Episode 66: Your Urban Legends VI - Yule Lads
/YULE LADS, ASSEMBLE! It’s time for some ridiculous and spooky tales that you, our listeners, have sent to us. Amanda asks you to adopt a phantom feline, Julia tries to explain away questionable Girl Scout trips, and Eric discovers that there is a lot of licking in Icelandic folklore.
Read more about the Edinburgh kirkyard here.
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Transcript
AM: Welcome to Spirits Podcast Episode 66: Your Urban Legends, Part VI.
JS: Oh.
AM: Lot of sixes. That’s three --
JS: Six. Six.
AM: Oh, that’s three sixes, Julia.
JS: Yep. You have cursed us all. Thank you for that.
AM: We, in this episode, no research of our own, but, instead, stories from you, our listeners. And we are so stoked to bring them to you. But, first, we would love to thank and welcome our newest patrons; Mariah and Megan, as well as to thank our supporting producer level patrons. The people who pledge money to us every episode at patreon.com/spiritspodcast and help us make the show and pay ourselves and our editor and, and ways to, you know, make some money and justify keep doing the show. And, truly, your support helps us keep doing this.
JS: And they get some great stuff in return.
AM: They do. They get perks. They get recipe cards. They get behind-the-scenes notes, where we reflect soberly on our drunken selves reading these, these letters and doing the research and telling the stories. So, thank you so, so much to Neal, Philip, Julie, Sara, Kristina, Josh, Eeyore, Sandra, Cammie, Lindsey, Ryan, Shelby, Lin, Mercedes, Phil, Catherine, and Debra, as well as our legend-level patrons; LeAnn, Ashley, Cassie, AshleyMarie, Bridge, and Shannon.
JS: You guys are all the spoon lickers of our hearts. It'll make sense in the episode.
AM: It will. It won't ever make sense, but it'll, at least, have context.
JS: It will have context.
AM: And, Julia, what were you drinking this episode?
JS: Umm, there is a very highlight – there's a very good story at the beginning of this episode --
AM: Yeah.
JS: -- that is inspired by Icelandic Mythology. So, I went out and I bought us a bottle of Icelandic Vodka. And we did a couple shots of this.
AM: I, normally, don't drink vodka, and this is why. And I get a little bit sloppy, a little bit – a little bit sad, a little bit sentimental.
JS: Yeah.
AM: We yell about pies.
JS: Yep.
AM: It's a pretty good episode. I’m not gonna lie.
JS: It’s pretty solid. We haven't done a recommendation corner in a while.
AM: That's true. What have you been listening to and reading these days?
JS: ars PARADOXICA just started up their last and final arc of their season. It is an amazing story about time travel and the Cold War and espionage. And it's absolutely gorgeous storytelling, gorgeous sound design. If you guys remember our Hero's Journey episode with audio drama wizard, Mischa Stanton --
AM: So good.
JS: -- you’ll know that they – everything that they touch is absolute gold. And you should catch up on ars PARADOXICA or be listening to it, because it is wonderful.
AM: And they just passed 2 million downloads.
JS: They did.
AM: So, congratulations, which I think on, on – today, February 28th, Spirits will also pass 2 million downloads.
JS: We’ll post about it on --
AM: It's very exciting.
JS: Yeah.
AM: I turned 26. We passed 2 million downloads.
JS: Yes, it's all --
AM: It's a great day.
JS: It's all you.
AM: And, for the record, if you listen to this episode, not the day it was released, in the far future, wish me Happy Birthday. Just tweet me. It's okay. I will accept it. My recommendation, I'm gonna recommend two books. One is very niche and one is good for literally every single listener to Spirits. So, the one that only probably a few of you will like is called The Power Broker. It won the Pulitzer Prize in the 1980s, I think. It's about Robert Moses, who was an architect and, like, city planner that shaped the, the way that New York City was built.
JS: I feel like you've recommended this before.
AM: In the – not on Spirits.
JS: Okay.
AM: I'm reading for the first time. It's, like, more than 1000 pages long. It won the Pulitzer Prize. It is about infrastructure and architecture and, like, money in, in city planning. And it is fucking riveting, people. It's so good. Especially if you live on Long Island, if you grew up in New York City, if you know this area, like, literally, every single thing that you think of as being, you know, defining about our hometown was made by this one guy in, like, a period of 30 years. And it is just incredible. So, if you like that kind of stuff, you will love The Power Broker. But, all of you, I promise, are going to love this book of short stories called Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado. It's this, like, magical realism collection of short stories. It is fucking feminist. It is queer. It is sci-fi. If you like Kelly Link, if you like Angela Carter, if you like Helen Oyeyemi, you are going to love this collection of stories. It is out. It's in your libraries. It is on your independent bookstores of the world. It's on Kindle if you need it. And it is so, so, so, so good. Please read it. And let me know what your favorite story is. I’ll also plug here our Goodreads group, which is linked to in the description of this podcast and where Spirits fans talk about the books that they love. So, that is a great place to get new recommendations and to share reviews of stories that you love.
JS: And share with us what stories you're listening to. We have a Facebook group. So, you guys should totally go post what you're reading, what you're watching, what you're listening to that is all kinds of creepy and cool.
AM: And urban legends of your own.
JS: Yeah.
AM: If you send us an email, repost that, that biz is in the Facebook group. People are gonna love it.
JS: Hell yeah.
AM: But, without any further ado, I hope that you really enjoy Spirits Podcast Episode 66: Your Urban Legends Part VI.
Intro Music
AM: Hello. It's another Your Urban Legends.
JS: That is not how we start episodes.
AM: How do we start episodes? You start episodes.
JS: Uh, I guess.
ES: I start episodes.
JS: It’s a return.
ES: Hi, guys. It’s me, Editor Eric. And I'm starting this episode.
AM: All right. All right. I know how this would work.
