way this makes sense is, if you're watching Tim Burton's Batman --
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: -- soundtrack by Prince.
Amanda: Yes.
Julia: Mhmm.
Eric: And you just accidentally mispronounce Prince and say Crince.
Amanda: Yeah.
Eric: Outside of that extremely specific situation, there's no reason to possibly in any way say the word Crince.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. I, I picture it as a combination of the name Chris and Vince, personally.
Eric: Mhmm.
Amanda: Oh, interesting.
Julia: Hmm.
Amanda: I also thought Prince and I was like you're trying to say Charlie and then realize Prince is a much better name. And then it just comes out together.
Julia: You know, valid.
Eric: But what about this? What about this?
Amanda: Okay.
Eric: Crinson Vincent.
Julia: Crinson Vincent?
Eric: That's nothing. That doesn't benefit us in anyway.
Julia: Mhmm. No, I like it.
Eric: But I – it – that popped into my head just now and I thought I had to say it.
Julia: I mean I agree. I think Crince is a nickname for --
Amanda: Yeah.
Julia: Crincent.
Amanda: I do think you bring up a startling possibility, which is that St. Vincent, the musician, probably --
Eric: Oh, yes.
Amanda: -- had released a mixtape under the name Crince.
Eric: Hmm.
Amanda: That sounds like a very St. Vincent thing to do.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: Yes.
Julia: Hmm.
Eric: It's possible.
Julia: I’m into that.
Eric: Anything's possible with Crince.
Julia: Anything's possible with Crince.
Amanda: If you believe in the Dinglehole, in Bloody Bones, and in Crince, anything is possible.
Julia: That is true.
Amanda: They are our gods now. We have nothing else left.
Julia: We pray to the saints that are Bloody Bones, Crince, and the Dinglehole.
Amanda: Mhmm.
Julia: Okay. Okay. It was then that we decided that his name was Crince. Over the years of living there, Crince's actions became more pronounced as guests would see a “person” or here particularly violent knocking in the dark while crashing on our couch. New roommates came and went to all having at least one inexplicably encounter with Crince. One night in 2015, we were showing a friend of ours the horror video game PT. We were constantly teasing her by saying Crince would come out of the TV to scare her. To which she said, “I fucking hate ghosts.”
Eric: Hmm. You don't want to say that during both the playing of PT and when Crince is around?
Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: This was answered by a huge crash from the bathroom, which we discovered was the wall mirror coming loose from its fixtures to shatter in the sink. After that, we stopped slandering his good name.
Amanda: Okay, guys. That is very hard to do. They really fix those things on right because, if it breaks, that happens and it's bad.
Julia: Yes, it is probably – I don't want to judge these – the living space that these boys have found themselves in. It is probably a shitty college apartment though. So --
Amanda: Yeah, I mean it's not their fault that it's just gonna be like a shitty college rental.
Julia: Mhmm.
Amanda: But, that being said, I still find that, like, many, many weird things have happened to me in my many shitty apartments and that has not been one of them. But I am just a single person with one sample size, you know, but it feels – it feels Crincey to me.
Julia: Yeah. The later years we lived there were marked by a consistent uptick --
Eric: Crince, the later years.
Julia: Crince, the later years. They were marked by a consistent uptick in activity until one day our apartment complex did some renovations.
Amanda: Uh-oh.
Julia: See, clearly needed those renovations.
Amanda: Yeah, right.
Julia: During this, a series of holes were cut into the ceiling to fix some insulation and piping. The day they cut the holes, I walked over to one. A piece of paper just fell out of it onto my head. It was a coupon for Domino's Pizza in 1995.
Eric: Yes, it was.
Amanda: Yes, it was. Yes, it was.
Julia: I showed my roommate and other friends who all thought it was bizarre and hilarious.
Amanda: Yep.
Julia: After this, we noticed that Crince was significantly less active. We always joked that his “unfinished business” was to make sure that we save some money the next time we ordered pizza. I will send a picture of the coupon in an email to you guys, which I will share in a moment.
Amanda: Yes.
Eric: Mhmm.
Julia: Eventually, I moved out and some other close friends took our place, all reporting some minor encounters with Crince. As of last year, people from our friend group lineage have moved out. And it’s now occupied by strangers. Our immediate friend group remembers Crince fondly and, while I'm not sure if he remains active to this day, he definitely left an impact.
Amanda: Oh, Crince, you beautiful coupon clipping ghost.
Eric: I love Crince.
Julia: So, I'm just gonna read you what the gift certificate says because it is a gift certificate. And it says, “This gift certificate is good for your choice of two free orders of twisty breadsticks or four free Coca Cola classic or diet. This offer is valid with the purchase of any Domino's Pizza or Super Sub at a regular price. And it expires December 31st, 1995.
Eric: So close.
Amanda: I mean a gift certificate is even bigger unfinished business than a, a mere coupon.
Julia: I mean it says gift certificate, but this is a coupon.
Amanda: No, it’s a coupon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Julia: It is, “You get a free thing with a purchase of another thing.”
Amanda: It is. It is. It is. That's true.
Julia: Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Amanda: Oh, Crince.
Eric: Well, I mean what, what classic stories we, we --
Julia: So good.
Eric: -- we've gone through. Just some of the – some of the best ones. Truly, truly some of the best.
Julia: True classics.
Eric: We, we love them all so much. And we look forward to, to maybe, in another 40 episodes, having even more All Stars. All Stars 2.
Amanda: We do. Our, our anniversary week is actually next week or sometime between now and next episode. So, we do have a little something planned for that as well. But I think it is really fitting to celebrate our fifth anniversary of a podcast as a podcast to kick off our sixth year of podcasting together with this little look down memory lane. And, truly, this, this show, you know wouldn't be what it is without all of you conspirators writing in, being creepy, getting our jokes, and telling us about these sweet, sweet coupon clipping ghosts. So, thank you.
Julia: Yeah. And, if you are one of the listeners who we read your story as one of our All Stars, hit us up. You know, we want to hear updates about your spooky stories and, you know, how, how everyone's doing or what's up with the Dinglehole?
Amanda: We would love to know what the Dinglehole is up to, specifically. Yeah.
Julia: What is up with it?
Amanda: All right, everybody. Thank you again. We love you. We'll see you next week and remember.
Julia: Stay creepy.
Amanda: Stay cool.
Theme Music
Amanda: Thanks again to our sponsors. At stitchfix.com/spirits, you’ll get 25 percent off when you keep your whole box. At betterhelp.com/spirits, you’ll get 10 percent off your first month counseling. And, at functionofbeauty.com/spirits, you'll save 20 percent off your first order.
Outro Music
Amanda: Spirits was created by Amanda McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, and Eric Schneider with music by Kevin MacLeod and visual design by Allyson Wakeman.
Julia: Keep up with all things creepy and cool by following us @SpiritsPodcast on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr. We also have all of our episode transcripts, guest appearances, and merch on our website as well as a form to send us your urban legends at spiritspodcast.com.
Amanda: Join our member community on Patreon, patreon.com/spiritspodcast, for all kinds of behind-the-scenes stuff. Just $1 gets you access to audio extras with so much more available too; recipe cards, director’s commentaries, exclusive merch, and real physical gifts.
Julia: We are a founding member of Multitude, a collective of independent audio professionals. If you'd like Spirits, you will love the other shows that live on our website at multitude.productions.
Amanda: And, above all else, if you liked what you heard today, please share us with your friends. That is the very best way to help us keep on growing.
Julia: Thank you so much for listening. Till next time.
Transcriptionist: Rachelle Rose Bacharo
Editor: Krizia Casil