ES: I don’t start episodes. I don’t know how it works.
AM: Umm, Eric, you're back from Spaghetti Gettin’. How, how are you? How does it feel?
ES: I'm still covered in sauce.
JS: How's the beard growing?
ES: It’s awful.
AM: Is the beard back to normal like a Chia Pet that had just, like, spring back?
JS: That’s not how Chia Pets work.
ES: It’s, it’s getting there. It’s getting there.
AM: Or like this creepy Barbies, where you could, like, pull the hair out and then in again.
JS: Aaah.
ES: I mean I did, like, do one of those, like, stressful parts of a movie, where I punched my mirror in, like, anger –-
JS: Oh, yes, of course.
ES: -- because of how I look without the beard.
JS: Of course.
ES: And, like, you know, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll get over it. I’m back. I'm ready to – I'm ready to do it.
JS: Are you ready to tell us some non-spaghetti-themed hometown urban legends?
AM: Listeners, there is no pasta in this episode. Don't worry.
JS: I can’t make that promise.
AM: I'm pretty sure there's no spaghetti at least.
ES: No, where not guaranteeing that there won't be any penny.
JS: No, I like some penny.
AM: I love that this is now our brand. But I understand that that's not everybody's cup of tea or, or plate of dinner. So --
ES: But some people are – have a – have gluten allergies.
AM: That's true. That's true. And some people like me have garlic intolerance, which is the fucking worst.
JS: I don't know how you live.
AM: I know.
ES: You have garlic intolerance?
AM: Yes. Is that so sad?
ES: Julia, Julia, Julia, can we sidebar real quick?
JS: Oh, buddy, I know.
AM: I know.
ES: Have you – have you checked Holy Water, and a cross, and all that?
JS: No, shit. I mean we have to. Oh, no.
AM: I am very pale.
JS: You are.
ES: Okay. We’ll – we'll figure that out later. Okay. So, I have a myth from Kate. And it is titled, Iceland's Christmas Monster.
JS: Ooh.
AM: Ooh. This is good.
ES: And here's how it goes.
JS: This might have been appropriate in December, but eh --
AM: Sorry, Kate.
ES: It's a good one. It's a great one. I read it. I was like, “This is pretty good.” Gryla Icelandic Christmas Monster. So, not being from Iceland or having any family or friends of Iceland, I don't have any personal connection to Gryla. I found out about her one day. And I was traveling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole and thought it was a cool tale.
AM: I love it. That's totally fine.
ES: Gryla is an ogre/troll, who lives in a cave in the mountains. Around Christmas time, she comes down from the mountains in search of naughty children. When she finds them, she stuffs them into her sack, takes them home, and boils them alive to make her favorite stew.
JS: Same.
ES: So, like, slightly different than Krampus.
AM: Yeah.
ES: Because Krampus just, like, punishes you. Krampus does not eat you alive.
JS: He only beats you with rods.
AM: It’s kind of Hansel and Gretel.
ES: Yeah.
JS: Gryla, Gryla makes you into a good, good stew for everyone to enjoy.
ES: Well, not everyone. A couple of people are not gonna enjoy this in particular.
JS: Listen, only the person that's getting eaten.
ES: Gryla lives with her ogre/troll husband. And her husband's sons are called The Yule Lads. Right. You see why I picked this. You see why I picked this. This will be very good.
JS: Yule lads!
AM: Oh, my god. That is completely like the name of the Facebook event titled, For Somebody’s like pre-Christmas Bar Crawl. Like, when you're in your hometown with your lads.
JS: It’s like shitty SantaCon.
AM: Yule lads, cheeky Nando’s, Christmas with the fam, you know, Boxing Day lads. Oh, I love it
JS: I hate everything about that.
ES: Like their mom, they also have an insatiable appetite for human children. However, they don't really hunt kids so much as much as played pranks and cause mischief. And here is why I take this myth, because this is the list of the Yule lads.
JS: Yes!
ES: These are their, their names and a short description. And I hope to god, at our third anniversary, one of these guys kidnaps me. Here we go. Sheep Cote Clod, a peg-legged sheep-francier is fancying [Inaudible 8:52] by his peg legs.
AM: What? Wait. What? I'm gonna assume that means crush. Like, in the UK, fancy means like you, you know, likes someone.
JS: Yeah. You fancy them.
ES: Yeah.
AM: Right. Okay. All right. Moving on.
ES: Gully Gawk, hides out in ditches or gullies and waits for an opportunitune moment to run into the cowshed and lick the foam off the milk in the milk buckets. That’s what that guy is up to.
AM: Tag yourself on that one.
ES: Stubby, his name denotes stature as he is usually short. If your pie pan is missing, you can bet Stubby has stolen it to eat whatever pie crust that’s left behind.
JS: That was one’s me. That one’s me.
AM: It is.
ES: This one’s me. Spoon-Licker, licker and eat the spoons.
AM: There's a lot of missing food in Iceland. Are you guys okay?
ES: Pot-Scraper, petty thief of leftovers. Now, I like that he's a petty thief. He’s very petty. He'll steal your leftovers for the smallest of fraction.
AM: Just little stuff. Just little stuff.
ES: Bowl-Licker, this one hides under your bed and waits for you to absentmindedly put down your bowl so he can steal it and, yes, lick it.
AM: There's a lot of licking.
ES: A lot. Yeah. there is. Door-Slammer. Oh, did you just fall asleep? Not for long. This guy flies on slamming doors.
JS: It’s every apartment building problem ever.
AM: It sounds like somebody with a dog, who looks too cute to commit any of these crimes.
ES: Skyr-Gobbler. They'll be no Skyr, a type of yogurt, left in your house on the night of Skyr-Gobbler visits. This one is just eating your yogurt.
AM: I love how specific these are.
JS: So tough.
ES: Sausage-Swiper. He's gonna steal your sausage.
JS: Yep. No, nope. I got it. I got it. You don’t have to go any further. Yeah.
ES: He’s [Inaudible 10:40]. Window-Peeper, he's watching you right now.
AM: No, no. No, he's not.
ES: The Doorway-Sniffer uses his incredibly large nose to sniff through doors as a leaf bread, a traditional Icelandic bread. And he will locate that bread, and he will take it.
JS: No, eat because it’s [Inaudible 10:57].
AM: Julia is crying. She's so excited about this.
JS: It’s so tough. They’re all so petty.
AM: And the, the American ones would definitely be, like, leftover fry Fred or whatever. You know, like, like, just fucking boot, like, like, awful food.
JS: You left – no.
AM: Julia’s crying.
ES: Meat-Hook, this fellow always brings a hook along with him so he can still meat. Candle-Stealer, he follows children around so he can steal their candles leaving them in the dark.
AM: No, not from kids.
ES: Those are all of the Yule Lads and that's what they're gonna get up to in 10 months.
JS: Which am I again? Stubby?
AM: Jesus.
JS: Stub – can I put it in my profile? To my Twitter profile now?
AM: Yeah. If I had an online dating profile, I would, like, tag myself and then post the list. and be like, “Tell me which one you are.” And, if it's not Spoon-Licker, I’m not interested.
ES: Exactly. He's the best one. And, finally, Kate writes, “Now, I don't know about Gryla. But, at some point, the Yule Lads cleaned up their act. Now, they come down from the mountain cave one at a time in the 30 nights preceding Christmas and place small gifts at the shoes kids leave in the window sills. The naughty kid, however, only receive rotten potatoes.
AM: No.
JS: No.
AM: What are the gifts? Like, leftover bailey from Mr. Soup Licker?
JS: Geez. Damn.
AM: Oh, my god.
ES: The things that they had stealing all those years or the pies.
AM: No, just crust. Just like chewed-on crust.
JS: That's mine.
AM: Eww. So, guys, it's my birthday today.
JS: I mean not at the time of recording. It's Amanda's birthday when you’re hearing this.
AM: Stay in the fiction, Julia. Play in the space.
JS: Happy birthday, Amanda.
AM: Thank you.
ES: Happy Birthday.
AM: Thank you. And, in order to celebrate turning 26, on Episode 66, I chose a bunch of drunken, witchy, devilish, and, otherwise, cursed myths.
JS: Checks out. Checks out.
AM: Happy birthday to me. And I'd like to start with a myth from Helene that frankly has everything; body women, drunken escapades, and witch curses. So, I'm stoked.
JS: Cool. Do it up.
AM: So, Helene sends us to French Canadian/Montreal urban legends. So, she says that Helene is from the Province of Quebec in Canada, where French is the official language and their colonial history started with the French before they ran out of money. And then the British took over.
JS: Checks out.
AM: Checks out. Because of that, the main language remains French. And Catholicism is the main religion though it isn't really practiced as much today.
JS: Cool.
AM: This is important though, considering that the most legends and stories in Quebec have something to do with the devil or a person who broke some kind of Catholic rule. So, I'm already predisposed to really enjoy this. So, the legend that Helene’s sharing is more of an urban legend, because it's more well-known and widespread within the same province. They even have a microbrewery beer named after this. It's called La Chasse-Galerie, which she gave me a pronunciation guide. So, thank you so much for that.
JS: She knew I was probably gonna read it in this situation.
AM: Yeah. But La Chasse-Galerie is a flying canoe that men working in the distant timber camps took to rejoin their families for new years in the 1700s.
JS: Hey, send us up the year.
AM: I know. Seriously.
JS: Send us the year.
AM: Helene offered us – for us to visit. She buys beer there. Trust me, y'all. We want nothing more than to do a tour of drinking with you guys at your breweries and wineries and the stories.
JS: Yes, please.
AM: I want it so much. So, the only problem is that, to have access to this canoe, the timberman needed to make a pact with the devil. The conditions of that contract said that none of them could wear a cross, use the Lord's name in vain, or touch a church steeple while in the canoe. That seems pretty easy.
ES: Yeah, that – that's an easy one.
JS: Wait. Hold on. Do you touch church steeples easily? Is that a thing?
AM: That's what it’s saying.
JS: All right.
AM: And, also, it seems like, for the devil, using the Lord's name in vain would be like, fucking, do it all. Do it up. Right. Unless, it summons the Lord, which would be bad. I don't know. Whatever. And they needed, also, to come back to camp before dawn. So, if they, like, go out for the night, they’d have to come back before dawn. A little bit of vampiric stuff happening. Like, there have been some vampire myths where you can't say the Lord's name. So, I think it's pretty cool. But the ending changes. Sometimes, the devil spares the men. But, in pretty much every version, one of the men becomes too drunk to steer.
JS: Checks out.
AM: And they either end up hitting a church steeple or they have another accident and someone starts swearing, which I just love.
JS: Goddamnit.
ES: Where – where was this happening again?
JS: Wait. It literally just did that.
ES: How could they steer toward a church steeple? They’re in a boat.
JS: No, it’s a flying canoe.
AM: Guys, guys, it's a magic flying canoe.
ES: Oh, right. I forgot about the flying part. Sorry.
AM: Magic flying canoe. Magic flying canoe. My – so, Helene’s favorite version has the men condemned. But they tried to run away from the devil. And you can see they're flying canoe every New Year's Eve in the sky paddling away. So, kind of Peter Pan vibes.
JS: I dig it.
AM: And then the second myth that she passed along was an urban legend for the Irish of the group. Hello.
JS: Hello.
AM: Helene actually is doing a Master's in Irish Studies and loves her Irish myths, because she is Irish and has relations who drowned. So, my hypothesis checks out.
JS: God bless.
AM: So, this urban legend from Montreal is also Irish. So, it's the legend of the ghost of Mary Gallagher, also called the ghost of Griffintown, which is the neighborhood in Montreal associated with the Irish. So, historically, Irish neighborhood. This story is the story of two rowdy women, who liked to drink and lay with men.
JS: Same.
AM: And, one day, Susan Kennedy saw Mary Gallagher go into her house with the man Susan usually hung out with.
JS: Ooh.
AM: Oh-oh. Helen can't remember the man's name. Frankly, it's not important. Let's call him Michael. So, apparently, struck with fierce jealousy, Susan rushed into the house. And, upon finding Mary and Michael drunk, decides – anyone wants to predict?
JS: Murder.
AM: To cut off Mary Gallagher's head with an axe.
JS: Yeah.
AM: Michael was drunk and asleep throughout all of this. Checks out. And, so, the ghost of Mary Gallagher comes back every seven years in Griffintown looking for her head. And the best and creepiest part of the story, which is, otherwise, fairly, you know, normal, is that it's actually based on real facts. So, there was a woman named Mary G something, who was decapitated. And Susan K something, who was imprisoned connected with that crime. She was not going to hang Susan on account of her gender. But, seven years later, she died in jail.
JS: Ooh.
AM: That man who was connected with that, you know, thing.
JS: The one we're calling Michael.
AM: Michael, then died another seven years later drowned in canal. Coincidence?
JS: Seven.
AM: I think not.
JS: Seven years.
AM: I think not. The association of legend with the Irish is obvious not just because the names and the place, but also the woman living underneath Mary Gallagher's flat. Apparently, describe the noise of the head as falling like a sack of potatoes. So, this neighborhood is now super gentrified. And Mary's ghost now, for the people who live there, sort of embodies the neighborhood that has also lost its head, loss of identity, kind of roaming around trying to find, you know, itself again. And, until recently, people would gather every seven years to try and find the ghost to see it, like, as a community. And, so, Helene was like, “Don't get me started about stereotypes of the drunk Irish, et cetera, et cetera.” I loved this so much. Helene says thanks for the podcast and sorry for the link. Don't worry. We are – we are super into it.
JS: Yeah.
AM: So, Irish ghosts, drunkenness, Canadian myths, there you go.
JS: Cool. We're going to go to Brazil next --
AM: Ooh.
JS: -- with an email from Paolo.
AM: Hey.
JS: And Paolo goes, I have a creepy story to share. It originates from a tragedy that happened here in São Paulo back in 1974. A building called Joelma got on fire and, due to the building's poor safety conditions, ultimately, 179 people died that day.
AM: Oof.
JS: Until this day, as you can imagine, because it's very common in places where big tragedies occur, every now and then, people talk about strange things. Like, voices late at night screaming for help, scaring the hell out of janitors, or security guards. Lock doors that inexplicably get opened by themselves and things like that. But the most creepy thing that occurred in Joelma was that, during the fire, 13 people got stuck in one of the elevators, suffocated, and were burned alive. Nobody could identify who they were. They became known as Joelma’s 13 souls. They were buried in the Villa Alpina cemetery here in São Paulo. Now, the legend goes that, all the time, the cemetery security guards hear agonizing voices screaming for water. Some people, when visiting the cemetery, drop a cup of water on the grave in an effort to alleviate the souls from their burning pain. Also, on the grave is a plaque that tells visitors not to light candles for them, again, because of the way that they died in the fire.
AM: Oh, god.
JS: Another thing to mention is that believers of all sorts of religions ask the souls for miracles. And some of them have been granted their wishes as people can see by plaques and messages written on the tomb thanking the 13 souls for their help. And he attached some pictures and stuff like that, which I will link in the description.
AM: Oh, I love it.
JS: Nice, short, and to the point.
AM: Yeah. And also, like, you know that I'm a sucker for hauntings related to deaths that are really physical. Like stuff that you really can, like, feel in your body and that idea of like thirst and fire and heat. Ugh, it's a lot.
JS: Yeah. No. It’s some really good imagery, And it's really cool that people are – go to them in order to have their – like, that's – that's such a twist --
AM: Yeah.
JS: -- because normally agonized spirits, you know, they're not – they're not doing business in order to help people.
AM: Yeah. [Inaudible 20:28].
JS: But [Inaudible 20:28].
AM: Right.
JS: Yeah, they do, which is --
AM: Yeah.
JS: Which is very sweet.
ES: Yeah, these ones are willing to help, which is, yeah, chilling I would say.
JS: Yeah. I like that.
AM: Yeah, for sure.
JS: It’s super cool. Eric, do you have another one?
ES: This letter comes to us from Jacob. And they are telling us about the Ghost Cat.
JS: Ghost Cat!
AM: Ghost Cat.
ES: He writes, I just finished listening to Episode 54 of the podcasts, where someone had written in about a ghost cat. And I felt I should reach out. While my experience was not quite the same, I have also encountered what I believe is a ghost cat or what I have dubbed a phantom feline.
JS: Perfect. Beautiful. Sign me up. I love it.
AM: This completely counts. Don't worry. Write us in about all of your ghostly feline experiences.
ES: I live in a small town in Iowa with my wife and our two run-of-the-mill, flesh-and-blood cats. Periodically, I will keep --
JS: As supposed to your, you spectral cats.
ES: I was – I was --
AM: You know --
ES: I mean that is, obviously, the situation [Inaudible 21:22] here, Julia.
JS: I know. I know. I was worried you were gonna say my real flesh and blood children. I was like, “Oh, okay.”
AM: Hang on.
ES: [Inaudible 21:27] children.
AM: This is the answer for my allergies.
JS: A ghost cat.
AM: I am allergic to all things fuzzy, cute, and also natural; trees, cats, hamsters, flowers. You name it. I'm allergic to it. It makes me sneeze. What if I had a ghost cat?
JS: Someone please send Amanda a ghost cat.
AM: Someone please send me the specters of your cat today.
JS: In the arms --
AM: You have the opportunity to support a woman who has never had the loving embrace of a warm pet. Never been able to take selfies with a cute cat. Has never gotten scratched when all she wanted was to move the cat off her laptop. Today. By texting 866866. You have the opportunity to donate to this worthy cause and get the feline phantom that this world deserves.
JS: In the arms of the angels. Fly away with me. Ta, ta, ta, ta ra, ta, ra, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. Ta, ra, ta, ta, ta, ta, ra, ra.
ES: Periodically, I will hear sounds that I would associate as being one of the cats. But I would find them both fast asleep merely a feet from me. The noises aren't anything frightening but simply that of typical cat behavior; scratching at the door frame or the litter box, a jingling collar, a slight pitter-patter coming down the stairs, or even a distant meow. On occasion, I will catch a glimpse of a cat flicking its tail out of the corner of my eye, only for it to vanish when I turn to see which of the cats it was. Again, finding them right by me. I've even felt it brushed up against my leg while maintaining sight of actual cats. On more than one occasion, I have found the cats fixated with something at the top of the stairs that I cannot see or running around like they are playing with another cat that isn't there.
AM: Oooh.
JS: I love this. I want a ghost cat now.
AM: I like it too. It's so – like, it's not – it's not, like, chaotic and disturbing. It's, it's like a sort of extra dimension on your existing life if you know what I mean.
JS: Sure.
AM: And that I think is a very cool kind of haunting.
ES: Everything about this has always been more confusing than frightening to me. But my wife will tell you otherwise. One day, I was driving home from a town about 20 miles away. She called me in tears saying that something had shrieked directly behind her. It scared her so bad that she left the house. She called me from the car driving around waiting for me to return.
AM: Good move.
JS: That's a logical wife.
ES: Our house is pretty old, built in the 20s. So, it makes a good amount of noise on its own. But I've never heard a house make a noise that would make a person flee in terror. Maybe I'm dealing with multiple entities. Maybe the cat is there with his or her owner. Maybe it's something pretending to be a cat to get me to interact with. Or maybe it's just a shapeshifting tiger that can only turn into different sizes of cats.
AM: Good theory.
JS: That's adorable.
ES: The, the theory continues. Second and alternate dimension that lays so close to our own [Inaudible 24:07] maybe places where they start to bleed into one another. Either way, I'm moving in the next few weeks and plan on doing some small paranormal investigation after I no longer require to sleep in that house. If I find anything noteworthy, I will be sure to send it your way. Love the show. Keep it up.
JS: How can – how can you possibly move when you have a ghost cat?
AM: Ghost cat. You don't have to feed it. You don’t have to change the litter box.
ES: Well, it sounds like the ghost cat might be bad sometimes to them.
AM: You just got to enjoy its, its wonders, its choices.
JS: Yeah.
AM: Julia just heard a weird noise.
JS: I did.
AM: Did my plea for the ghost cat work out?
JS: I heard a noise that sound like a cat. That's why I looked around. I was like, “The fuck?” AM: Yeah. Not gonna lie. I – I'm not – this is not an audio drama Spagghost script happening.
JS: No, I did hear something that sounded like --
AM: I also did hear something.
JS: Okay.
AM: I don’t know. Anyway. But I would never move away from that house. That sounds wonderful. And, listen, when you move into a new space, sage is never a bad idea.
JS: Nope.
AM: It's not, not gonna hurt anything. Not gonna hurt anything. Costs you $15. Might save you from some ghosts. So, just – you know, just, just do it.
JS: Yeah.
AM: I have a letter here from some BFFs named Amy and Johanna.
JS: Yo!
AM: Like Amanda and Julia.
JS: Aww.
AM: And I thought that this had such drunken escapades, such hauntings, and, and such friendship love. It’s everything you could ever want. Also, lots of photos and links. I love citations. So, we will include a link to this email in the description. So, the subject is Embra is a very haunted place.
JS: Yep, I remember this email now.
AM: And that just – that just about sums it up. So, Amy and Johanna, neither of them are from Embra. But they have lived and, you know, worked in Embra for many, many years to be considered locals. This city in Scotland is listed in the top 10 most haunted cities in the world.
JS: Cool.
AM: And there many, many ghost stories from all over. But the one that we're gonna focus on right now is called Greyfriars Kirkyard.
JS: Wham.
AM: Sounds like a star trek character.
JS: That’s a name.
AM: It is a name. So, Kirkyard, it means churchyard. Kirk is a Scottish dialect for church. It’s a massive tourist attraction for many reasons, including that, one, it's the location of Tom Riddle’s grave, where J.K. Rowling got the name from.
JS: Oh, yo!
AM: Yep. That, like, she saw the name Tom Riddle on a grave. And that's where she got the name from. And it's – Lily Evans, I think, is also a name on a grave somewhere in there, where she got Lila Evans from. Very cool.
JS: Sweet.
AM: So, two, it's the resting place of Greyfriars Bobby, who was a Skye Terrier dog that spent 14 years guarding the grave of his owner in that same Kirkyard. Like, oh, my god, so cute. Also, three, it's where the famous grave robbers Burke and Hare started their “business” digging up dead bodies from freshly laid graves for their buddy Dr. Knox. So, this kind of idea we have of, like, grave robbers giving bodies to anatomical researchers and doctors and training.
JS: Mhmm. Sure. Sure.
AM: Started with this very famous, like, duo getting bodies for their buddy. They also worked out that fresh bodies mean more money. So, apparently, legend has it, they moved down to a pub and started murdering people, who wouldn't be missed.
JS: Yo!
AM: Sweet Todd style. Storing their corpses under the beds in the inn upstairs.
JS: I feel like that's less Sweeney Todd style and more Arsenic and Old Lace style.
AM: That is true, but there is the, like – the, like, in over the shock.
JS: There's less cannibalism in this story.
AM: Less cannibalism. That’s true. And, actually, there are these really creepy photos in the email of cages that people put over graves, which are called Mortsafes.
JS: Yes, I know these.
AM: They weren't actually to stop people's loved ones from rising from the grave again.
JS: No, it’s to stop people from digging up the graves and stealing the bodies.
AM: Precisely. And the fourth reason that this graveyard – this kirkyard is very, you know, important and a tourist attraction is the Mackenzie Poltergeist.
JS: Yo!
AM: This is what this is. In 1989, a homeless man broke into the Black Mausoleum looking for shelter and disturbs the ghost of Sir George Bloody “Mackenzie.”
JS: You're – you're already fucked up with that, dude.
AM: Already, like – I'm very sorry. Homelessness is very serious, but please don't break into mausoleums like fucking spike on Buffy to, to make this happen.
JS: Then don't have sex in those say mausoleum like Buffy.
AM: Super not. Super not. Sir George MacKenzie was a former Lord Advocate. And there have been over 500 recorded incidents since of a poltergeist from this tomb attacking people. So, there used to be a ghost tour that visited the mausoleum, where visitors often mentioned a strong feeling of unease as well as unexplained, wait for it, cuts, bruises, scratches, and broken bones.
JS: Yeah. Okay. So, like the first three, yeah., that – sometimes, those things happen.
ES: Yeah. Unexplained.
JS: Understandable. Broken bones – unexplained broken bone.
ES: Yeah. Everyone's broken up with just your femur in two.
AM: Liability insurance.
JS: You can’t not remember --
AM: No.
JS: -- falling on to your leg and breaking it.
AM: I’m, I’m just trying to --
JS: That’s – no.
AM: -- think about the poor, like, office manager, who gets the call. Like, “Oh, yeah. Susan, can you just dispatch someone here. There's, there's another one.” Another one Jim. Another one. An article in the Scotsman newspaper from 2006, so, just seven years after the poltergeist is apparently activated, claims at 450 documented attacks, and 140 people had collapsed and “even suspicion that the MacKenzie Poltergeist was responsible for the death of a local psychic” --
JS: Yo!
AM: -- after that psychic attempted an exorcism on the mausoleum.
JS: You fucked up.
AM: You fucked up, my friend. That psychic didn't even finish before noping the fuck out of there fearing for his life. And he died a couple weeks later of a sudden unexplained heart attack.
JS: Yeah.
AM: Which is very sad, but also, like, “Oh, I don’t know.”
JS: You fucked up.
AM: The ghost tour officially stopped because of the sheer volume of people passing out at the mausoleum. It sounds like a smart idea.
JS: [Inaudible 29:49].
AM: We're not sure when it stopped from asking around. Amy and Johanna did some first person research and asked around and tried to see when it stopped, but they, they weren't sure. They think it was relatively recent as of 2018. So, the tour is known to collect images and reports of sightings and injuries, et cetera. And, until October 2003, when the offices of the tour company mysteriously burnt down, destroying all evidence collected.
JS: Burst into flames.
AM: None of the connecting buildings to that office were affected and the origin of the fire is unknown to this day. On the bright side though, there is still a walking tour around that graveyard, the kirkyard, because there is a cute dog and also Harry Potter.
JS: Cool.
AM: And they still tell these ghost stories just, you know, during the daylight.
JS: And not inside the mausoleum.
AM: Nope. Don't go in there.
JS: Cool.
AM: Also, interestingly, a large section of the graveyard right next to that black mausoleum was cordoned off. And, actually, it's known as the Covenanter’s Prison. So, it was once “home to 1,200 members of a failed anti-government revolution in 1679.” It was a prison. You know, Covenanter. I guess that's what that means.
JS: Mhmm. Sure.
AM: Umm, I don't know. But conditions at this prison were so brutal and violent that only 257 of those prisoners made it out alive four months after their mass incarceration. The public are now not allowed in that prison section of the graveyard in daylight or after night for their own safety.
JS: Wow.
AM: What do you do with it though? Like, I think it's a really good question. Like, what do you do with a section of a graveyard? Like, that is the one consecrated, like, holy thing that human beings don't touch. We don't fuck with the dead, you know. And, like, what do you do?
JS: Well, we, we do.
AM: We do, but we know it's a mistake, you know.
JS: Yeah. Yeah.
AM: And, and, like, what, what do you do if a section of a graveyard is messed up? Like, who owns that land? Like, what – you know, what do you do?
JS: The church probably.
AM: No, but like – I don't know. There's no good way to, like, disturb the dead.
JS: As poltergeist informed us, there is no way to fuck with the dead properly.
AM: Yeah, absolutely. And there's also a very cool section here. Again, we’ll include the full email about the vaults, which are sections underneath the part of Embra that's near South Bridge. And it's like a very cool, creepy, like, vault full of bodies. There were pubs. There were brothels. There's a haunted bar underground. And I super, super want to visit now.
JS: You want go to it? Yeah, right.
AM: But I would love to take a tour. It sounds really, really fun. So, thank you, Amy and Johanna, for not just sending us these myths between first-person research to see if we can figure out the, the, the cause of this mysterious tour company closing. Thank you. We love you.
JS: We appreciate it.
AM: Yay.
JS: So, we'll – we'll do another email. This one is from Kaylee. Kaylee writes, “Hey, y'all, in light of the most recent urban legends episode” – this is from a while ago. Sorry, Kaylee. I figured I email in my own to share. She writes, “They first happened when I was a kid, probably about seven or eight. I was in the Girl Scouts. And, as a field trip, we stayed in a civil war era boat in Baltimore Harbor for the night.”
AM: Nope.
JS: Yep.
ES: No. No. Not me.
AM: No, no, no.
ES: This is one thing I said. It’s that Civil War ghosts are no good.
JS: Yes.
AM: That is true.
JS: Part of it was we were meant to be ship’s boys, which meant we had to take watch in groups of two or three in the middle of the night.
ES: Wait. Hold on.
AM: Oh-oh.
ES: Hold on. But why, why have to take watch?
JS: Because they were pretending to be like people on the boat and their position was ship’s boy, which they – ship’s boys were notoriously like --
ES: This doesn’t seem like a good – this doesn’t seem like an effective use of --
AM: No.
ES: -- educational tools and experiences for children.
AM: Also, does this remind anybody of the fucked up like Alaskan wilderness survival myth we read?
JS: Yes, it does.
AM: Oh, my god.
JS: Except, this is in Baltimore Harbor. So, I think they're probably okay.
AM: I mean – but like, “Oh, no. What happens?”
JS: Okay. Obviously, I'm already a bit creeped out staying in a pitch-black super old boat and with the beds right next to the old med bay, where a ton of people died. And, when it came time for my watch at 2:00 AM, I was already wide awake.
AM: Children shouldn't be awake at 2:00 AM.
ES: Yep. Yep. No.
JS: I woke up the --
AM: And why is there like --
ES: Why did you sleep on this boat?
AM: Oh, god.
ES: Why did they even sleep on this boat?
JS: It's like --
AM: I can sleep on the boat.
JS: No, no, no. It's like people who like sleep on like the Intrepid and shit like overnight
AM: No.
JS: Yes. That's a thing people do.
AM: No! No.
ES: It’s [Inaudible 34:13]. No, no. I've done that. I, I slept on like a like World War II boat one time with Boy Scouts.
JS: Yeah. Okay.
ES: But that’s like a boat with lights and stuff. This is an old boat.
JS: They probably could put lights in it, but they don't. Whatever. I’m finishing this goddamn story.
AM: No, no, no. I want to have a quick, selfish plug.
JS: No.
AM: It's my birthday. I can plug if I want to. I want to sleep in the Metropolitan Museum and/or the Museum of Natural History.
JS: That’s a fucking thing you can do.
AM: I know. You have to pay money for it though.
JS: Okay.
AM: So, if anybody has connections and at a museum literally anywhere, I just want to sleep in the museum overnight. I want to be Mrs. Basil E. Frank Weiler. And I want to do it. So, if you have connections hit me the fuck up, spiritspodcast@gmail.
JS: Okay.
ES: So, you’re plug is a – is more of a request for yourself to do something cool.
JS: Yeah.
AM: I’m using my fame for selfish reasons. Yes. Podcasting has been the longest con.
JS: So, Kaylee writes --
AM: Sorry, Kaylee. Sorry, Julia.
JS: I woke up the other girl I was going with, and we started walking around the ship. On our second lap around, I looked behind me to make sure the other girl was still following behind and saw a third figure behind us, way taller than any of the girls on the trip.
AM: No!
JS: It was still super dark though. So, I assumed it was one of the adults checking on us and didn't say anything. The whole time walking around, I had a really strong feeling of being watched. And I didn't sleep for the rest of the night because of it.
AM: Wooh.
JS: I would chalk it up to sleep deprivation and imagination. But, at a later Girl Scout meeting, the troop leader took me aside and asked who the man was on the boat with us. She told me she'd woken up in the middle of my watch and saw a tall man following us. It scared the shit out of me suffice to say.
ES: So, what we have here is gross negligence by the Girl Scout of America.
JS: Yes, I agree.
ES: More than anything else, it sounds like a Girl Scout leader was awake. First off, apparently, they just let the girls wander the boat at 2:00 AM. That doesn't seem safe. Secondly, one of them was spying on them from a distance and saw a tall creepy guy and just didn't do anything. What are you doing Girl Scouts?
AM: Oh, man.
JS: Kaylee has one more quick story.
AM: Oh.
JS: Story number two comes from a little later when I told my grandma about this and asked if she believes in ghosts. My grandma is a seamstress. And she told me that, back in the 80s, she was working for someone in the city, who may or may not have been part of the mafia, but that's another story. She was alone in his house. And, after sewing for a while, she stood up to get a glass of water and saw a woman standing at the bottom of the stairs. The woman was in full period dress with 1800s era banner and a nightgown and just kind of stared at my grandma for a moment. The way my grandma tells it, she didn't even think to be afraid. There wasn't any ill will coming from the woman. And my grandma was eerily calm through the whole thing. My grandma and the ghost stared at each other for a while. And then the ghost smiled at her. My grandma blinked. And, when she opened her eyes, the woman was gone.
AM: Wohohoho.
JS: And she goes, “I hope they – I hope these were creepy-cool enough for y'all. Hearts, hearts.”
ES: They were.
AM: I think it does.
ES: They definitely were.
JS: They were. They’re some really good ones.
AM: Yeah. I love that image of the sort of like the ghost coexisting, you know.
JS: Yeah.
AM: And just like hanging out in your space together.
JS: Beautiful. Thank you, Kaylee.
AM: Also, literally, can every single person go ask their grandparents if they believe in ghosts and have your voice memo on your phone turned on and send us them? Actual people's grandparents’ stories. And we're going to finish up with a story from CJ, who writes to us with a Czech folktale called the Stray Boulder. And this is, again, about friendship, drunken escapades and, and, and love. So, I thought it'd be a good note to end on.
JS: Okay.
AM: CJ is a native New Yorker living in a Bohemian town of České Budě – Hold on. České Budějovice in the Czech Republic. CJ gave me pronunciation, and I did my best.
JS: Okay.
AM: Anyway. So, in this town, CJ picked up some local legends and is going to recount one. So, most cities, of any size throughout Europe, have a central Town Square often cobbled, which I can attest to. And this city of České is no exception. The square, in particular in this town, is very square and symmetric and perfect, which is actually pretty uncommon. Often, it would just be kind of a rectangular shape. And, you know, wherever the lines were, that's where the lines were. But, in this square, there is a blemish of a particular note. There's a singular oval, cobble about the size of a loaf of bread, and has an X etched deeply upon it, letter X. The stone is called the Bludný Kámen, I think, or, in English, the Stray Boulder. So, when CJ was new to town, they were talking with a school friend in the square and asked about the Stray Boulder. It does stand out from the rest of the very perfect regimented, chessboard-like Town Square. So, the friend said, “Oh, you want to avoid that.” It apparently marks where the town gallows once stood. And, actually, this is like research-based and true. And it marks the spot where 10 men accused of regicide were hung. The friend didn't mention that part. Just that it was, you know, marks about gallows. So, CJ’s friend said that, if you stand on that stone as the bell tower is striking the 12 tolls of midnight, you will be set lost into the city by the spirits of the dead unable to find rest or return home until the sun rises. As far as curses go, not that bad. I will take a curse that lasts like five-ish hours until the sun rises, but still. So, many months later, a different friend of CJ had been spending the day two hours north in the capital, Prague. And the two of them were returning together home by train. Beer on trains is way overpriced. So, they brought on some “orange juice” and got thoroughly drunk on the train ride home. So, by the time they got off the train and rode the bus into town center, it was nearly midnight. CJ says, “I know you think you know what's going to happen, but just hold on. Any predictions?
ES: Ghost train. It's the ghost train from Hey, Arnold!
AM: Okay. All right. That’s a – it’s different to the, the Snowball Express? What was that movie? What’s it called?
ES: It’s the --
JS: Polar Express?
AM: Polar Express.
JS: Jesus Christ!
ES: Yes, it’s very different. One star is – one star is an uncanny valley, Tom Hanks. And the other was in Hey Arnold!
AM: Okay. Well, in this case, no ghost train. This is CJ and Sophia at midnight in the town square when the first toll of midnight struck in the churchyard. Sophia suddenly lurched away from CJ and yells out, “Do you see it?” CJ looks around, but Sophia is just pointing out toward the town center. And CJ is like, “What?” So, Sophia persists in running pell-mell toward the town center, apparently, chasing something that no one else can see as the bell continues to strike 12. CJ was giving chase, but Sophia is on a mission. CJ rounds the corner into the square after Sophia. And she is making for the clock tower. CJ tries to call her back, but, at this point, she's repeatedly just saying, “Wait. Wait.” while running. Thoroughly worried for their friend’s mental health safety, CJ just keeps trying to catch up to her. As the final toll, the 12th toll strikes, Sophia collapses to the ground, her arms outstretched above her, reaching out toward nothing. CJ falls to the ground next to Sophia and holds her and asks, “What? What is it? Like, what's going on?” She says, “It's an angel. It's an angel. Don't you see it?” She's crying and shaking, and she just keeps saying, “It's an angel.” CJ sees nothing and is completely freaked the fuck out by this. And, while they see nothing, the air had an electric quality that was and continues to be as they think back on this very kind of upsetting, you know, situation. Like, it – you know, it feels unnerving. It feels weird. They were, to remind everybody, extremely drunk. So, Sophia, after a few beats, brings her arms and doubles over crying and, like, mumbling about how beautiful it was. And, at that moment, CJ glances down and sees that one of Sophia's knees and one of CJs knees are on the Stray Boulder. And, though CJ is an atheist, at that moment, they knew that some force had truly and utterly like fuck them over and put them in a really weird position. There is nothing, CJ says, quite like a drunk girl seeing angels. And, after that, they hopped a few bars to kind of drink away their memory, took a few taxis that didn't bring us where they were supposed to, got lost a few times, had to walk two miles at one point cutting through a cow field. Sounds like one of my grandpa's stories about walking to, to school. They hid behind some bushes from some nefarious people during that night. And, ultimately, as they were walking up the hill to the house where CJ was staying, the sun was creeping up behind us. Their shadows were long in front. And they had been lost for the whole night. So, I'm going to link to some photos of that Stray Boulder. It is very cool. It is very creepy. I love that image. And, CJ, thank you for writing in.
JS: Nice.
ES: That's a very cool
AM: Guys, I would get lost all night with you in Czech Republic.
JS: Thanks, boo.
ES: Me too.
AM: Thank you listeners for sending in your stories. Please keep them coming. We are working slowly through our back catalogue. If you send it to us, we read it and we get excited. So, more stories about friendship, more stories about ghost pets. I'm super behind it. And more stories about weird stuff you did as kids that you completely should not be allowed to do as kids, please.
JS: And remember to stay creepy.
AM: Stay cool.
Outro Music
ES: Look out for Spoon-Licker.
JS: Spoon, fucking, Licker!
AM: Spoon-Licker!
JS: Yule lads.
AM: Yule lads for life.
JS: Yule lads.
AM: Spirits was created by Amanda McLoughlin, Julia Schifini, and Eric Schneider with music by Kevin MacLeod, and visual design by Allyson Wakeman.
JS: Keep up with all things creepy and cool by following us on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and Instagram @SpiritsPodcast. We also have all our episodes, collaborations, and guest appearances plus merch on our website, spiritspodcast.com.
AM: Come on over to our Patreon page, patreon.com/Spiritspodcast, for all kinds of behind-the-scenes stuff. Throw us as little as $1 and get access to audio extras, recipe cards, director’s commentaries, and patron-only live streams.
JS: And, hey, if you like the show, please share this with your friends. That is the best way to help us keep on growing.
AM: Thank you so much for listening, ‘til next time.
Transcriptionist: Rachelle Rose Bacharo
Editor: Krizia Casil